If you were as fearful for your family's safety as Harry is....

[PostingForTheFirstTime]

...why would you want to have them participate in a really high-profile public bash?

Particularly one to celebrate an institution you have walked away from.

Genuinely puzzled.

@RoseAndRose but Sophie would need to do even more in the new world to cover for the Cambridges having family life, the Yorks persona non grata, no queen and Charles restricted to UK due to age

Hence my point about the Cambridge model being a burden to Sophie

nottodaybatman

I agree, if she's already doing plenty.

In your opinion dexra.

In mine opinion there is. I do not need you to validate my opinion. I am happy for you to disagree with me.

I just feel there are two types of people who bring up Harry and Meghan. Those who like them and those who bring them up to find like-minds to bash them. It's all getting boring for us the Anti-Royals. Just let them be.
The last royal I followed and liked was Diana and as a mum my heart breaks that such a nice lady has her sons divided Bcos mostly of the paparazzi that got her killed. And we are all fanning the flames of hate with the constant gossip and speculation.

I think we'll find that with exception of the military, there will organisations that will lose their royal patrons. Now according to many on this thread, having a royal patron makes no difference whatsoever, and they'll find that other VIPs or celebs will be just as effective. I'm not so sure the organisations will see it that way though.

Military will have to get spread around - minor royals perhaps having one smaller regiment/corps each. Others perhaps getting their local Duke (some precedent if either the regiment still has local roots, or the current Duke has a military background). Not sure who else could really do the role though

@RoseAndRose have you looked at the organisations that have Royal patrons? There are some decent charities - lots of whom get no visits from their Patrons. But there are also a lot that are basically clubs for hobbies of the aristocracy. For them I don't care if they don't have any Patron. If they dropped all of them, they could continue being Patrons for proper charities.

Andrew and Harry were the only ones who served. Dropping these military patronages on the rest will look ridiculous.
These will need to be slimmed down and the other charities will need to be largely in the UK so they have a fighting chance of their patron visiting.

@nottodaybatman

Andrew and Harry were the only ones who served. Dropping these military patronages on the rest will look ridiculous. These will need to be slimmed down and the other charities will need to be largely in the UK so they have a fighting chance of their patron visiting.

Camilla has The Rifles, she's never been a rifleman and will not be one. The Rifles don't seem to mind 🤷🏻‍♀️

They will always hold military honours, the guys and gals in the regiment don't care, and the officers mess just has a "naice" painting of them on the wall as they drink port and joust with ceremonial swords on top of waiters trolleys, underneath said painting.

[quote nottodaybatman]@RoseAndRose but Sophie would need to do even more in the new world to cover for the Cambridges having family life, the Yorks persona non grata, no queen and Charles restricted to UK due to age

Hence my point about the Cambridge model being a burden to Sophie[/quote]
Are Eugenie and Beatrice persona non grata because of their father? That doesn't seem fair, they haven't done anything wrong have they.

@nottodaybatman

The complaints about the funeral, the poor ratings on earth shot and the weirdness over kates birthday

It is so OTT and the energy doesn't match the reception it gets

Sorry I'm lost.

What were the complaints about the funeral?
What was the weirdness about Kate's birthday?

I'm obviously not keeping up with royal news.

@Roussette Yes a mistype, but somewhat hypocritical when the same poster picks up, and comments on others obvious proofreading slips.

A mountain out of a molehill.

I have made a genuine mistake before, then corrected it quickly, and been chastised endlessly over pages even when the mistake is corrected. It's what some posters do and it's pathetic!

Coming back to the sussexes visiting. I wonder if Harry has been ok to a point staying at Windsor, maybe for Meghan there are a few triggering things - it never having felt like home and a place with unhappy memories for her. There is going to be awkwardness with the family after the Unnamed royal racist accusation and the “she made me cry but let everyone blame me” comment about Kate. Worried to ask for a firmer pillow for fear of being accused of bullying, or eat an avocado without it being reported in the sun. I can imagine setting themselves up in a penthouse somewhere with protection officers would be preferable for them - and optics wise, elevate them as an alternative Californian court.

@Pawprintpaper good point- royal residences may be safer in terms of physical security but not good emotionally

I don't think he is obliged to come due to family pressure (the opposite infact). I think he feels a need to come and still be recognized and respected. It is impossible to have led a life of part-time but continuous public service in the UK since birth, then suddenly be transported to sunny, dusty, shallow LA and find equivalent satisfaction there. It's a way of piping up "remember me? I still exist". It is a legitimate expectation which feels intolerable only because it is being played out in public via tabloids.

Every single royal has enough property at their disposal to host Harry and his family under their government protection without even seeing them once. The issue is awkwardness and a pride one. Meghan in particular has burned a lot of bridges. They tried to pull off a Diana but it failed when a global pandemic rapidly unfolded alongside their plans. There probably wasn't a plan B so they still want the upper hand which Plan A would have given them.

[quote Nishkin]@Pawprintpaper good point- royal residences may be safer in terms of physical security but not good emotionally[/quote]
Frogmore might be different though, it was done up by them and now Eugenie lives there and she's a friend of MM so they might be comfortable there.

@Soffit

I don't think he is obliged to come due to family pressure (the opposite infact). I think he feels a need to come and still be recognized and respected. It is impossible to have led a life of part-time but continuous public service in the UK since birth, then suddenly be transported to sunny, dusty, shallow LA and find equivalent satisfaction there. It's a way of piping up "remember me? I still exist". It is a legitimate expectation which feels intolerable only because it is being played out in public via tabloids.

I can imagine it would be hard for him to be in California and see everyone else in the family together. On the otherhand it might not feel great being with everyone else as whatever the rights and wrongs of what he and MM have said family members are clearly going to be hurt and a bit wary. I'm not sure which would be better for him, it would be hard for anyone to advise him but thankfully that isn't our responsibility.

I can imagine it would be hard for him to be in California and see everyone else in the family together. On the otherhand it might not feel great being with everyone else as whatever the rights and wrongs of what he and MM have said family members are clearly going to be hurt and a bit wary. I'm not sure which would be better for him, it would be hard for anyone to advise him but thankfully that isn't our responsibility.

But that’s life isn’t it. You make choices and have to accept the consequences.

@Pawprintpaper

Coming back to the sussexes visiting. I wonder if Harry has been ok to a point staying at Windsor, maybe for Meghan there are a few triggering things - it never having felt like home and a place with unhappy memories for her. There is going to be awkwardness with the family after the Unnamed royal racist accusation and the “she made me cry but let everyone blame me” comment about Kate. Worried to ask for a firmer pillow for fear of being accused of bullying, or eat an avocado without it being reported in the sun. I can imagine setting themselves up in a penthouse somewhere with protection officers would be preferable for them - and optics wise, elevate them as an alternative Californian court.

I think you are correct about the accusation of bullying if she asks for anything. It seems unfortunate that the main palaces with the security they need, have all sorts of issues, especially the leaking and accusations.

I'm sure they would be happy to visit the cousins, but as discussed on here, they don't have security. I think KP and CC are out of the question, they seem the most problematic.

I get that it is not feasible for the police to find officers for a couple of weeks here and there.

Is it the case Harry is offering to pay for full-time officers (all year around) - e.g. even when he is not in the UK he is responsible for their full cost? Is he effectively offering to meet the full cost of his previous detail but agreeing that he will only use them as and when he is in the UK?

Opens a can of worms though. As surely we will see other minor royals wanting to do the same.

I have always wondered what it must be like to grow up and live without the usual fears and stresses of ordinary people. He will have never walked down the street at night with a set of keys in his hand looking into the shadows. Never had to get into a taxi and wonder about the man driving.

Let's face it Harry's fears are pretty abstract.

Re. Visiting the UK. I imagine they'll do what many international couples do, and Harry will visit his home country separately, sometimes with the children. That may not be feasible while Lilibert is so young and probably bf, but it could be in another year, and he'll always have a nanny in tow.

That's how many ordinary couples handle it. My American DH hasn't visited the UK for years, because he doesn't have the same emotional attachment as me even though he enjoyed living there. I visit alone or bring the children with me. MM doesn't need to set foot in the UK again if she doesn't want to - or may choose to visit very occasionally.

Thank you for the very good posts above. I'm not counting how many, but interesting points from several of you.

I can imagine it would be hard for him to be in California

It's so cold and so damp.

@stupendousfragmentariness

I can imagine it would be hard for him to be in California

It's so cold and so damp.

Yes because if you see you whole family celebrating and you feel you can't be there saying, "Oh it isn't damp." is going to stop you feeling left out.