HRH The Prince Philip Funeral

[IamnotH]

Watching on BBC 1. Wish Huw would shut up and let us listen to the bands/watch them March.

@SenecaFallsRedux

I don't blame the Royal Family for being taken by surprise by the public hysteria after Diana died. I was too. I felt as if I was living in a foreign country.

And I felt, watching from the US that I was seeing a UK that I did not recognize at all. Much of the commentary in US media had to do with the public reaction, rather than how the RF was handling it. I had quite a bit of sympathy for the RF; I think they were blindsided, and the media certainly didn't help.

Several people on here have referred to a gathering after the funeral as a wake. I'm Episcopalian (US version of the CofE), and the wake, or more properly called the vigil, is held before the funeral. It's a somber time, although there is some socializing (and in some churches it would be called "visitation" for that reason.) A gathering after the funeral where refreshments are served and where there is socializing is just called a reception. So I wonder is it common in the CofE to call the after gathering a "wake"?

In the UK (or in England at least) it is common for all after funeral gatherings to be referred to as a 'wake'. I've been to CofE, Catholic and Greek Orthodox funerals here and there's always been a wake afterwards (all in non COVID times).

I'm not sure if that's strictly correct in terms of what the religions themselves refer to them as, but it's what most people here generally call them.

The immediate plan after Diana's death by her family and her brother Charles was for a family funeral but once the public mass mourning and weirdness started to ratchet up his eye alighted on the main chance and he took it.

I was upset when Diana died. It was a shocking and sad event which remains shocking and sad to this day. I didn't grieve for her like a member of her own family. That would have been ridiculous. On MN it seems that my feelings about it are not valid. My brother was killed in an accident at 32 so I know about tragedy.

Thanks timeforanewnameagain. I've been to a few weddings in the UK, but never a funeral.

Our C of E Church does smells and bells.
It's really relaxed tbb, lots of people in jeans and kids tootling around.

@CassandraCross

The immediate plan after Diana's death by her family and her brother Charles was for a family funeral but once the public mass mourning and weirdness started to ratchet up his eye alighted on the main chance and he took it.

That was his beloved sister.

That was his beloved sister. That he turned his back on and refused to help when she pleaded with him to help her.

The tacky exploitation of her at Althorp is a sight to behold.

I, too, was sad when Diana died. It was shocking. But to me, the public reaction, which I do understand was whipped up by the media, was similar to me of an experience I had when my mother died. A certain distant-ish family member just became overwrought and displayed that to all and sundry so that that several days of the most difficult time in my life were spent in detailed conversations about how to help this person. My brother and I were WTF, but at least we had each other and our spouses to focus on our needs.

I believe ancientgran and I hold a similar understanding of the term wake but most others seem to call the reception that. I don’t know what we call it - usually just mentioned in the paper as ‘refreshments’ and in person as ‘you’ll be coming back for a cuppy tea and a piece’

The pall bearers did a splendid job. Utterly splendid. Although like you, I think PP would have had a sly wry grin at anything untoward.

As would my granda. Things went a bit awry at his graveside. It was snowy and slippy and he went down at a bit of a jaunty angle.

Men were in wellies over the top of their Sunday best and the grip on them was questionable. The cold made the grip with their hands a bit dodgy too. Someone lost a bunnet.
A little swear was heard.

And my granda would have chuckled behind his hands all day long. The gasps followed by giggles would have been a story he would have loved to tell everyone.

He would, had he had the choice, been carried to his resting place by the Shires and Clydes that he worked in his younger years.

I believe he would have loved the Duke’s funeral very much due to the inclusion of his horses.

And I remember my granda’s funeral fondly. My other granda, who died about 5 months later, held my hand for the very last time.

Grandas can be the solid arm of support in times of trouble. And I have that in common with PW. I could have done anything with them by my side.

His funeral would have made him smile too. A very dodgy rendition of Lena Martell’s one day at a time would have had him helpless with laughter. I hope he didn’t mind me laughing through my tears.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

I don't blame the Royal Family for being taken by surprise by the public hysteria after Diana died. I was too. I felt as if I was living in a foreign country. Obviously I was very sad to think of two young boys losing their mother so suddenly but other than that I wasn't personally upset at all. I had no urge to go to the Palace or sign a book of condolence. I was absolutely mystified by the huge numbers leaving celllophane-wrapped flowers to rot outside the Palace. It felt like an utterly pointless thing to do - wasting money and creating a huge mess for Westminster Council to clear up and send to landfill, so environmentally not good either. As someone said upthread, why not donate to a charity close to her heart, of which there were several - clearing landmines, or supporting AIDS victims? That would have left a lasting legacy.

Thank goodness my husband felt exactly as I did and we could share our bemusement at what was happening. It was an enormous relief when Private Eye came out. It took me some time to track a copy down, as W.H. Smith refused to stock that issue but what a relief to find other people who were also not overcome with emotion. They had a feature placing side by side copy from the first editions of the Sunday papers, which came out before news of the death had broken, and copy from the hastily amended later editions. The first editions were all laying into Diana for associating with Dodi Al Fayed and his father. The later editions portrayed her as a saint. Dreadful hypocrisy, from the industry that pays the papparazzi and had made millions from endless gossip and photos about her.

Bit rich to blame the Queen and Prince Philip for their efforts to keep the boys out of the public eye when a section of the public itself, egged on by the media, were laying into the Royal Family for not doing all their grieving in public and on camera. Extremely distasteful.

Private Eye is always spot on, in my experience. .

derxa

@SenecaFallsRedux

I, too, was sad when Diana died. It was shocking. But to me, the public reaction, which I do understand was whipped up by the media, was similar to me of an experience I had when my mother died. A certain distant-ish family member just became overwrought and displayed that to all and sundry so that that several days of the most difficult time in my life were spent in detailed conversations about how to help this person. My brother and I were WTF, but at least we had each other and our spouses to focus on our needs.

It's a very strange phenomenon, I am sure there is a name for it, it was the magnitude of it when Diana died that was so shocking.

@SheldonesqueHasGotTheWeevils

I believe ancientgran and I hold a similar understanding of the term wake but most others seem to call the reception that. I don’t know what we call it - usually just mentioned in the paper as ‘refreshments’ and in person as ‘you’ll be coming back for a cuppy tea and a piece’

The pall bearers did a splendid job. Utterly splendid. Although like you, I think PP would have had a sly wry grin at anything untoward.

As would my granda. Things went a bit awry at his graveside. It was snowy and slippy and he went down at a bit of a jaunty angle.

Men were in wellies over the top of their Sunday best and the grip on them was questionable. The cold made the grip with their hands a bit dodgy too. Someone lost a bunnet.
A little swear was heard.

And my granda would have chuckled behind his hands all day long. The gasps followed by giggles would have been a story he would have loved to tell everyone.

He would, had he had the choice, been carried to his resting place by the Shires and Clydes that he worked in his younger years.

I believe he would have loved the Duke’s funeral very much due to the inclusion of his horses.

And I remember my granda’s funeral fondly. My other granda, who died about 5 months later, held my hand for the very last time.

Grandas can be the solid arm of support in times of trouble. And I have that in common with PW. I could have done anything with them by my side.

His funeral would have made him smile too. A very dodgy rendition of Lena Martell’s one day at a time would have had him helpless with laughter. I hope he didn’t mind me laughing through my tears.

I have a tear in my eye. You must be Scottish. Lena Martell - what a blast from the past.

@CassandraCross

That was his beloved sister. That he turned his back on and refused to help when she pleaded with him to help her.

The tacky exploitation of her at Althorp is a sight to behold.

Again, you can have no idea about the complexity of the nature of that sibling relationship. Diana frequently fell out with her family - she wasn't on speaking terms with her mother at the time she died, I think I'm right in saying, but they would have made up again in due course.

I am indeed derxa
Brought up on Lena and The Corries and Jimmy Shand.

And the Bay City Rollers. But that was my choice and it was a fight to get them on the radiogram

@CassandraCross

That was his beloved sister. That he turned his back on and refused to help when she pleaded with him to help her.

The tacky exploitation of her at Althorp is a sight to behold.

Diana was always falling in and out with her family. Charles Spencer may not be your favourite person but still he lost his sister. Human beings are complex. Mostly neither heroes nor villains.

@SheldonesqueHasGotTheWeevils

I am indeed derxa Brought up on Lena and The Corries and Jimmy Shand.

And the Bay City Rollers. But that was my choice and it was a fight to get them on the radiogram

And Sydney Devine. One singer one song.

And you can't say that Diana would have made up with her mother in due course either. Her brother turned his back on her at a crisis point in her life, to then wax lyrical about her at her funeral and lay the blame for her death, difficult life and the lack of support she had at the feet of everyone else whilst conveniently forgetting his own lack of support to her was somewhat hypocritical.

I was shocked when Diana died , I was only a little younger and had known people at school with me who had been at prep school with her. I also grew up near Althorp although so am not sure that most people know that she actually spent the early part of her childhood at Park House on the Sandringham Estate as her father was equerry to the Queen.

But I was bemused by the mass hysteria, it seemed hugely presumptuous and self indulgent and started this ridiculous idea of pining flowers to things when people die.

It was downright dangerous once people started throwing flowers onto the cars and some even stood on the motorway bridges and hurled them, it was like a collective loss of mind.

The most horrifying thing was the public wailing and screaming at the procession , I turned the sound down in the TV and can’t imagine how distressing it must have been in real life. And all for someone they didn’t even know .

Maggiesfarm unless you knew her personally I do think it was a bit bizarre to be extremely upset.

Happy times derxa. Happy times.

My dad was all Elvis, Glenn Campbell and the Charlies Pride and Rich.

We’ve all had our moments over time. Some not great. But we are fiercely loyal. Fall out. Fall back in. But there is always love there. Always. Complex. As you say.

Human beings certainly are complex, I've no doubt that Charles Spencer felt guilt and devastation at Diana's death. I still think he saw an opportunity for self aggrandisement and a chance to stick the knife into the Royal Family over the funeral and he took it.

I get that he was hurting. It would break me.

But I think I have to agree on that point. I found his speech uncomfortable. I didn’t think that was the place or time.

We would all do things better in life if we got a second shot. But we don’t. And to call out perceived failings on that day was wrong.

@SenecaFallsRedux

I, too, was sad when Diana died. It was shocking. But to me, the public reaction, which I do understand was whipped up by the media, was similar to me of an experience I had when my mother died. A certain distant-ish family member just became overwrought and displayed that to all and sundry so that that several days of the most difficult time in my life were spent in detailed conversations about how to help this person. My brother and I were WTF, but at least we had each other and our spouses to focus on our needs.

I once went to the funeral of a colleague who'd died from cancer in her 50s. It was very sad because her children were barely adult, and because she'd had cancer some years before, had treatment, gone into remission, and then sadly eventually fell ill again and this time it was terminal. A whole group of us who'd worked with her went because we wanted to show respect, but most of us had only known her from occasional work contacts, and had never met her family before. One colleague started sobbing almost as soon as we arrived and was inconsolable all the way through the service. I assumed it was stirring up bad memories for her of other losses. She wasn't making the whole funeral or grieving process all about her, though, as your family member seems to have done.