More News on Harry and Meghan

[Viviennemary]

Two little bits of news I read today. First the bells won't ring out at Westminster Abbey for Meghans birthday next month and she'll be devastated. No I don't think she'll even expect them to ring. And I had to smile at Bogart the dog was left behind in Canada because it didn't take to Harry. What else could she do. Hardly leave Harry behind. And it would have been a worry with a baby in the house too. She did the right thing here.

It's like Princess Anne and Diana. I don't think they had much in common. They weren't friends. I suppose they just sort of tolerated each other. Which most of us try to do if we've not got a lot in common with in laws.

Funny how we do know of several occasions where hospitality was extended to M by W and K. We know of not one occasion where it was reciprocated.
It will be interesting to see if the Cambridge’s ever go over to LA. I very much doubt they will.

All this will have caused irreparable damage to all the family relationships.

I can imagine that MM just didn't fit in.
It's sad, but it happens. How many ' I don't have any friends or school gate threads' run all the time on this forum about people feeling marginalized or left out of cliques?
She may have felt she could ' win them over' but it wasn't to be. Kate was criticized a lot at first but she did the ' never complain , never explain ' thing and people now seem to like her ( generally speaking)

We've all met people we don't click with or take to ; sometimes you have to grit your teeth and sometimes you just move on and accept you will never be ' best friends'.
A lot depends on your personality as how much you can do this. M and H obviously felt they couldn't do the fake ' we get on well' thing anymore and decided to bail out.
I can imagine that William and Kate felt it's all been left to them now , which might rankle a lot!

Harry: "Zara, have you considered that your Range Rover might be harmful for the planet? All those emissions. And what about your air travel? Yes, I know we borrowed a private jet to go to the climate change conference but the rules don't apply to activists like us. You're in a privileged position Zara and you need to set an example. Talking of privilege, Megan has been educating me about white privilege. Yes, I know her dad is white but..."

Zara: "Tee hee hee!"

I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to go shopping with either of my sister in laws. Especially if I lived cheek by jowl with them.

I've never been shopping with my inlaws , ever!
Strangely enough my two sils did not get along that well for years and tolerated each other : once the children grew up they got on much better and even go on holiday with each other as a foursome and socialize too these days! .
It can turn around , but people need to grow up a lot first I think or get to see the others point of view : something lacking in many many people!

I cannot imagine two people less likely to have anything in common than Meghan Markle and Zara Tindall!! I'm sad enough to have watched most documentaries about Meghan. She went on fishing trips with her dad and they used to go riding together. What happened to her in the meantime? Has she built up this woke humanitarian image that she can't break out of? Is she perfectly down to earth and everyone is being mean about her? That's what's so fascinating.

This shopping thing is just so petty.

What's the rule that says you have to automatically become best friends with your husbands partner?

DH is an only child so I've no direct comparison, but in a similar vein the wife of his best friend and I have nothing in common.

Don't get me wrong - if we are out in a group we chat cordially and there's no animosity, but in terms of personalities, interests, political leanings we are chalk and cheese. It wouldn't occur to either of us that we would arrange to spend time shopping (or anything else) solely in each other's company.

Also it just doesn't ring true given how gushy they were about Catherine in the engagement interview.

It all just smacks again of expecting the world and everyone in it to run around them, that they have to be front of stage in not just their own lives but everyone else's and in every capacity, all the time.

I've no idea why Catherine didn't ask Meghan shopping - she might have been in a rush, she didn't know Meghan wanted to go, she didn't want the additional publicity of them being photographed together or quite simply might have wanted an hour to herself.

You don't get to impose yourself on someone else's life.

A post from the Times about the book just popped up on my Facebook page. About 98% of people are completely against H&M judging by the comments. I know it's been asked before, but is public opinion different in the US? It will have to be if they're going to make any money.

Typo - husbands brothers partner of course.

I think part of the issue might be that M’s friendships with women seem to be extremely gushing, huggy and in your face. She’s very much an Instagram ‘likes’ type of person. Kate is a very private rather shy person. She’s spent her adult life being very careful who she trusts, very protective of William and conscious of what might be reported about her and the rest of the family. M has let it all hang out from day one. She talks a lot, emotes a lot, and like to give everyone her views , whether they want to hear them or not. They are complete and utter opposites in every conceivable way.

I have no real reason to believe this other than the little we know of Kate, but she is very shy and reserved and very nice and kind apparently. I'm pretty sure Kate has never taken to MM and even has an aversion to her. Remember MM wasn't invited to Pippa's wedding even though H was. That seemed notable to me given that H&M were definitely a serious marriage prospect at that time. Considering the money that was spent on that wedding, no way wouldn't there have been a H plus one invitation, except there wasn't...

@MissEliza

A post from the Times about the book just popped up on my Facebook page. About 98% of people are completely against H&M judging by the comments. I know it's been asked before, but is public opinion different in the US? It will have to be if they're going to make any money.

I'm not in the US but from what I've read it is a little different.

There's far less sense of them having betrayed the RF and HMQ specifically - so perhaps more sympathetic in that sense.

That said, there's also a degree of bemusement/skepticism in the sense of what's all this got to do with us? Why are they even relevant?

I'd be interested to hear from US posters but my take is that their profile isn't anywhere near as high/influential as H&M think it is - especially in the context of the pandemic and knock on economic fallout - people have got bigger issues to consider and being preached at by a couple (one of whom isn't a even American) living in "grace and favour" luxury isn't exactly winning friends.

I can see both sides of the shopping thing.

Kate would not have invited Meghan because if they were photographed shopping together it would have been seen as an "official royal stamp of approval" on their relationship. A bit like it was obvious Kate and William were serious when she went to see him graduate from Sandhurst. You have to be careful what impressed you give, and Kate is nothing if not careful.

Meghan on the other hand was probably stuck on her own in KP, waiting for Harry to home back from wherever, would have loved to go shopping but where? Which are the good shops? She doesn't know the area. Then she finds Kate has just been out on a spree. I would have felt hurt too.

K and W are very protective of their private life . Many of their trusted friends are people they have known since childhood eg Sophie Carter and the Van Cutsems . They are not going to open up easily to someone with a high social media presence, they would need to be absolutely sure that MM understood the need for discretion. If the stories about her sharing pictures of their children without permission are correct then most mothers would be wary.

Even if the story of M taking pictures of George is untrue, the Cambridge's are very private. William is said to have told stories to friends in the past to see if they turn up in the press.

If the shopping story is true, as soon as that turned up on BG in early 2017 (likely via Jessica and Elaine), and Kate and Will got wind of it that would be game over on getting closer to M. And word of the leak would reach Zara and Mike, Beatrice and any other royal who likes their privacy. Maybe once the engagement was announced they would try again but in a more cautious way. If Meghan wasn't welcomed with open arms, it was because she showed her true colours by leaking stories the minute she had anything of interest to leak.

Harry and Meghan were old enough to know better about what being 5/6th in line to throne/royal family was going to be about. She knew what it entailed and never intended to stay - that's ultimately the problem. RF is inherently hierarchical - they can't upstage/outdo or be more important than queen/charles/Kate and William. They are the direct line. Wasn't William right to warn Harry about her? Totally different background, divorced and pretensions to activism. Imagine being Kate - are you going to take this unknown into your confidence without first seeing what she was about. Like any family, you have to ingratiate yourself to in the inlaws somewhat - and if they're the RF, then you're literally curtsying to them. Harry will find out that far away Hollywood hill are indeed greener.

Meghan is a hard one to work out.
I felt they were a breath of fresh air at first and I was pleased that Harry had found someone as he always seemed a bit lonely after leaving the Army! He had a few breaks up too. She seemed perfect for him ( at first)
Then it all seemed to just go pear shaped and it was obvious that the whole wedding debacle and her dad being in the papers etc seemed to go along way to people being a bit skeptical about them.

Someone I know thinks he was 'set up ' from day one to just further her career and political leanings! It's a point of view I don't agree with myself, by the way , but many are not that sympathetic to either of them now.

Ok. Friends of friends of someone who went on a solo shopping trip just texted to explain the other side of the story and I can now EXCLUSIVELY reveal....Kate went shopping alone as she wanted to buy a Diptych candle as a welcome gift for Meghan.
She's shocked that she unwittingly gave offence but now understands why she never got a thank you letter. She was rather put out about that.

HTH

If Meghan wasn't welcomed with open arms, it was because she showed her true colours by leaking stories the minute she had anything of interest to leak.

This absolutely , one of the reasons Kate made it through us because both she and her family have absolutely kept their mouths shut. Even when she and William split up and the press were vile about ‘waits Katie’ and ‘doors to manual’ their kept their own counsel , stuck a smile on and rose above it.

@diddl

"The shipping incident is cultural. For sure."

Really?

So why didn't Meghan invite Kate if it was her culture to do so?

While I probably would have invited my own SIL to tag along with me Kate would of had to consider the paparazzi frenzy that would have occurred if they where both spotted shopping on Kensington High Street together.

Another Sunday Times article on the book, according to Twitter, has palace aides saying that Harry and Meghan 'refused to engage' with Thomas Markle during their relationship, and ignored advice to meet him before and after their engagement. It is thought that Meghan has not seen her father in person since she began dating Harry in 2016.

I have just read the actual article and seen it says they were going at the same time but Kate still went separately. Ouch. But I still think it would have been because to have gone together would have been seen as an endorsement.

I have absolutely nothing in common with my sister-in-law. She is very laddette-ish, extroverted and unprententious and I am very introverted, girly and enjoy the finer things in life (a nice way of calling myself a snob haha!). We are cordial to each other and make small talk but I absolutely hate being left alone with her as we have nothing to talk about and I hate awkward silences. I would be mortified if she asked me out socially because we are just so different from each other. We would never be in each other’s social circles if it wasn’t for the fact that I fell in love with her brother. I would never insult or blank her but I wouldnt go out of my way to include her in my private life, especially if it doesn’t include DH, and I would not expect her to include me in her private life unless it was an extended invitation to her brother.I imagine a lot of people feel like this with their sister-in-laws so I don’t really know what Meghan expected of Kate.

Does she also not consider that the two of them going out for a shopping trip could be a massive security breech? Kate can be discreet going out to the shops on her own with minimal security (as seen with taking the kids to the local Sainsbury’s etc, she can be very low key and looks like your average U.K. woman when in casual clothes and a hat) but I imagine it can’t just be a spur of the moment decision. I imagine both of them going out together would be a headache for security, especially with the public’s/press’s new found interest in H&M’s relationship. It would be a nightmare! Especially if they got caught up in an attack or something. Maybe Kate thought it would be easier for all concerned to just let Meghan get on with her own plans rather than having to rearrange her own plans and security to accommodate someone she barely knows.

Maybe Kate thought it would be easier for all concerned to just let Meghan get on with her own plans rather than having to rearrange her own plans and security to accommodate someone she barely knows.

If Kate was thinking anything on her way out to the shops, it was probably about what she was going to buy, how would she escape the security detail while she was buying sanpro, would she be left alone to browse the make-up counters, could she try on those shoes she saw online, what could she get her sister for a wedding present, etc. More or less the same things we all think about. If she saw Megan lurking around the corridors it wouldn't occur to invite her on that kind of outing. Plus, she probably wanted time to herself.

Dh the children and I were left off a party invite on purpose once! Everyone else was going along. We just had a nice movie night with our kids with and got on with it!
Sometimes your just not wanted for many reasons and have to learn that life doesn't always revolve around you as a person.
Security around any members of the royal family must be a huge operation and Kate can't just take off wherever she likes with whoever she likes , as we can! Maybe she just thought it would be inappropriate to go with her as a companion and the interest the press may have took about it.
It just looks bad with all the other things that's been said have happened etc.