Not sure if I’m ready for an older rescue cat

[Newcatmom]

Hi, looking for some sensible advice from cat people as I really don’t know what to do.

My gorgeous old cat died just under 3 years ago at the grand old age of 18. She was my soul cat and I still miss her terribly.

My issue is that I would like another cat (or 2) as I really miss having a furry friend but I don’t know if I am ready.

What’s making this worse is that I have seen a cat on a local rescue website whose owner died and he has been living in the cat rescue place for nearly 6 months. He is 12 and has diabetes but it’s breaking my heart that he is in the cat rescue when he’s an older cat and was obviously so well loved.

But there’s a bit of me that thinks I am not ready to get attached and to have another cat when I’m still crying over my gorgeous old cat and the chances are I won’t have him for long either. I’m an emotional wreck at the best of times (thanks peri) so I need some advice please oh wise cat people of mumsnet!

I don’t want you to talk me out of it or talk me in to it but I need realistic view points please. I’m currently listening to my head but my heart says something else….

I have adopted 3 older rescue cats. I have had them all longer now than the young rescue cat I first adopted who died at the grand old age of 3 from organ failure ( vet thought it was prob a genetic condition).
So any rescue cat comes with unknowns to be honest.
What i have found with my 3 older gents is that they give so much love and are such a joy to own. I know of course my oldest (I adopted him at 12 and he's now 16) may not have that long with me but I feel like I gave him a happy home and he has given me much happiness in return that it will be worth it when that sad day comes. He too was left unwanted at the rescue after his owner passed away, due to his age.
I think go with your heart but that's just me

We adopted a 12-year-old cat in January, having been catless for eight years (and having had all our previous cats from kittens). He belonged to the relative of a friend of a friend who had to go into a care home. It was a huge upheaval and no doubt very traumatic for him given his age, but he has settled really well.

Sadly, since we got him he has been diagnosed with heart disease and his prognosis is poor (so potential vet bills are obviously something to consider). I will miss him hugely when he leaves us as I have completely fallen in love with him, but I don't regret adopting him for a moment. He has brought so much joy into my life and given me so much trust, love and affection. The thought that he could have spent his last months in a rescue centre is heartbreaking, and I suspect he would have been overlooked due to his age (and illness once it became known). He is a sweet, gentle cat who was used to a quiet home, and I also think he would have struggled in the rescue centre environment.

Obviously, only you know what is right for you, but I can say from my experience that the rewards of adopting an older cat in need and giving them a lovely retirement are immense. Just seeing him growing in confidence, enjoying the garden and curled up contentedly makes me very happy.

I think it would be an expensive decision.

I always adopt older cats.

We have two older rescue cats (both 10yrs plus), have had kittens in the past but am a complete older cat convert - they make great companions as all they want to do all day is relax with us, their personality is generally more known and no crazy kitten behaviour! The only medical issue we’ve had (with both of them) is dental work they needed but otherwise fit and healthy. One of them had also been in a shelter for a while.

We always adopt older cats. We've had good luck and bad (one was adopted at 16 and lived another 3 years and one adopted at 11 only made it 5 months). However, I have never ever regretted it emotionally as they've been gorgeous and it makes my heart happy that they had love in those final months. That said, vets bills aren't cheap with things and that is something to consider. You can be lucky or unlucky with a kitten though! I'm just a sucker for a cuddly but disheveled oldie with a sob story...

We took on an older boy and had 6 very happy years with him. Since having children we have had kittens as I felt older cats might not adapt so well to children and the lack of peace and quiet that goes with a young household. As the children grow up, I’ll probably look to rehome older cats again.

I have only ever got old rescue cats. My first ever feline gentleman was 15 years old with diabetes, kidney issues etc. He survived until 23 years old and always had the attitude of a much younger cat. I have had others live until 21, 18 and 17 respectively.

The thing I love about older cats is how settled in their personality they seem to be. And so affectionate!

The first few older cats were just because I happened to fall in love with them at the rescue centre. But the others have been conscious decisions - as PP said, it is incredibly rewarding to know you are giving them a lovely retirement home.

This is Ian. Ian is 13 and has cost me a bomb in vet bills this year as he’s developed some sneaky tooth problems that he wouldn’t let the vet examine so we assumed he had a bowel condition. He also has CKD and is on a prescription diet.

Ian was 10 when we found him in a rescue 4 hours drive from us. He is FIV+ and has a heart murmur. We needed an FIV+ cat that would socialise well with our existing FIV+ cat so there wasn’t a huge amount of choice.

The rehoming lady cried when she read our email because he’d been with her 6 months and she couldn’t find a home for him. She couldn’t give him to us fast enough but his vet notes are lengthy…

When we discussed taking him home, I said to DH “will he break our hearts?” DH looked at me and said “but isn’t it so much sadder if we leave him in the rescue?”

DH is a very wise man. Ian is my soul cat. He cuddles when I’m sad, sits on my stomach when I have cramps and demands love and cuddles every hour of the day. Ian can’t get enough cuddles! It feels like he knows that he doesn’t have forever and that makes me sad and I think about it a lot. The vet thinks he genuinely spent 10 years living on the streets due to how tough he is and some of his battle scars.

There is absolutely no doubt that Ian will break my heart. I hope it’s a long time from now, but I also know it might not be. But the love that he gives us and knowing that he will be loved the way he so desperately wants for HIS forever will be what I remind myself of. The alternative is that I would never know the bond that you can have with an animal and Ian would never have the family he deserves.

If it’s “just” diabetes and it’s well managed the cat could potentially live for another 7 years or so. You just never know.

I always adopt older cats as I feel like they often get overlooked and I can’t stand them living their days in a pen in a rescue 😞 I’d rather them come to me and let them live out their days with me. You do have to be a little pragmatic about it and accept maybe they might not have long but you just have to feel that their time with you was better than they could have had otherwise.

My rescue oldie -

Ian is beautiful. What a lovely post ❤️

I cried at 'his forever'. This is why DH I'm not allowed to check rescues for more cats...

That's exactly it though. Ours who was only with us for 5 months got 5 months of being adored and the best life rather than being in a rescue pen or passing on the streets as he had been a stray. I console myself with that. DH and the kids say I never say his name without adding 'oh he was gorgeous'!

You have made Ian a very happy cat. 🥹🥰❤️🥲

@Sparrowsandbudgiesyour rescue oldie, looks like MY rescue oldie!!

Complete with shaved patch from having his kidneys scanned at a specialist vet who promptly diagnosed his appetite problem as toothache 🙈

Aw so gorgeous ❤️

And mine. Here inhaling the apparently gorgeous smell of my son's shoes!

The greatest experience of my life was adopting a 15 year old Norwegian Forest Cat who had been looked after for 8 months(!) by a local pet charity after his owner died. I had the cat (Rupert) for only 3.5 years and it was a complete surprise when he died - he hadn't been ill - in fact, he was playing with scrunched up bits of paper like a kitten the night before. I missed him hard for at least 3 years and still think very fondly of him and our time together - I got very attached to him and I'd had 4 other cats previously. The charity agreed to pay for his vets bills (as not a single person had been to see him to enquire about taking him because of his age) and he did have a few teeth out one year but that was all. I'd have another old cat in a heartbeat - in fact, I wouldn't have anything else.

We have my MIL’s ten-year-old cat here at the moment on a temp to permanent basis. (She’s sold her house and is living with other family until she buys something else.) I had real reservations because we lost our last cat at ten, and also because we have a three year old cat.

But I just couldn’t bear the idea of him being in a cattery for possibly months on end. He’s a nervous boy and there has been a lot of hissing between him and our cat, but he’s no longer hissing at me which is a breakthrough - and it’s early days. Louie is desperate to make friends!

First, sympathy. The first cat I adopted as an adult was my soul cat; she had a keen intuitive understanding of me and sometimes seemed almost telepathic. I was heartbroken when she died, and I waited more than two years before adopting another cat.

Cat #2 is not my soul cat. In some ways she's more like a roommate. But she came with a moving backstory, and it was moving for me to watch her unwind once she was settled in my home. She had been passed through a series of foster homes, and I think she truly believed that she would be spending the rest of her life in four-to-six-week placements. She was so relieved when she realized she would be staying with me. Cat #2 has also been a hit with the children in my life. If I invite a friend's seven-year-old over for two hours, she will entertain him for an hour and fifty minutes. She is a very good-natured cat.

What I've learned is that different cats bring different kinds of good into one's life. If you love cats, you should adopt another one, even if you're nervous about it. It will be different from last time, and that's okay.

Do it. My sweet old girl has brought us all so much joy.

I adopted my ragdoll when she was 11yo I love her so much 😊❤️ you don't have to worry about toilet training they won't chew your shoes and there happy to just curl up and nap in happy knowing she'll have a great kitty retirement before she passes away 💕

Oh goodness. Thank you all so much for taking the time and commenting - that’s really kind. Wasn’t expecting such a big response.

You’re all saying the things I’ve been thinking, so it has been good to hear it from other people.

I totally take on board the comments about expense. My old girl’s medical costs were eye watering in the last 4 years of her life with special food etc and I very much appreciate how lucky I was to be able to do so.

And that’s another reason I feel I should do it, we’ve got a lovely home, we know how to ‘cat’ and I know they’ll have a very happy kitty retirement.

Look at Louie's little face 😍 Also I have that duvet cover - you have just inspired me to dig it out!