Do your cats have alternative/parallel lives that only exist to you?

[Snooks1971]

Hear me out. So, we have always had cats, we are quite oldish. We indulge their cat whims.

Our current 2 rescues have evolved during the last 18 months, these are their parallel lives:

Cat 1: seems to like living here in the height of luxury, however, he is holding out to be further adopted by Elton John and becoming a god parent to one of Elton’s kids. He knows Liz Hurley. Says he has David Furnish’s phone number.

Cat 2 : He’s a lot smaller but he thinks he’s very masculine. He’s a member of a Heavy Metal band that are resting at the moment. His tail is bigger than Cat 1 and he knows it. His small sparkly toy cat balls are his offspring and he brings them to his food saucer.

Very aware we need to get out more!

@helplessbanana does he also have control of the weather?
So, when it’s raining at the back door he refuses to go out but immediately goes to the front door because the weather is different? No reasoning allowed.

Mine is both cynical and inventively sweary. Looks so sweet and delicate but has the language of a docker. No idea where she picked it up … 😬

She will be making an absolute fortune with those toe beans on show but…. It’s a girl cat’s world 😊

Oh absolutely, all three of them do that. They are then very cross with us when they discover that the weather on the other side of the house is equally wet.

This made me laugh out loud. I love this thread. Nice to see that my family are completely normal. 😹

@helplessbanana I’m fully aware that personal insults aren’t allowed on Mumsnet but I do think (kindly) on this occasion you need to realise that YABVVU for not predicting the weather front door/back door for your cats and setting their expectations accordingly. It is borderline abusive and your cats are well within their rights to ring The Cats Protection League on their Cat Phones. It is totally your fault and at best, you are naive.

HTH.

Other expectations are provided for in copious quantities, so they will have to lump it and snuggle up on their (usually my) bed and think themselves lucky they have a kitchen full of feline delicacies, and a living room floor full of sofas, cushions, laps, throws, blankets, a great long radiator and catnip-scented toys for them to enjoy, and three comfy bedrooms for them to have one each if they so choose.

Yah boo sucks to them, they can go right ahead and report me for my negligence in the January weather department if they want. See if I care. 😇

@helplessbanana good luck, you’re doing all the right things and exactly the stance I take too when my overlords threaten to report me to the Cat Authorities.
Solidarity to you!

My rescue girl is not actually a cat. She’s a witch who was turned into a cat. She only read up to chapter three of the book of How to be a Cat which is why she is rubbish at so many cat skills - such as balance, jumping and eating cat food.

You can't let them win ALL the time, can you? 😂

We had a beautiful tabby who ran the neighbourhood (was a bully). We used to give her a Russian accent and imagine her sitting on the garage roof, saying 'kill them' to her interiors, she would also be holding a cigarette holder. Her attitude was amazing. I miss her!