Signed off sick for pet grief

[MellowYellow552]

I'm a pet sitter. One of my furry clients was PTS last week, the day after I concluded my assignment. I'd looked after her for a few years and she had health issues but I noticed something wasn't right with her. Since then the family have been in deep pain. One of them has been signed off work because of reaction and the little boy has begun acting differently, whilst the mum is holding it all together. I lost my cat a few weeks ago and understand completely. People don't take this seriously enough ("it's just a bloody animal" kind of responses).

I'm going to start pet grief counselling training which I had thought of after losing my last cat but this has pushed me to it.

I always joke that I’ll need 6 months off when my dog goes… I say it’s a joke as I know it would never be allowed to happen but seriously!

When I had to have Boycat PTS I booked 2 days leave (the day of, and the next) even though I had only just started a new job. When I came back in the office my boss's boss emailed me to say that she was altering my leave form to say only 1 day leave would be taken from my allowance, and the other she was granting compassionate leave for. I love my organisation.

My line manager gave me 2 days compassionate leave when my puss had to be pts. 😢

Yeah, losing an animal these days is just as bad as losing a relative or parent, and the grief is real. I lost my cat whom I've had for 14 years and I only stayed working because I was at home and could take it easy.

I would always give time off if a team member loses a pet. Expecting someone to come in and work while experiencing raw, new grief, regardless of why, is cruel and unnecessary, and they won’t get any meaningful work done anyway!

The grief training sounds good. People are much more invested in their pets and more support from someone who understands is only a good thing.

Personally I work through grief as something to occupy my mind works better. Everyone is different though.

It's not. It might be hard, but it's not close family bereavement.

I've had more time off from losing pets than from family bereavement, I was at work when I found out my Dad died and I carried on working, when I lost one of my cats last year I was utterly devastated. I do understand why some people say losing people is worse but I very much think it depends on the person, people have very much let me down in life but my animals haven't.

I've recently lost my dog and my grief is overwhelming

I wasn't this sad when my mum died

I think pet grief can be really bad. I was heartbroken when my dog was PTS. I could hardly eat for two weeks, and I couldn’t talk without crying for ages.

Definitely absolutely not in my experience. I had the day my cat died off (she died in the morning and I didn’t feel I could work that day, public facing role). It was sad for a few weeks but no comparison to losing a parent.

Completely agree. I still get upset thinking about my one boy and he passed a few years ago. Some people don’t realise.
as much as i love my very tiny family he was my world. For a while he was the reason i had to get up in the morning. Some people aren’t close to family so pet grief would be worse than the loss of family.

My boss gave me 2 days compassionate leave when cat died, he sent me home the day before when she was dying. I then got some lovely flowers from another colleague. They were very understanding and said to take time out if I needed to.

I mean I barely held it together, so I was no use to anyone anyway.

I went to work four hours after my cat was PTS. I am a nurse and can't take time off without a very good reason. My colleagues were absolutely lonely though. And would actually have let me go home. But I was better with a distraction. Second time, I was at work and had to leave to the emergency very. As Cheddar had deteriorated. I had planned to go back. But was so shocked I couldn't go back. I don't think getting signed off is appropriate. Through I absolutely get how devastating it is.

In my last place of work before I retired the staff were such lovely people and all pet lovers. I went into work one morning directly from the vet after having my cat pts. They were all so kind and caring. I was shivering and tearful and they wrapped me in a blanket and made me a hot drink. They made sure I had a really quiet day and fielded people who wanted to see me. Every time I cried there was someone there to hold my hand. It must be dreadful to work with the ‘only a pet’ brigade.

A pet is the closest family or friend lots of people have.
If you had family you love you might not miss a pet. But if a pet is all someone has, then they lose everything they care about when the pet dies.

I’m sorry, I genuinely don’t get it. We had my 14 ye old dog pts earlier this year and I was back at work the next day. He was my shadow for 14 years, followed me everywhere but he was blind, deaf and senile. It bc was overwhelmingly the best thing for him. We were upset but it’s incomparable to losing a child.

we know when we get animals they will likely not outlive us. Losing a child is against the natural order of things, their life is cut short whereas an old pet has lived their life.

We were with him when he passed and brought him home.

No it isnt and I would be pretty insulted if someone tried to compare losing their pet to me losing a parent or relative.

I’ll be devastated when my cat dies. I have a fab DH and two DSs but he’s my soul-cat x

We had our girl pts in April, and I know this sounds absolutely awful and I am some sort of psychopath, but I cried 100 x more than I did when my dad died. She was my best wee chum, my sweetest little heart, and we had to make the decision for her in the absolute roaring grief of her being diagnosed with cancer out of the blue. I’m crying typing this. I was “lucky” that it happened during the Easter holidays when I was off work, but I absolutely could not have gone in and taught classes and been all happy and smile-y.

My manager was so kind, he bought me a beautiful orchid for her, and a colleague bought me a huge bunch of flowers. My manager also let me leave early to collect her ashes and to go and visit our new boy in foster care - he was an absolute star. I found the Blue Cross Facebook page very good, until I couldn’t cope with wall to wall dead pets and had to leave it after a few weeks.

I get that people love their pets and see them as part of the family and I would let a staff member have a day off if a pet died. But I don't think it's particularly healthy to be so obsessed with an animal that you can't cope when they go. They have a shorter life expectancy and it's the natural order of things. You can get another dog!

Pets give us unconditional positive regard in a way other relationships don’t.

I think it depends on the circumstances, I had to have my 17 year old cat pts, 4 months after my mum died. The difference was my mum had dementia and the illness robbed her of being her . As a result I cried much more when my cat died than my mum and it definitely affected me more.

I once was given leave by my manager after I had to put my elderly cat to sleep and the same week the stables where I was having my riding lessons also had to put to sleep the horse I usually had my lessons with.

I did not even ask, she just offered the leave!

'@Haroldwilson
It's not. It might be hard, but it's not close family bereavement.'

You really need to be more open minded and understand that many people don't have close friends or family and for them their pet is their only companion and it might even be the only thing that keeps them going and gets them out in the morning...

It is also very hards on kids to lose a loved pet.

Grief is grief no matter the cause. When you lose a sentient being you adore, it can hit hard!

For a lot of people with no family, their pet will be their best friend, their confidante, their solace and their reason for living. It’s natural that losing them may cause long lasting pain and difficulty functioning normally for a time.