Signed off sick for pet grief

[MellowYellow552]

I'm a pet sitter. One of my furry clients was PTS last week, the day after I concluded my assignment. I'd looked after her for a few years and she had health issues but I noticed something wasn't right with her. Since then the family have been in deep pain. One of them has been signed off work because of reaction and the little boy has begun acting differently, whilst the mum is holding it all together. I lost my cat a few weeks ago and understand completely. People don't take this seriously enough ("it's just a bloody animal" kind of responses).

I'm going to start pet grief counselling training which I had thought of after losing my last cat but this has pushed me to it.

@LoveSandbanks

Nobody here said either that losing a pet will be the absolute worst that could happen to them.

My father slammed my head down the door and gave me concussion. No, it's fair to say I didn't shed too many tears over him.

But he was still my father, albeit abusive, and he was still a human being.

Guess it boils down to whether you value the lives of animals more than humans.

What really stings is that I could commit the ultimate act of kindness in euthanising my beloved animals to spare them any further suffering. Yet I couldn't do the same thing for an exhausted, emaciated, suffering human being whose body was collapsing around her and in the end couldn't even control her eyes or breathing muscles.

Sometimes, humans really do have our priorities arse about face.

@SerafinasGoose it's individual though isn't it which is what people are saying

For me my mum dying was a relief from the Alzheimer's, and I had already grieved her years ago when I realised how abusive she was
But finding my beloved animal dead was traumatic and yes I grieved more because it was unexpected, I adored her and I thought we had many more years left

I prefer "smug".

You can be resilient and still have empathy for another person hurting after losing something so dear to them.

I'll stick to cold-hearted fuckers.

When my team member had to take her dog to be PTS I absolutely granted compassionate leave for the day. I also let her flex the rest of the week so she could take time away from her desk whenever she needed to. No hardship at all really to allow her some space to deal with something very difficult. I would hope the same would be extended to me.

My husband got compassionate leave and my children were given authorised absence from school when our beloved pet was PTS

I will never cease to be suprised by the awful lives some people must have lived.
To grieve more over an animal than a person is hideous - I will never be convinced otherwise and feel very very sorry for those of you who have not experienced love.
Because an animal can’t love you back, you anthropomorphise them to comfort yourselves but they will go to anyone with the food.
Again I’m very sorry and hope you find real love.

Talk about patronising 🙄

To be so judgmental of other people is hideous.
I feel very very sorry for those who have never experienced a deep bond with an animal.

I laughed at that. You sound really clueless.

What a load of patronising condescending shit! You wonder why some people prefer animals to most humans.

You are now also an expert on what animals feel too? Do you know anything about animals? Have you ever seen an animal grieve for another human or pet they've lived with? They aren't robots.

I'm sorry for your loss.

You put it very well, the connection with pets and the love it brings.

@OpalSquid maybe I do. You sound extraordinarily peculiar yourself though. 😂

@OpalSquid No, I think you're the one with issues. You don't seem like a very nice or compassionate person.

You clearly know nothing about animals and are just on the wind up.

Hope you are a nicer person in real life and you are just having a bad day.

Have a lovely evening 😘 xx

There's a lot of arseholes on this thread.
I live on my own with 2 cats and a dog, wfh and have loads of chronic health problems. From day to day they are who I spend time with, I see them more than any other living being, they've been there through awful times with my mental and physical health, coming to terms with childlessness and the end of a ltr. With the dog I do every walk every poo break, every game etc and she can only be left currently for very short periods of time so I have to base my life round her.
I love my family and have family like friends.. am very lucky that way. I also don't view my pets as children at all but they are a huge v consistent and present part of my life and I love them unconditionally and feel loved by them, they help so much with loneliness having structure and routine, l can't imagine how bereft I'll feel when I lose them and know that I'd not manage to just get up and work the next day and I'd hope there was some understanding that your own context will shape how difficult you find that loss.

I hope you find a real brain. Sweetheart. Xx

Losing a cat is not comparable to losing a parent

How can you say that?

When ever I lost any of my dogs it was 1000 times worse than losing any of my family members. I've lost my Dad when he was in his 50s, My Gran in her 70s and my nanna when she was late 80s.
It's took me years to come to terms with my past 2 dogs passing.
When ever a family member has died im over it within a day. Some family members i didn't even shed a tear and it didnt affect me in anyway what so ever.
Every one grief is diffrent.

Easily, when your parents mean less to you than your cat. If that doesn't apply to you, that's fine but don't question others and tell them they're wrong. Ffs.

The love of a cat or dog is very pure and complete. You just love each other and exchange affection and companionship, there's no complication. It has meant a huge amount to me when going through separations and other tough times. It's not necessarily a lesser love than you can have for or from a human; it's different. I wouldn't say I love my cats more than my kids, but most other people in my life I would grieve less than a cat. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and didn't really get love from my parents - I can totally understand a pet mattering more, and when my dad died it honestly affected me very little as he was abusive and we were estranged. You can't say losing a human is automatically worse than losing a pet - it depends.

Also for people who are housebound, isolated or lonely, a pet can be everything. And some ND people find it a lot easier to relate to animals than to other people.

Quite.

Imagine thinking you can decide what way another person is allowed to feel and not feel. It's actually quite laughable.

This board is usually a nice board, but some of the comments on this thread are truly horrible and people come across as such arseholes.

No one has the right to tell others how they should feel or grieve, or tell them they are wrong in feeling the way they do. Or tell them pets can't love back.

Most people in life have empathy and compassion.