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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

Needy rescue cat wants to be petted for hours

132 replies

Naranjo · 21/01/2022 21:12

I adopted a 4 year old cat 2 weeks ago. She was in the rescue for a month (came from a loving home with 3 other cats) and was very shy and nervous in the rescue.

Spent 1 week in hiding, made it to my lap after that.

Since then her neediness has been exhausting. I pet her for 20 minutes in the morning. I work from home so make it clear I won't engage with her while at the desk - she pushes her luck with this, around my ankles, stretching up at my knee, appearing on table behind me and miaows a lot but it's do-able. I take a 10 minute break every couple of hours and get on the couch to pet her - she knows that this is the sign I will pet her and comes running over.

It's the evening that's the problem - she wants to be petted for literally hours, however long I do it it's never enough. She lies on my chest and wants to put her face to mine and be cuddled like a baby. sometimes she will move on to my lap but as soon as i pick up an ipad or phone she is back on my chest and wanting me to gaze at her. She will take quick breaks to eat or use the litter but will hurry back. If I get up for any reason she yowls the house down. It only ends when I go to bed (I don't allow her upstairs in the evening).

Does the neediness die down? I'm not massively into watching TV and it's the only thing I can do when she's on me. I'm glad she's happy, but I'd like to have a bit more of a varied evening than telling her what a good girl she is and petting her! She doesn't play with toys with me, it's always the cuddling she wants. Getting another cat to keep her company isn't an option. She's a shorthair crossbreed but I think might have a bit of Burmese or something in her, she is very vocal in general.

OP posts:
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purpleme12 · 21/01/2022 21:13

Oh my god she sounds like an amazing cat!
I want her! ❤️❤️

ofwarren · 21/01/2022 21:14

No advice but just wanted to say that I'd love this 😬

Fluffycloudland77 · 21/01/2022 21:14

Have you tried a sling?

Branleuse · 21/01/2022 21:15

Get another cat to keep her company. Shes used to living with other cats. Maybe a rescue thats used to other cats or a kitten

savvy7 · 21/01/2022 21:16

Ditto. Many cats can be quite distant, she sounds perfect

Mumsnut · 21/01/2022 21:17

A heat pad that she just can't resist?

JetBlackSteed · 21/01/2022 21:19

You've only had her two weeks.
If she came from a house with multiple cats she's probably lonely!
And she sounds lovely!

Beamur · 21/01/2022 21:19

Oh my goodness. She loves you. Sounds like she's also super happy to be without other cats. My shy cat is much more affected when she's an only (have scuppered this by getting 2 more cats).
Will she be going outside once she's more settled?
I think it might reduce a bit if she has other interesting things going on around her. Try some different toys? My shy cat only likes bits of garden wire twisted up and the others switch between rattling mice and these ball things with trailing threads. Lose interest very fast in rod fishing toys. Tiring your cat out might encourage her to nap a bit and give you a break!

Kennykenkencat · 21/01/2022 21:20

I think she is telling you that she absolutely loves you and you are the best person in the world to her because you rescued her.

She sounds lovely.

LovedayCL · 21/01/2022 21:20

I suspect she’ll settle down. I have had ex shelter and foster cats this way, they usually remain very sociable, but the obsessive side of things calms down. Does she like toys or treats? You can get little puzzle toys that you can put treats in that might give her another outlet now and then. Perhaps a spot where you put a heated blanket or similar that she might like when she can’t be on you. That kind of thing.

trumpisagit · 21/01/2022 21:20

Yes, I agree she sounds fab.
My rescue cat is also fab, and needy, and on my lap now.
However I know people who have got rescue cats who have been too nervous to engage with them.
One friend got a purportedly child friendly rescue who wouldn't enter the house when they were at home, and went feral.
Your cat has possibly issues with abandonment and will probably calm down. Is she going to be an outdoor cat?
My cat does her neediness at other people's houses too, so shares her love.

thecatneuterer · 21/01/2022 21:23

@Fluffycloudland77

Have you tried a sling?
Oh I'd love to see that Grin

No advice except my first thought was she wants another one to keep her company. One of mine started out as feral and avoided me for 6 months - then suddenly decided she wasn't feral any more and would demand petting constantly, rather like this one. Then a new cat joined my cat gang and took a shine to her - and she to him. Now she ignores me again completely as she's too busy cuddling her new boy friend.

Why is another not possible?

MyQuietPlace · 21/01/2022 21:27

She might well have been taken away from her mother at too young an age (12 weeks is right) and so needs attention all the time. Could you get another- friendly - cat to keep her company?

emberplum · 21/01/2022 21:29

I wished my cats loved me the way your cat loves you! 😭

Santahasjoinedww · 21/01/2022 21:29

Yabu.
It is your destiny.
Accept your fate.
Congratulations on your new vocation.
Grin
Pic necessary

Or we send The Boys round.

TheSpottedZebra · 21/01/2022 21:32

I can't see her? Confused

Can she have a bed on your desk so she can see you at work?

Naranjo · 21/01/2022 21:34

Thanks for all the responses! She is a lovely cat, so sweet. I just don't want to dedicate 3 hours a night for the next 10 years to stroking her!

Some good ideas - heat mat, different toys are things I can try. Another cat, or a sling Shock no. She does play with her existing toys at night, when I've gone to bed.

She has always been a house cat but the rescue said I should encourage her out so I am going to fit a cat flap in a few weeks. I'm a bit worried about that though as she is a small girl, and there are a few toms that scrap over the territory of my garden.

OP posts:
Naranjo · 21/01/2022 21:35

And a pic!

Needy rescue cat wants to be petted for hours
OP posts:
purpleme12 · 21/01/2022 21:35

Oh my god I love her! ❤️❤️

Naranjo · 21/01/2022 21:35

And another, baby style

Needy rescue cat wants to be petted for hours
OP posts:
Naranjo · 21/01/2022 21:38

She already sits on the desk to watch me work, and then retires to her igloo for a nap. It's more the evenings that bother me.

I really don't want 2 cats, I worry enough about one!

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Castiron12 · 21/01/2022 21:39

This probably sounds absolutely bonkers, but my cat is super needy and cuddly - I think partly due to the fact I slept downstairs with him for the first few days so he associates me with comfort (which I love but also practically I didn’t have the heart sometimes to kick him off my lap , meaning I wasn’t managing to get dinner on until gone 9pm 😂)
So I bought a “cat hoodie”. It’s essentially a hoodie with a really large fluffy pouch (like a kangaroo pouch). He just sits in there of an evening and then I can just transport him around everywhere I go haha! I got it online, here is a link - www.amazon.co.uk/Unisex-Holder-Carrier-Kangaroo-Sweatshirt/dp/B08NDPQX3V/ref=asc_df_B08NDPQX3V/?hvlocphy=9045605&linkCode=df0&hvptwo&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=486201994311&hvpone&hvlocint&hvpos&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&hvtargid=pla-1072847804803&hvrand=8274018216117767186
And yes. I am 100% crazy cat lady lol. X

Santahasjoinedww · 21/01/2022 21:40

Maybe she needs more staff? Have you room for a lodger?

Naranjo · 21/01/2022 21:40

@MyQuietPlace

She might well have been taken away from her mother at too young an age (12 weeks is right) and so needs attention all the time. Could you get another- friendly - cat to keep her company?
That's possible, her previous owner also got her from a rescue, I'm not sure at what age (though I know she had had her at least 2 years when she gave her up).
OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 21/01/2022 21:40

Seal off your garden if there are toms about she will get picked on most likely and she will be even more locked onto you xx