Needy rescue cat wants to be petted for hours

[Naranjo]

I adopted a 4 year old cat 2 weeks ago. She was in the rescue for a month (came from a loving home with 3 other cats) and was very shy and nervous in the rescue.

Spent 1 week in hiding, made it to my lap after that.

Since then her neediness has been exhausting. I pet her for 20 minutes in the morning. I work from home so make it clear I won't engage with her while at the desk - she pushes her luck with this, around my ankles, stretching up at my knee, appearing on table behind me and miaows a lot but it's do-able. I take a 10 minute break every couple of hours and get on the couch to pet her - she knows that this is the sign I will pet her and comes running over.

It's the evening that's the problem - she wants to be petted for literally hours, however long I do it it's never enough. She lies on my chest and wants to put her face to mine and be cuddled like a baby. sometimes she will move on to my lap but as soon as i pick up an ipad or phone she is back on my chest and wanting me to gaze at her. She will take quick breaks to eat or use the litter but will hurry back. If I get up for any reason she yowls the house down. It only ends when I go to bed (I don't allow her upstairs in the evening).

Does the neediness die down? I'm not massively into watching TV and it's the only thing I can do when she's on me. I'm glad she's happy, but I'd like to have a bit more of a varied evening than telling her what a good girl she is and petting her! She doesn't play with toys with me, it's always the cuddling she wants. Getting another cat to keep her company isn't an option. She's a shorthair crossbreed but I think might have a bit of Burmese or something in her, she is very vocal in general.

What a lovely thread❤️ reminded me of a cat my dad had when I was young. It never came near anyone but my dad who often would be playing the piano with it draped around the back of his neck/shoulders like a scarf.

Ginger cats are more likely to be boys but female not rare as such - think maybe one in four are female.

Its really rare to have a male tortoiseshell though - a genetic anomaly, usually sterile I believe. One in thousands.

@Howareyouflower

When I rescued my first cat the woman told me that cats doing this are demonstrating their superiority over you, and that the way to deal with it is to refuse to have her on you when it's her choice, and to pick her up when it's your choice. It took about two weeks to stop my cat doing what yours does. She was the friendliest cat in the world, and became very easy to live with.

The superiority thing had occurred to me, especially when she nudges the ipad out of the way, stands on my chest and looks over me (in a very sweet way!). I am going to draw some stronger boundaries today, not least because I have to get stuff done.

The heartbeat toy idea is a great one too.

Ok, off downstairs to my sweetie now for the morning cuddles! (Already did her breakfast and litter earlier then nipped back to bed for a quick ipad session).

Thank you all for your comments and stories!

picture of my ginger girl... I heard they are ~10% of all ginger housecats

I'm a little bit envious. We have 2 rescue cats both were very nervous when we got them but one is now reasonably friendly. (Will sit on DDs lap regularly - has sat on my lap about twice) the other one, 6 years later still hates being stroked, (as in physically runs away so we cant) has never nudged my legs etc. Occassionally when she is sleeping, we pick her up for enforced hugs but she doesn't enjoy them. I live in hope that one day she might accept some love.

Mine was like this for the first ten days or so ... now I have to beg for the cuddles! I used to be able to pick him up, carry him like a baby, he'd sit on my lap, sit and sleep next to me and generally 'need' (and 'knead') me. Now I know when it's dinner time because I get head bumps or my desk ransacked and he sometimes sits near me. That's it :(

I’m sorry @YetAnotherSpartacus. You can never predict how cats are going to be.

I think all cars kniw they are superior beings, they don’t need to demonstrate it when they live it every day.

Thank you. He is still a sweetie just not the snuggle bunny I was hoping for!

I guess it means, from his perspective, that he feels secure and as if he now well and truly has his paws on under my table!

Turn the heating off 😼

You've had cats before. I can tell!

My first cat when I was 3 was a female ginger and white.
It wasn't until I was an adult I realised nearly all ginger cats are male.
I think you need to give your cat time OP, and also let her outside when she is settled.

Aww we have two toddlers cats, one of them is exactly like this. They were feral and found very very young in a local park. We adopted them when they were about 17/18 weeks old after being looked after in a cat foster placement.

The girl literally wants to sit on me constantly, she will snuggle her face into me, and get as close as possible to me. She’s dinky for her age and I put it down to her being abandoned when very young.

Her brother is a huge feisty anti social thing, who will only let us touch him on his terms.

Two are a lot easier than one, as when I working from home they just throw themselves up and down stairs chasing each other

Both my cats are needy but I have to admit I love it. Our old cat never sat on my knee once in her 18 years so to have 2 that can't get enough of us. Well i just love it. Our boy in particular adores me, he'll sit on my knee gazing up, slowly paw at mine face while dribbling everywhere! I work from home and they often both manage to squeeze on my knee. I've been wfh the majority of their lives so I do worry when it's time to go back to the office!

Aww they're beautiful ❤️

She sounds exactly like one of mine. She is very needy! She's always cuddling, making biscuits etc. she's a darling but it does get a bit wearing.

@Fluffycloudland77

Have you tried a sling?

I knew someone who did this!

So many beautiful cats! This is my nervous cat. She has the most incredible green eyes. The photo doesn't really do her justice. I'm still really awed that she trusts me enough to sleep on the sofa beside me (albeit, on the other end of the sofa). After we adopted her, she hid in a little kitten house for the first few days, only venturing out to eat and use her litter tray. After a week or two, she joined us in the sitting room but even then, she would sit on one of the armchairs, never on the sofa where DD and I sit. If we so much as took a step towards her, she would run off. I lifted her onto my lap one day for a cuddle and she hissed into my face . The first time she jumped up onto the sofa, I actually held my breath - I was so scared of frightening her away. Progress has been slow but very rewarding. I'd love to read her mind and see what goes through her little cat brain. And I would love to have a picture of my cats as kittens. They were already adult cats when we adopted them from the shelter. I'll share a photo of lapcat later - he's out for his daily ramble around the neighbourhood atm.

Thanks for all the responses! She is a lovely cat, so sweet. I just don't want to dedicate 3 hours a night for the next 10 years to stroking her!

YABVU!!

One of my photos disappeared

I am in love with your cat. What a beauty!!

Aww this is making me google my local rescues for a cat! I'm interested in the people with aloof cats as we had two gorgeous ginger cats growing up that were just like this. I thought it was just normal cat behavior. There were 6 of us in the house so no-one was overburdened though. To wake us up for school mum would open our bedroom doors and they would run in and sit on our heads and purr loudly until we got up. We did get them from at only 4 weeks as their mother was feral so that may have been why. Or maybe it's a ginger cat thing. I wonder if it will improve as the weather warms up? Mine were definitely more clingy when the weather was cold and more likely to sprawl out in a sunny spot in the summer. Maybe put some beds in spots where the sun shines through the window? Heated things are a great idea too. Turn the heating up?

My DH had a similar looking cat who was exactly the same but he loved it. The moment he sat down she was on his lap/chest and snuggling in. When he needed to go to the toilet she'd play dead if he tried to move her off. My favourite bit was when I used curl up with them she'd put her paws on my face and slowly push harder in an effort to make me go away. She was the best.

@LemonLimelight

Aww this is making me google my local rescues for a cat! I'm interested in the people with aloof cats as we had two gorgeous ginger cats growing up that were just like this. I thought it was just normal cat behavior. There were 6 of us in the house so no-one was overburdened though. To wake us up for school mum would open our bedroom doors and they would run in and sit on our heads and purr loudly until we got up. We did get them from at only 4 weeks as their mother was feral so that may have been why. Or maybe it's a ginger cat thing. I wonder if it will improve as the weather warms up? Mine were definitely more clingy when the weather was cold and more likely to sprawl out in a sunny spot in the summer. Maybe put some beds in spots where the sun shines through the window? Heated things are a great idea too. Turn the heating up?

You too can be emotionally abused in your own home by an animal with the brain the size of a walnut 😹

Ours comes to me but puts her back down with dh unless he has dreamies. She marches in at 9pm demanding dreamies.

She's been quite a lot better today - sitting on my lap all morning but with a lot less desperate head butting and attention seeking. I was clearly there as just a warm spot to sit on - when I got up to do stuff she went uncomplainingly to her igloo.

We've come to a compromise with the ipad as well - I can position it in a way that I have my left hand on her, and scroll with the right.

The constant yowelling/mrrrping/squeaking/miaowing as she's walking around I'm learning to start to ignore as I'm starting to realise that she just likes to broadcast everything she is up to, I don't have necessarily have to respond. And if it is aimed directly at me for attention I can also safely ignore if I'm working or not in a position to pet.

Will still be getting the heatpad and some toys as I think that will help.

I have a little laser machine - my little monster will run round a room for about 20 minutes after a laser dot. Tires her out