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Original poster

My husband's accidentally killed our cat [sad]

152 replies

sadspringday · 20/04/2020 11:32

Our cat is likely going to be put down today Sad.

She is quite an anxious kitty and had had a couple of bouts of FIC (feline idiopathic cystitis) which she can get when particularly stressed which she took metacam for. She got locked in a garage for a whole day last week which set off another episode so we called the vets who prescribed the metacam. Husband gets up earliest so he usually does the food in the morning and had been doing the medicine alongside it.

A few days later she doesn't have her breakfast- not normal but not totally strange (although she does love her food). That night she was upstairs without us knowing- we usually shut them in the kitchen at night to prevent 3am kitty goo demands! The fact that she hadn't woken us and had no interest in breakfast once we found her rung major alarm bells for me and I just knew she wasn't right..

We called the vet who said bring her in immediately and blood tests showed her kidneys to be not working so they had her in over the weekend on a drip and although she's in good spirits they've not recovered so she's got 24-48h left if we leave her (I'm of the opinion that we let her go today Sad )

Turns out husband had been massively overdosing her without realising as he read the box wrong.. It's so so hard not to be so angry at him and I know we're all human and make mistakes but... I'm just so sad that she's died because someone she trusted failed her...

I guess I'm posting here because I can't tell anyone IRL that this is why she's going to die- it's not fair on husband, he already feels terrible.

I'm so sad Sad

OP posts:
Fluffycloudland77 · 20/04/2020 12:56

When will the vets ring you today?.

Original poster
sadspringday · 20/04/2020 12:56

We just went over and had her put to sleep. It would only have been for our benefit to bring her home and she would have had the stress of journeys and new IVs and feeling poorly.

SadSadSad

OP posts:
Dogwithanovenmit · 20/04/2020 12:56

Sadspringday 💐 for you. What an awful situation.

User12879923378 · 20/04/2020 12:58

If the cat got given a really big overdose of medicine that has the potential to damage her kidneys then that's far more likely to be the immediate cause of death than pre-existing kidney disease, surely.

I'm really sorry, OP, and I feel desperately sorry for your husband too. Everyone makes silly mistakes sometimes and we're usually lucky that they don't have really serious consequences.

Fluffycloudland77 · 20/04/2020 12:58

Oh I’m so sorry. I was hoping she’d pull through somehow.

A lot of people don’t take their own medications correctly. It’s not a huge stretch to imagine you can get it wrong with a cat.

koshkatt · 20/04/2020 12:58

You are a better person than me OP as I could never forgive this.

I am sorry that your lost your lovely cat.

User12879923378 · 20/04/2020 12:58

Oh rotten timing of my post, OP, I'm so sorry Flowers

Wilmalovescake · 20/04/2020 12:59

Oh god. I’m so so SO sorry.

I would be fucking furious too; I think I’d have to self isolate for several days to avoid saying terrible things.

I’m so sorry.

koshkatt · 20/04/2020 12:59

Everyone makes silly mistakes

This is not what I would class 'silly'. Hmm

User12879923378 · 20/04/2020 13:00

By all means pick an argument with a stranger over semantics if it makes you feel better, random reader with no personal stake in this whatsoever

ArgumentativeAardvaark · 20/04/2020 13:00

they called back saying they've got metacam to pick up the same as last time

There you go- they knew that this cat’s owners had understood the dosing instructions last time. Does your husband really not have any past form for not being careful with things as important as this - is he under a lot of stress due to Coronavirus or something?

leli · 20/04/2020 13:04

Did your husband love the cat? Is he devastated? If he is I would forgive him. If he isn't I would be suspicious.

I am sorry you are so sad, it's a very tough situation. I love animals and I'd find it hard to forgive, though I suppose I'd try.

I8toys · 20/04/2020 13:05

So sorry for you and your family. I would be devastated but he's made a genuine mistake. He must feel absolutely dreadful.

Original poster
sadspringday · 20/04/2020 13:06

I was hoping she would improve too, she went in on Saturday and had fluids all weekend. They said she was eating and happy etc but her kidney function remained zero so there was nothing they could do.

I feel like I've felt all of the opinions posted on here in succession to be honest- I am definitely angry but also so sad. I don't think I'll trust him the same way again Sad

OP posts:
sage46 · 20/04/2020 13:06

Please don't be too hard on your husband, he will feel bad enough. He was acting on what he thought was for best.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 20/04/2020 13:06

I'm so sorry, I was also hoping she might pull through.

To the posters saying they couldn't forgive, blaming the OP's DH etc, back off, it's not helping anyone. This is real life, something the OP and her DH have to live with.

koshkatt · 20/04/2020 13:06

By all means pick an argument with a stranger over semantics if it makes you feel better

Neglectfully causing the death of an animal is not a 'silly mistake' however one looks at it. It's not about semantics.

Sammymommy · 20/04/2020 13:07

I am so sorry for you Flowers

I am quite the grudge holder so I would have a hard time just letting go. I guess it depends on how he reacts. If he feels horrible, blames himself and learns his lesson (to never give any animal, kid, himself or you any medication without checking the name and the dosage), then I suppose it will be easier to forgive him than if he shrugs it off and just blames lack of luck.

Let's be honnest here, we all do incredibly dumb things that leave us thinking "how can I have been so dumb, X could have happen". He has just been unlucky that X happened this time. Has he been more stressed because of the coronavirus situation?

It is the worst time to go through it, stuck at home together all day :( . I hope you're OK.

Thinkingabout1t · 20/04/2020 13:08

Sadspringday, I'm so sorry this has happened. Don't be angry with DH or yourself. If only we could all go back in time and undo our worst mistakes, but all we can do is be hyper-vigilant in future. Your kitty has had a wonderful life compared with most animals in the world, and your future pets are likely to be even happier.

NatashaGurdin · 20/04/2020 13:09

One of my cats is currently on Metacam because he has an eye ulcer (caused by his brother!) and a stress UTI, his dose is 5 on the syringe because he weighs just over 5kg. The syringe is marked in kg too so as long as you know the cat's weight you know what dose they need.

The bottle has 15ml in it so I suppose that is a standard size bottle for cats to be prescribed for one course? I've checked the box label too and it says "dose for 5kg once a day" which links to the syringe that comes in the box as the increments on it are in kg.

Having said that one of my previous cats had kidney failure almost overnight when her kidneys completely stopped working and there was nothing that could be done for her other than put her on a drip and keep her comfortable until I could get to the vet and be with her when she was put to sleep. She was in good spirits too when I got there. They were very clear that there was no option other than to let her die naturally in pain since her renal function was now non existent.

I suppose what I am saying is that it MAY be a cruel coincidence that the two things have happened at the same time, unless the vet has said that the two are connected.

User12879923378 · 20/04/2020 13:10

OK, @koshkatt, I'll make your day by saying it was a "stupid" mistake rather than a "silly" mistake. I still doubt that OP's husband meant to do it, of course I would be very angry and upset if I was the OP and I really doubt that this petty little exchange you've insisted on has helped them one tiny bit, but I'll split that hair for you if it makes you feel better.

LimitIsUp · 20/04/2020 13:12

Such a very sad situation. I expect your dh feels completely awful, but I understand why you might be angry at him. Try not to (as I am sure you are) express that anger at him. I have twice mistakenly squeezed the wrong ointment into my dogs eyes mistaking it for his eye drops in a similarly sized tube (for his eye infection) - not with the same consequences as your husband's mistake, but it shows how these things can happen.

So sorry Flowers

Veterinari · 20/04/2020 13:13

Give yourself time @sadspringday

It's an awful lot to take in and process and you'll be feeling a whole range of emotions. Don't put pressure on yourself to 'forgive' - it's natural to be angry.

Just try and hold on to the fact that this wasn't intentional, and she had a good life. Look after yourself Thanks

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 20/04/2020 13:14

koshkatt, I find your posts really insensitive. Do you have to make this about you and what you say you would do?

This is OP's misery, not yours, and do you think making her feel even worse about her husband is going to make it better? FFS.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 20/04/2020 13:15

User, you're more generous than I am.

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