My husband's accidentally killed our cat [sad]

[sadspringday]

Our cat is likely going to be put down today .

She is quite an anxious kitty and had had a couple of bouts of FIC (feline idiopathic cystitis) which she can get when particularly stressed which she took metacam for. She got locked in a garage for a whole day last week which set off another episode so we called the vets who prescribed the metacam. Husband gets up earliest so he usually does the food in the morning and had been doing the medicine alongside it.

A few days later she doesn't have her breakfast- not normal but not totally strange (although she does love her food). That night she was upstairs without us knowing- we usually shut them in the kitchen at night to prevent 3am kitty goo demands! The fact that she hadn't woken us and had no interest in breakfast once we found her rung major alarm bells for me and I just knew she wasn't right..

We called the vet who said bring her in immediately and blood tests showed her kidneys to be not working so they had her in over the weekend on a drip and although she's in good spirits they've not recovered so she's got 24-48h left if we leave her (I'm of the opinion that we let her go today )

Turns out husband had been massively overdosing her without realising as he read the box wrong.. It's so so hard not to be so angry at him and I know we're all human and make mistakes but... I'm just so sad that she's died because someone she trusted failed her...

I guess I'm posting here because I can't tell anyone IRL that this is why she's going to die- it's not fair on husband, he already feels terrible.

I'm so sad

I'm so sorry for all of you, even more so your husband who will be feeling this for a long time to come. If I'd done it I know that I'd never stop blaming myself.

It was an accident with terrible, terrible consequences.

It is sad but a tragic error

All you people laying into the OPs husband , back off . He must be devastated .

She’d had this medication before. Presumably you administered it on the previous occasions, and was it also you who would have hit the briefing from the vet nurse when it was first prescribed? A vet has said here that it is something that is usually explained because it’s not particularly straightforward, so if your husband wasn’t given that explanation by you I don’t think you can really blame him 100%. Yes, he failed to read the label correctly, so he’s not blameless, but it sounds more like a breakdown in communication between the two of you to be honest. Sorry about your cat.

Oh god he must be feeling so guilty

Im so sorry OP what an awful time for you all x

hit = got

I'm really sorry about your poor cat

But, I'm sorry. I can't really see how your husband could have been quite so stupid. He must have given the cat the full bottle without reading any instructions. Does he have a comprehension or literacy problem? Has he been as careless or irresponsible in other ways or is this a one off?

This is horrendous. I have no idea how anyone could be so careless with an animal's medication and life. It is not 'just' an accident, it is neglectful and has had the very worst consequences for this animal.

To try to shift blame to the vets is disgusting. I feel dreadfully sorry for your poor cat who has paid a horrible price.

I'm really sorry for your loss, OP. I would be devastated and would really struggle to not be furious with DH.

Many years ago DH accidently ran over our beloved cat. He was the best cat we have ever had, all the neighbours knew him and loved him. He would wait on the fence every night for us to come home in the car and as we pulled into the driveway would jump onto the bonnet of the car and stick his nose onto the windscreen.
This particular evening DH drove in at a slightly different angle the cat missed his footing and went under the wheels.
I couldn't cry too much as I realised how bad DH felt.
OP he will be really feeling dreadful please don't make him feel worse, it wasn't intended either from your DH's point of view or the vets.
Just a lot of unfortunate circumstances all coming together.
I really do know how you feel

I am so very very sorry OP.

I'm so sorry. We have had to give our dog metacam in the past, the vet usually explains the dosing quite carefully - maybe this step was missing if it was a remote consultation?

Do vent here, I'm sure your DH is feeling horribly guilty. When our last dog died, I'm pretty sure something DH had done contributed to it but I realised immediately I should never say anything to him about it as he was so cut up. It would have been one of those 'things you can never unsay' situations.

NSAiD's are quite nasty things in humans as well for kidney function i get thru quite a bit for artheritis and take Omazprole to counter that and to keep the gut sane!

Poor old man, don't be too harsh on him that is why in hospitals they get the dosage checked between two nursing staff.

He looks just like our old boy here your cat, he was 16 years old the other day not quite as good a "mouser" as he once was though!

I feel so sorry for you BUT I would be really angry with DH if I were you. Our cat is on Metacam at the moment due to a broken leg and the instructions on the box are really really clear plus the vet nurse explained the dosing carefully so I'm struggling to see how your DH could get it so wrong.

for you.

Did the vet not explain the dose?

Tbh I'm shocked that your husband cba to read it properly.

Especially as your cat had had it before-did he give it wrong then as well?

I can’t find the people to respond to- I have no “vendetta” against vets- what a ridiculous thing to say. I was trying to perhaps appropriation blame elsewhere than the husband IF it had been a labelling issue - which the explanation about mg per ml makes clear it could have been related to instead. Or IF the cat had a pre existing kidney condition that hadn’t been checked- again if that’s not standard procedure to check before prescribing, fair enough. I know we had a similar medication for our Guinea pig when she was dying and it was made clear how to dose etc. So if it was made clear to OP and she didn’t explain to her husband or if it was made clear to him and he didnt- then that’s a fault on their part. However if prescribing over the phone has meant explanation hasn’t been clear for dosage- then that’s also a fault. But not in a blame and claim manner- I mean that perhaps a number of smaller errors rather than “my husband has killed my cat”’way of thinking (when cat actually isn’t even dead!)

@sadspringday

I'm sorry about my posts below - the last thing you need on this thread is a bunfight, it's just frustrating when people blame vets for doing our job legally.

It's unfortunately one of those things and whilst guilt and grief will make you want to lash out, try not to. It's not intentional. It sounds like your kitty had a good life with you, and that's what matters - not the length of her life but that it was a happy one.

There was a nearly identical scenario on here the other day

How terribly sad . Did your DH not understand the vets dosing instructions. My DD needed iron for the first year after a premature birth. The instructions weren’t straightforward so we double and treble checked with the hospital to make sure we had understood exactly how much we needed to give. Your DH made a terrible mistake. If you have DC do not let him give them medication OP.

@Isadora2007
The only person being ridiculous, making enormous assumptions, and determined to apportion blame on this thread is you.
It's neither helpful nor supportive. Please stop.

Sorry for anyone who feels I am laying into the husband but the box quite clearly states the medication is 1.5mg/ml oral suspension for cats (or dogs), this is the description of the medication and not the dose. The prescribing label should say what the dose is depending on weight and the syringe shows the dose in kg's. A sad and tragic accident but I too would be extremely angry if my husband did not take the trouble to review the correct dose before administering. Sorry for your loss OP.

If you have DC do not let him give them medication OP

This.

I'm so sorry @sadspringday. Please take note of Vetinari's last post, she talks sense. I understand wanting to lash out but it won't help either of you, your husband must be beside himself.

If you had recent bloods done you should be able to find out if your cat had kidney disease, even early disease should show up.

It is possible that it was kidney problems that were causing the cystitis but early kidney disease is often discounted by vets, it was in our case, more than one vet surgery, it is often considered as just an age related thing and not taken note of until it is advanced enough to require a change of diet.

I would ask for the blood results, just to see if something was going on and set your mind at rest. It doesn't make it less painful and I am sorry this has happened to your cat.

I have been in a similar situation with a vet that gave metacam against my wishes.

Cosmo I feel the same as you. If you switch cat for child, would posters be urging forgiveness towards OPs DH?

It was a phone consultation that he had with the vet- he called to say what was happening- they called back saying they've got metacam to pick up the same as last time but there was little discussion beyond that. I don't blame the vets though- people shouldn't need to be told not to pick a number on the label and run with it!

I can't remember who dosed her last time, it was a while ago but it was me that went to the vets that time so I'd have had the dosage conversation. I suppose I assumed that everyone is as fastidious as me at looking at the leaflets and reading everything a dozen times....

I'm not punishing husband at all, he does feel awful and me being so upset is making him feel bad enough already.. It did take a day of me having to be in a separate room to him to make sure I didn't say anything I regretted- even though it's a mistake it's hard to forgive.