If, entirely hypothetically, your dh said you couldn’t get a cat

[HeffalumpsDaughter]

Circumstances are dh works away Monday-Friday. He does no housework so the feeding and cleaning of it wouldn’t be his problem. Dc1 is autistic and has been having a truly awful time with bullying lately. He has always wanted a cat as a friend and we regularly drive a 2.5 hour round trip so that dc can go and see my friends cat and have a chat with it. Dh has no allergies, just doesn’t like the idea of animals in the house. He also thinks it will mean his dm will no longer come and stay as she’s ‘allergic’ (she has basically kidnapped her neighbours cat though and it lives at her house half the week).

I’m very tempted to have a stray cat turn up on our doorstep that we simply can’t let out in the terrible weather. Would this make me an awful person? Dh and I are almost at separation stage as it is so this may well be the final nail in the coffin. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Even with the update I think the OP needs to forget about the cat and sort out her marriage one way or the other. There will always be cats available.

When we were courting my DH told me he was allergic to cats - I was so sad but accepted it. He got me a kitten as a wedding present and dear god was he putty in that cats paws. As others have said, cats have a scary ability to charm the doubters. Get the kitty - it may save your marriage.

Female, short hair, lighter coloured

?? I'd love to know the scientific evidence behind that.

I have heard that outdoor cats seem to cause fewer problems, as indoor cats tend to have drier skin due to central heating.

My dh is mildy allergic, and he does better with longer haired cat (and our current one is male, dark grey and fluffy!)