Tiny Dumped Kitten

[0nline]

The downside of rural Italian life.

Another sod decides the local English soft touch is the place to dump an unwanted kitten. I went to the loo and heard screaming from the back garden. It's far too small to have climbed over itself. At least this time it isn't in a plastic bag.

(former) Tiny Dumped Kittens 1-8 have been living with me for between 13-5 years. I cannot do 9 cats. I am already enough of a cat slave.

My vet (also my mate), has already messaged me saying I can put up a poster in her studio. Again. But my past posters did not work. Anybody good at heartstrings tugging text and design that can help me create a poster that will maximise my chances of finding this tiny scrap a good home ?

Our one local cat charity is permemntly packed to the rafters and in the past they have been determinedly guilt tripping when I have taken them dumpees. Like I am the meanest person ever if I don't want to be utterly overrun by cats. So that is a non starter. If I go there I'll come away convinced I deserve to go to hell if I don't keep it.

I need a shit hot "good home wanted" poster.

And for tiny kitten to stop looking at me with big, mournful eyes. With added little fluffy tail.

And for DS to stop trying to name it. Doesn't even look like an Emma. Might not even be a girl.

NotEmma has at least escaped the "drowned in a bucket" fate of so many tiny unwanted kittens here. Can anybody help me capitalise on her "less than averagely awful" luck and maximise her/his chances of being somebody's spoiled moggy for 20 contended, spoiled rotten years ?

I will go and try and take a picture to help the creative juices flow. But NotEmma is quite scared and is under the duvet, curled into DSS's armpit. And my iPad does not have a flash.

[lottieandmia]

She's adorable. Super cute.

[Kpo58]

Well at least your house is mouse free?

Can you bring her up wild and (after neutering) advertise her as an expert mouser for a stable yard?

[SailAwaySailAwaySailAway]

I want NotEmma and I have a heart of stone.

[QuestionableMouse]

Realistically, unless you chuck her back out, you're stuck with her for now at least. Can you reach out to other Brits in the area and see if anyone is looking?

[Tollygunge]

Haven't read the thread, but will a 9th one make any difference?!

[BillyButtfuck]

You're new permanent addition is a real cutie, OP

[silkpyjamasallday]

I don't even really like cats, but even I would be tempted to take in little Notemma. My mum had all manner of animals dumped in her garden as a child, kittens, ducklings, chickens and I always longed to be able to adopt an animal I had rescued, I did do this with my rabbit but not the same as a kitten... if only we lived in Italy

[Littlemissindependent]

Send her to me!!

[Awwlookatmybabyspider]

Oh look at that tiny kitten face. All new and squishy, and Those adorable triangly ears.
I'm sorry but I think she's made her mind up and is staying. .
I actually think she looks like an Emma.

[SoupDragon]

You know she's staying
Your family knows she's staying
We all know she's staying.

[0nline]

I stuck my nose out in my fifteen minute break to find DS working on DH.

I have a husband who needs propping up in the backbone department. I distinctly heard him say "well if you promise to take sole responsibility for it...."

Right. Just like he takes sole responsibility for hoovering his room. Which is a lot less work than a kitten.

NotEmma doesn't care about my ever increasing feline workload. Cos she/he has a shoelace and thinks it's great.

NotEmma can purr. She/he just did it in my ear. Where she/he was for close inspection for rear end to try and work out what he/she is. I can never sex small kittens. They all look the same.

So far zero progress made on the poster. DS pleading sudden inability to write in Italian due to "stress" of having cold, hard, mean mother and poor poor spoiled homeless kitten with deep seated emotional abandonment issues.

Not much chance of yanking on the heartstrings of other Brits. I am the only one for what appears to be a rather large radius. This is not exactly the sort of place that gets featured on "No Going Back". Good for work (have a monopoly). Less good for easy abandoned kitten placement thanks to copious amounts of culturally appropriate emotional blackmail.

I can't place NotEmma in Milan where I know loads of Brits are. She's a countryside cat. You should see her/him with that shoelace. Proper little hunter. The local rodents wouldn't stand a chance. If there were any left. Think my hoard have murdered them all.

Very hard to concentrate with her/him purring at me.

Shhh! NotMummy has to work to keep you in prawn kitten pate you demanding little bugger! Cos NotDaddy went and bought a shitload of the most expensive brand he could find. So that's most of today's earnings already spent even before they enter my purse.

Not sure if DH understands just how small a kitten's stomach is. There's enough here to feed several litters.

It will serve him right if NotEmma moves in and immediately develops Very Expensive Tastes.

We will also need a shoelace fund. He/she is close to disembowling this one.

Right. Back to work. Kittens to keep in the life of fecking Reilly while they are being fostered and NotAdopted.

[IncidentalAnarchist]

NotEmma is yours. Just give in and accept it graciously

[Chocolou]

That is one beautiful kittie. She looks so happy and at home with you op. One more won't make much difference.......

Keep her! Keep her! Keep her!!

[GeillisTheWitch]

Kittens to keep in the life of fecking Reilly while they are being fostered and NotAdopted

Yeah, good luck with that . I'd say NotEmma has her furry little paws right under the table. Even my spoilt fat twat cats don't get prawn pate.

[Libitina]

So, is your new cat, NotEmma, a girl then?

[ElizaDontlittle]

NotEmma sounds willing to earn her keep. If she is a he, I think he would look like an Emlyn. I'd love a furry purry kitten. Nothelping.

[BurnTheBlackSuit]

Can we have more pictures of NotEmma pleeeeeeeeease?

[dingit]

😍

[0nline]

Can we have more pictures of NotEmma pleeeeeeeeease?

Well since my next two students have decided they are to ill to come (aka were out at disco until wee hours and now have a sore head, I noted the 3am "last checked messages" when I Whatsapped them to confirm this morning) ... sure.

Here is NotEmma's rear end.

What is she/he ?

This is the best shot. She/he is very wriggly.

[RueDeDay]

Really hard to tell from that angle for me... Are you able to get a more 'straight on' photo?!

[RueDeDay]

Basic rule is two dots is a boy, a dot at the top and a vertical line at the bottom is a girl. However I have to say I always find it easier to sex kittens as litter groups for comparison purposes!!

[Supermagicsmile]

She's gorgeous. Keep her

[TheNiffler]

You've 8 cats, one more isn't going to be noticed

[0nline]

She's gorgeous. Keep her

Listen you horrible lot. She/he has only been here since dawn and I haven't even made a poster yet. Let alone put one up only for it be ignored.

You are supposed to be giving me amazingly persuasive "good home wanted" ideas. Not being the foot soldiers of the DS's Army Of Wanting Kitties Kept Without Even Trying Find Alternative Forever Family

I feel like bleeding King Canute, desperately trying to sweep back a tide of "awwww, kitty ! Kitty STAY FOREVER !"

Sods , the lot of you.

Stoppit.

Focus On Poster.

I have red, light blue, or fucking'orrible green poster card. A3 size. Which colour screams "adopt me ! I am cute and deffo won't vomit where you will step on it in the dark" more ?

This is a crap day.

My "go for dawn pee and return to bed" turned into a no going back to bed cat rescue.

Two students cancelled and I suspect the other two (lazy arsed teenage) will follow in last minute cancellations. Cos all their tests are over and they'd rather loll around in bed with their hangover than come here and tussle once more with the third conditional.

(repeat after me ..if I hadn't had a skinful last night, I wouldn't have fucked up the last three questions in the exercise my poor knackered teacher is trying to lug me through)

When I brushed my hair I was so tired I accidentally missed my head and brushed my eyeball instead. AND I can't play with my new Big Hair blow dryer that arrived yesterday, cos it might frighten the kitten. I need to be calm and not worried about scared kitties when learning to use it, cos it got stuck in my hair yesterday, was really hot and I couldn't find the off switch quick enough to avoid burning my scalp. Which still hurts.

My husband has gone and spent a fortune on a shit ton of the most expensive baby cat food he can lay his hands on.

My teenager has gone all goo-goo eyed over a kitty and his sensible nature has taken a hike for the day.

I am going to end up in tears when NotEmma leaves. Cos... I really like cats and am crap at keeping the feels at bay around them.

La bella vita my ARSE.

Speaking of arses. Since I have no students on the horizon I will now go and try and persuade NotEmma to let me take a better picture of hers. So we can know if she is she, or a he.

I predict a distinct lack of co-operation.

[ohfourfoxache]

Congratulations on your new kitten!

Could you really deny her a comfortable and loving home with you? (Sorry, not helpful!)