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The litter tray

Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Original poster

If your cat/s were human, what sort of person would they be?

44 replies

MissHooliesCardigan · 03/12/2015 07:47

My boy would be a handsome, bumbling very gentle slightly dim middle aged man. If he was married, he would be devoted to his wife.

OP posts:

villainousbroodmare · 03/12/2015 07:58

An intensely sweet and endearingly clumsy serial killer.

iloveeverykindofcat · 03/12/2015 08:04

Believe it or not I've had this conversation with my friends. Zara would be the illegitmate daughter of a beautiful but neurotic aristocrat in regency novel. Her mother is a prizewinning Abysinnian who got in an accidental mating with a tom cat. She has inherited her mothers' beauty and neurosis but has to make her way in the world because of her reduced status. Bibi (former stray) would be a charming rogue full of tricks, a tough survivor but with a heart of gold.

We may have thought about this way too much.

Flumplet · 03/12/2015 08:07

Blossom would be like peggy mitchell from eastenders. Lola is just me in the body of a cat. it's quite odd.

CoodleMoodle · 03/12/2015 08:24

My girl would be ridiculously beautiful but exceptionally stupid. She'd get by on her looks alone, but in a sweet, ditzy sort of way, not a stuck-up one (she's far too dense for anything mean).

And my boy would be a big bloke who loves his Mum. Goes round for tea twice a week, that sort of thing. If he ever left home! If not DM would still be ironing his shirts, packing his lunch for work, etc. Some of that is my Mum, though

This is making me miss my cats! (They live with DM.)

loraflora · 03/12/2015 23:02

She would be a rather plump woman with an Essex accent and comes over a bit grumpy at first but has a heart of gold, deep down. Doesn't take crap from anyone but when she's fond of you, you're left in no doubt about it.

SwearyInn · 03/12/2015 23:13

A teenage girl who has just read "God, are you still there? It's me, Margaret" and tells ALL her friends about this A-maz-ing book.

She would also know all the dance moves to Britney's "hit me baby one more time"

However she's quite quirky and secretly watches university challenge, but only gets 2 or 3 answers right.

She also wishes she was a trapeze artist.

MooseAndSquirrel · 03/12/2015 23:18

He'd be some sort of bad tempered hobo, shouting at passers by, probably throwing stones and what not!
My cat is a dick lol he has a perfectly lovely bed, which he's decided recently to ignore fully & only sleeps on or under the trampoline in the garden. He comes for a chat and an ear scatch when I pop out there but its just a cute ruse so he can bite my hands & attack my ankles when I walk away (although he's lovely to DD )

myotherusernameisbetter · 03/12/2015 23:19

My cat would be a total asshole :o

cozietoesie · 03/12/2015 23:30

....an accidental mating with a tom cat....

And her people bought that?

coffeeisnectar · 03/12/2015 23:37

Boy cat would be a middle aged divorcee who golfs and goes to the pub a lot. He would remain single for the rest of his life but would be very close to his mum.

Girl cat 1 would be a quiet, sweet, beautiful woman who was happy to be home with her family.

Girl cat 2 would be in prison.

iloveeverykindofcat · 04/12/2015 07:21

....an accidental mating with a tom cat....

Well yeah I'm sure in the event she wasn't complaining too much. But I wasn't about to say that to her rather precious owner! She was being reserved for a gentleman of her own station, and appropriate pedigree. (God it is like a regency novel, isn't it?) The tom came in through a window when she was on heat apparently.

MephistophelesApprentice · 04/12/2015 07:28

One would be a neurotic middle aged upper class woman, clutching pearls like a lifeline and vanishing to lie down at the tiniest upset. The other would be a mutton chopped curmudgeon in a worn tweed suit, who grumbles whenever his established routine is disrupted.

unimaginativename13 · 04/12/2015 07:34

My kitten would have been a serial killer psychopath.

Fluffycloudland77 · 04/12/2015 17:55

1980's football hooligan. Can of carling black label in one hand and two stanley knife blades with a 50p pence taped inbetween in the other.

But with a veneer of a sweet innocent boy. Lovely manners and all that. Possibly in the neighbourhood watch to keep the scum out of the street.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 04/12/2015 18:43

Mine would be an abusive boyfriend, pretending to be all lovely and then as soon as you feel honoured that he wants to spend time with you, he'll give you a swipe across the face and bugger off out for the night, getting into fights with all the other wannabe alpha males.

But you keep giving him another chance because he's so beautiful and when he shows you some affection it makes you feel special.

My cat as a human also has a serious Whiskas drug habit which may fuel his anger, as he's much more amenable when he's had a fix.

M48294Y · 04/12/2015 18:47

My cat would be a dog! He is the most loving, affectionate, needy, sociable creature you could imagine. He literally follows me around the house (yes, up to the toilet) and if ANYONE comes to the house - friend, family or plumber, he appears to say hello. I love him more than I could ever say.

Sparklingbrook · 04/12/2015 19:03

She would be a needy friend, always checking up on me and wanting to know what I am up to. Suffocating.
Friend would talk incessantly but I would not understand what they were wanting or trying to say.

DimlowChips · 04/12/2015 20:31

My girl would be an older, professional lady: very intelligent, lovely and proper. People would be shocked to discover that she had been a teenage delinquent with more than a few stories to tell, and probably a police record and a few tattoos to show for it

MissBattleaxe · 04/12/2015 20:35

I'd have a tramp, a clingy neurotic and a simpleton.

Hopelass · 04/12/2015 20:44

A git.
Even in cat form she's a git.
But I love her!

TheSpectreOfMorningtonCrescent · 04/12/2015 20:49

Smack would be one of those mansplaining, leg spreading blokes who expects his tea on the table now, woman! Then when fed would come and go "come ere darling,let's have a cuddle", then fall asleep drooling and snoring.
Billy is a slightly querulous old man, who likes his tea on time then have a nice long nap.

Issie339 · 04/12/2015 20:54

Girl cat would be a beautiful assassin, a kind of Bond girl type. She's a silver tabby, prolific hunter and knows she's just all round amazing and super gorgeous.

Boy cat would be 'Tim nice but dim'- upper class (pedigree), a huge guy and a tad chunky but the nicest, most harmless, loving fella you could ever meet...and rather stupid.

Vinorosso74 · 04/12/2015 20:59

Hmm mine would be an intelligent retired classy lady who is very tolerant of all she meets. She would also have been responsible for draining NHS resources in the last year.

MyBlackCat · 04/12/2015 21:01

Little black cat would be beautiful and fancied by all the boys, but she wouldn't know it. She'd be shy without many friends but would love her parents to the moon and back. She would be wary with strangers but if you can gain her trust she'd become your best friend

hiddenhome2 · 05/12/2015 08:29

Fat Cat would be a rather dim, but attractive, fashion conscious female. I call her my Precious Baby Fur Princess

If your cat/s were human, what sort of person would they be?

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