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The litter tray

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Original poster

WWYD? - kids' cruelty, old cat

128 replies

have4goneinsane · 20/06/2015 03:34

Sorry for the length - basically the question is "do we keep the cat?"

We have Jasper, a very old (14 or 15) cat who moved in with us about 18 months ago. He is getting doddery, has arthritis, no teeth and has taken to peeing in odd places - I fear he doesn't have more than a year or 2 left

He is much loved by the whole family and our house has been much calmer since he moved in (4 kids aged 4-12, older 3 have aspergers).

Jasper loves people and children in particular, he seems to thrive on being hauled around, dressed up by children of any age and if there are 15 children in the house he will be found in the middle of the crowd being petted and manfully ignoring the sausage that a toddler is shoving up his nose.

So, generally a good match.

Occasionally the kids have been unkind to him, he has been kicked, the boys thought it would be hilarious to pick him up by his tail once, things like that. On each occasion that I know of Jasper has run off a short distance and then got on with life. The kids have had a bollocking, consequences etc.

Today they excelled themselves by throwing him on the trampoline while one of them was on there (they admitted this afterwards) - Jasper not only ran, he went and hid under the house for 3/4hour and when he came out he was clearly still shaken.

I feel they have crossed a line in terms of cruelty (basically they did this as part of a threat/bet situation, knowing full-well that it was cruel). I have told them that we will seriously need to consider whether we find a new home for Jasper. The thing is, I am not sure if it is crueller to move such an old cat or to keep him. He is so trusting that I know he will be back for more maltreatment opportunities.

WWYD?

OP posts:

Chocolatewaterfalls · 20/06/2015 18:34

PG - actually my child has an ASD - I am reflecting how I would deal with this. My child would understand there are consequences to actions.

PolterGoose · 20/06/2015 18:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

girliefriend · 20/06/2015 18:50

Op you have been given a really hard time on this thread and the phrase 'don't judge until you have walked a mile in someones shoes' comes to mind...

I would rehome the cat as would find it too stressful to keep him. If its not possible to rehome I would seriously consider having him PTS as he sounds like he would not cope well in a shelter environment...

AmarettoSour · 20/06/2015 18:56

Your OP and subsequent posts make me feel ill, poor little cat

hoobypickypickyisborednow · 20/06/2015 19:00

Get the cat out of that environment. I rescue cats - if you need help, pm me. Whatever you do, don't rehome him via Gumtree or similar, don't have him killed and don't leave him remaining at home to be abused.

MNHQ

EmmanuelleMumsnet · 20/06/2015 19:07

Evening all,

Thanks for your reports about this thread.

We will delete posts that we feel break our Talk Guidelines - but please do continue to report any others that crop up. We'll be taking further action with posters as necessary.

Here, for anyone that needs reminding, is a link to our This Is My Child campaign and here are the myths we will continue to challenge.

catzpyjamas · 20/06/2015 19:08

OP, you could try Cats Protection and see if they know of anyone locally who could take Jasper?

www.cats.org.uk/?gclid=CIC9w5bunsYCFfMZtAodaA0ACQ

ragged · 20/06/2015 19:47

Have4,
I don't think you need to rehome the cat, not yet, not on what you've written.
That's why I was trying to suggest constructive parenting things to try.
:( that you've had so much criticism.
Good luck to all of you. x

Chocolatewaterfalls · 20/06/2015 21:17

Ragged I agree that there has been too much criticism, but this cat has been picked up by the tail before this incident. I think it might be easier for all (including the cat) to be rehomed

blankblink · 20/06/2015 21:43

I'd add another vote for rehoming the cat, please, urgently. He's only been with you for a comparatively short time, 18 months, out of his long life, so he will be able to adapt again to being somewhere he's loved and wanted and safe. I know it's hard, but if you take an overview and remove the emotion from your situation, you can't offer him those three things.

for you, please ignore all the unpleasantness and the suggestions that would work for NT kids, your situation is hard enough without that. Don't let it cloud your judgement of what is best for the elderly cat's needs.

peckforton · 21/06/2015 22:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sparklingbrook · 21/06/2015 22:37

cedricsneer · 21/06/2015 23:12

Umm peckforth , have you rtft? Not least the comment from emmanuellemumsnet? Suggest you follow her link...

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 22/06/2015 10:03

Peckforton, Cats Protection won't euthanise the cat unless it's ill. My local CP has had an older cat waiting for a home since last year. My friend volunteers with them and has confirmed they have a no kill policy.

Sparklingbrook · 22/06/2015 10:05

That's all completely true Pink. There have been a few elderly cats up for adoption with CP locally too.

AMcoffeeLover · 22/06/2015 15:33

Wow. give the kids away! Poor cat. Seriously, you're obviously not being hard enough on them of they're still doing it.
Im a nanny, was working for a vet last year. the DS pushed the old dog down the stairs for a laugh (intentionally carried him upstairs to push him down). So the mum made him gather up all the screens (iPad, iPod, IPhone, kindle fire, TV from room and all his play station/Wii games) then made him watch as she smashed them one at a time with a hammer. A year on and she hasn't replaced any of them.
Harsh but he's never touched an animal again.

PolterGoose · 22/06/2015 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

slippermaiden · 22/06/2015 15:51

I'd give them a serious talking to and ban certain favourite activities for a while. Not acceptable behaviour. I'm not au fait with Asd behaviours but this still isn't acceptable.

cedricsneer · 22/06/2015 15:55

Jesus, people, read the fucking thread (for those that don't get the acronym). Give the op a break. My kids are nt, but staggeringly, I can understand that kids with an asd may not respond to consequences the same way as mine or be able to empathise with animals (or understand the consequences of their behaviour) like mine.

Some can, some cant. The op has been very explicit about the circumstances around her dc and their asd. Give her a fucking break.

PolterGoose · 22/06/2015 16:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cedricsneer · 22/06/2015 16:52

Polter, I am consistently shocked on mn at the lack of empathy. I can't imagine how hurtful it must be to read some of that crap . I've reported a few posts on here and thankfully they have been removed because I find it offensive, so god knows how awful it must be for you and other parents of kids with an asd to read. Makes me

cedricsneer · 22/06/2015 16:52

Haha, so I posted twice.

PolterGoose · 22/06/2015 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wordsaremything · 22/06/2015 21:33

The poor creature and poor you. Contact cats' protection league immediately for urgent advice re re-homing . Have no more pets. You sound at breaking point and I'm sorry.

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