WWYD? - kids' cruelty, old cat

[have4goneinsane]

Sorry for the length - basically the question is "do we keep the cat?"

We have Jasper, a very old (14 or 15) cat who moved in with us about 18 months ago. He is getting doddery, has arthritis, no teeth and has taken to peeing in odd places - I fear he doesn't have more than a year or 2 left

He is much loved by the whole family and our house has been much calmer since he moved in (4 kids aged 4-12, older 3 have aspergers).

Jasper loves people and children in particular, he seems to thrive on being hauled around, dressed up by children of any age and if there are 15 children in the house he will be found in the middle of the crowd being petted and manfully ignoring the sausage that a toddler is shoving up his nose.

So, generally a good match.

Occasionally the kids have been unkind to him, he has been kicked, the boys thought it would be hilarious to pick him up by his tail once, things like that. On each occasion that I know of Jasper has run off a short distance and then got on with life. The kids have had a bollocking, consequences etc.

Today they excelled themselves by throwing him on the trampoline while one of them was on there (they admitted this afterwards) - Jasper not only ran, he went and hid under the house for 3/4hour and when he came out he was clearly still shaken.

I feel they have crossed a line in terms of cruelty (basically they did this as part of a threat/bet situation, knowing full-well that it was cruel). I have told them that we will seriously need to consider whether we find a new home for Jasper. The thing is, I am not sure if it is crueller to move such an old cat or to keep him. He is so trusting that I know he will be back for more maltreatment opportunities.

WWYD?

If he originally came from the neighbours, can he go back there? If not, you could just possibly try contacting the Cinnamon
Trust, who foster or re home animals belonging to elderly or terminally ill people, but might have a foster home willing to take him if his bills were paid, just possibly. Or try the Cats' Protection League (CPL), which foster and rehome and have branches nationally. Or ask in your local vet's. There may be someone elderly who has lost their pet and who doesn't want the commitment or expense of another, but who would be very happy to look after an older cat whose bills were paid. Or advertising elsewhere in your local community may find someone. I think it sounds as if finding somewhere else to live would be better for the cat and also relieve you of one stress. Good luck.

What sanctions are you imposing on the children just out of interest?

How lovely people are on this thread!

Yes your dc have behaved awfully, you know that but they are not 'little shits'. They are children that don't understand and it's not easy to 'make' them understand.

I have a dc with autism, he adores his pets (sometimes too much but would never hurt them). I realise that this makes me 'lucky'. He laughed when my mil passed away, he didn't understand or know how to deal with it, does that make him bad? No.

Maybe advertise in local papers etc stating that he loves dc but you'd like him to live out his final years in a stress free environment. Maybe offer to pay food and vet bills?

What a shitty situation for you to be in.

binspin My son has serious empathy/attachment issues, I would not bring an animal into our home for this reason, he would most likely hurt them, just the way it is for now until he's had more treatment. Yes, kids with issues don't understand/it's hard to make them etc, but that doesn't excuse exposing an animal to them. I don't leave him alone with much younger children either, it's OP's job as a parent to understand what her children are and aren't capable of.

Please don't advertise him in the local papers/Facebook/Gumtree - there are some very nasty people out there who will pretend they're going to give him a good home, then will use him as bait for fighting dogs. . Whatever else you do, do not do this.

Tbh I'm more appalled at the lack of empathy for the OP's situation on this thread than the actions of her dc. She is looking for advice not for her ASD children to be called 'little shits'. Disgusting. OP it sounds like you may have a solution with the family your vet knows of - I hope that works out. I'm sorry you've been so flamed on here.

You know what OP id leave the nasty vipers on this thread to it! come and post over on the SNs board, im sure there are many animal lover who will help you through this.

Let them boast how perfectly behaved their perfect fucking children are, to someone who gives a shit

I resent being called a nasty viper McFarts. There are some helpful posts on this thread.

Me too Sparkling.

It is possible to see it from all sides. Yes, I feel sorry for the cat, and for the children who may have to lose their pet. Plus for the OP who has to try and find a solution because it can't go on.

You do need to rehome the cat. Kicking a cat, throwing it and all that is disgusting behaviour, disgusting but if your children's disabilities means they are likely to do it again then you need to rehome the cat to a better family. My mum had to rehome our cat years ago because my younger brother was just a little too rough with it, nothing like your kids, but enough that the cat was unhappy.

Poor thing I hope it finds a better home.

Nixen, you are beneath contempt. Op I'm sorry about the shocking lack of empathy you have received.

You cant expect the children to know better though, it's not as simple as that.

We ought to remember these are someone's children we are discussing.

Blimey..clearly OP knows there is a problem and is undoubtedly upset about it and trying to think of a way to make the situation better. Her children have complex needs and she is struggling can we show her some support and compassion rather than criticism and name calling her children. Sorry OP

sparklingbrook rubbishmatra poltergoose

My apologise, i didnt word my ranty post very well. Yes indeed there has been some really useful posts on here. The my perfect kids/grand kids would never do anything like type posts, rattled me after a stressful shoe shopping trip.

I apologise to any helpful posters i may have offended, that wasnt my intention.

I would take a zero tolerance approach here. Cruelty is completely unacceptable.

If your children are as you say (and you would certainly know), then obviously there should be no pets in your household, now or in the future.

Unfortunately, because of the incontinence Jasper probably isn't a good candidate for rehoming, and that means that Jasper will most likely have to be pts.

There are some really horrible, nasty fuckers on this thread.

OP for you.

Your SN children are not disgusting or little shits.

Post on SN board and leave these cunts to their ranting.

Honestly - I would see if there is a mumsnetter who is close by - advertise on the litter tray section who will give this lovely cat a home.