Rehoming my spaniel - children devastated

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I recently made a very difficult decision to rehome my 5y spaniel. My life has changed dramatically in the past 5y and he is no longer getting what he needs. I’m a single parent to 2 DC ages 11y & 13y. I’ve changed careers having worked from home to shift work and now studying a degree on top. Despite my best efforts the poor dog is being left for long periods of time. I do have friends and a dog walker who take him out but I work 12 hour shifts and sometimes need to sleep either side of them.

This has made the dog more wired and anxious. He’s a typical spaniel and just wants to be with you all day. He’s also got more worried about children’s teenage friends coming and go and has starting to bark at them. Meaning it is stressful managing that too. I’m also not home all the time.

I spoke to Spaniel Aid who have have agreed to take him. I told my children tonight and they are both devastated. We’ve always had a dog. I am devastated too but feel utterly overwhelmed with everything on my plate.

Please give me some encouraging words.

Youve put the needs of the dog first. Which is all that is important

You’re doing the right thing OP, the hard thing but the right thing.

It sounds like you’re having a really tough time. 💐

You made the right decision for your dog. Your kids will grow up and look back realising this.

I had to re-home our spaniel cross a few years ago when life threw a curve ball. I won't lie, it was a really hard thing to do but it was absolutely the right thing to do at the time. I re-homed through the charity we had got him from and now, four years on, he's happy in his new home and is getting everything he needs, he's very loved and settled. I miss him hugely but I don't regret the decision I made at the time.

You've absolutely done the right thing. Sometimes the hardest thing for the humans is what is best for the dog.

In case it helps to offer some reassurance, my mum adopted a spaniel through SA. They were incredibly diligent in making sure that she was providing a brilliant home - the right home, for the right dog - and that she could devote herself to that dog. They take re-homing so seriously and do such a good job. They really are one of the best breed specific rescues (IMO rescue in general) in the UK when it comes to re-homing dogs.

My parents gave my dog away as a child and I’ve never forgiven them . It may or may not be right for the dog but it’s not for the children . They may be home after school etc so why cant you make it work .

I’m upset for you all but you are doing a brave and kind thing for your boy.
Sounds like you are working hard for your DC and your future.
He won’t understand the changes. We have Spaniels, both Velcro dogs.
Spaniel aid will hopefully match him to a family or someone who can give him the time and attention you know he deserves. Be kind to yourself.

This. You’ve absolutely done the right thing for your dog and also now removed what must have been a huge source of stress for you.

The rescue wouldn't have agreed to take him unless they were completely sure that it was in his best interests.

It's natural for you all to be devastated but the children are old enough to understand that ultimately, it's best for the dog. You are all doing a kind and loving thing for him and he'll have a happy life, not an increasingly anxious and frustrated one.

I do think you've probably done the right thing, but I'd have been devastated as a child if this had happened to me. Are your kids really devoted to the dog? Do they walk him regularly and play with him? Or is he just something there in the background that they are suddenly realising they will miss?

I'd have had a conversation with them both first, and tried to come up with more solutions - ie them doing more of the doggy care if they didn't want him to be re-homed. It feels wrong if they had no say in the matter until it was a done deal.

Dogs adjust quickly. I expect you will be sad for longer than he is. Once he's settled in a new home, it won't take him long at all to bond with his new owners. It's very hard but you're doing the absolute right thing for him. He can have potentially 8 more years of happy life with his new owner, getting all the stimulation and love he needs!

I really want to say it's fine and your children will understand, but i'm still sad about my childhood dog that was rehomed. I do understand my parents reasons as an adult, but it's not an easy thing to get over and I wish they had worked harder to keep him.

Is there any other option? Have you looked at doggy daycare instead of a dog walker? Could the children help more with the dog?

please ignore the "can't you make it work for the kids" posters. Your dog deserves better and you are doing the right thing.

The children need to step up and help then. But they won’t. The OP is doing the right thing for the dog. The children are not. They can be upset but if they’d stepped up more and helped care for the dog the OP wouldn’t have to rehouse it. As an adult looking back. surely you can see that you didn’t do what was needed to truly care for your dog?

This 100%.

And it's not just about the children 'stepping up' and OP looking at alternative options. The dog is beginning to display some pretty serious issues;

He’s also got more worried about children’s teenage friends coming and go and has starting to bark at them.

Children are not equipped to manage that sort of behavioural issue OR respond appropriately to it. All the posters ignoring this are so impossibly naive because we all know what happens next with this behaviour: the barking escalates to a bite.

Oh I really feel for you.
I hope your dog finds a lovely home where they get all the time and attention they need to be the best doggie they can be.

I am sorry for you all. But your dog needs what is best for them.

We rehomed our spaniel mix earlier this year. My youngest cried and my eldest said she’d never forgive me. They’d honestly moved on within a few days. You’re doing the right thing for all of you even though it’s tough ❤️

How on earth do you know what the situation is in anyone’s house .

Thanks for all comments.

I work shifts so doggy day care isn’t an option. I leave before and after they close. I also work nights so part of the problem is sleeping the next day.

Ive tried getting the kids involved more but they are at they Dads 50% of the time and have a lot of clubs and social commitments.

i have a guy who walks him twice a week for me via Borrow my Doggy. But it’s more how much he’s left alone and the behaviour around the teenager that I’m concerned about.

Yes and that why I went to them. I absolutely want the best for him and they will find a home where he’s not left alone.

Yes my parents did the same when I was 14. Utterly broke my heart.

When you get a dog, you are taking on a commitment. You wouldn't rehome your kids would you? I just hate how everything is like 'you're so brave' and all that crap. No, you've had that poor dog for 5 years. No wonder your kids are devastated. You make it work or you pay for help, he's part of your family.

Honesty, just how bloody awful.

I get sick to death of my dog all the time and I know what it's like not being able to give them teh time they'd ideally like but I just think I'm sure my dog would prefer anything over being rehomed. We do our best and that'll be good enough.

Your borrow doggy guy? Would he help more if he knew? Did you ask the kids to step up and maybe drop some social stuff to help. They are old enough to make decisions like that? I’m sure you’ve thought of everything, but Im curious is your post is asking for advice on alternatives or just to ask for people to say it’s ok?

I strongly disagree with this. When you take on an animal you should think long and hard to make sure that you can provide a good home through that animals life. However, sometimes life happens and throws something at you that means you can no longer provide the animal with what they need. It is the kind and responsible decision in those circumstances to say I can't meet the animals needs and it's better for that animal to be rehomed. A dog will adapt and be happy in their new home (I have worked with rescue dogs). The OP sounds like she's tried but her dog is unhappy and beginning to show some concerning behaviours. In my opinion the OP is doing the right thing by rehoming her dog and she's being responsible by doing it via a well-regarded rescue.

Like I said it’s not that he needs more exercise it’s the long periods of time he is on his own. For example I need to sleep in the day before a night shift, I’m then out the house overnight and then I sleep the next day. He gets walked either side and someone comes in to feed him and put him to bed.

When I got him 5y ago I was in a relationship and worked from home. I’m now a single parent and work in the NHS. I’m studying to better my career for my children and our future as well as meeting my own aspirations.

i come from a family of spaniel owners. I knew what I was getting in to but life has changed beyond recognition…hence the situation I face now.

of course I could keep him but that would be selfish on my part.