How can I handle my husband's refusal to get another dog?

[VeterinaryCareAssistant]

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can deal with my husband not wanting to get another dog?

Back story: We had four dogs and now we are down to just two - both elderly. I am desperate to get another dog but my husband says no. I'm not asking for a puppy necessarily, I'd just like another dog. I'm "broody" in the way that women are when they're desperate for a baby.
His reasons are mainly that I work and he says he doesn't want to look after them when I'm at work, and I do understand that but I need to go to work to cover my half of the bills. I work 24 hours a week and I do all the dog feeds and baths and walks bar 2 walks per week which my husband does.

I've offered to try and change my hours to accommodate the dogs even more and possibly pick up those two walks. I decline events with friends quite often, and even see my grandchildren less because of the dogs so it's not like I'm swanning around and leaving him with the grunt work.

I'm just feeling so sad that my current dogs will not be with us for too long and I just can't envisage a future without dogs. Dogs are in my blood.

Two dogs would be two too many for me. Why should he even have to have any dogs if he doesn't want go. He probably should have put his foot down long ago.

Well I did "accidentally" adopt one so I can, but I think he'd lose his shit if I did it again 😆

He just wants to be at a fishing lake tbh.

But nobody would accuse a man of neglecting grandchildren by doing his hobby.

I am surrounded by dogs every day as I work in a vets.
I think this actually makes it worse because I have opportunities to take dogs home quite often, as sometimes we have dogs signed over to us.

They literally would.

But I'm shocked that you decline time with your grandchildren because of the dogs. They must feel really valued...

Well maybe I should have put my foot down and said no to six fish tanks dotted throughout the downstairs, but here I am surrounded by fish.

And some of the fish lights hurt my eyes but hey ho.

And rightfully so, it would be incredibly disrespectful to bring another dog in when he’s said he doesn’t want to add a third dog.

Doing that once is bad enough, twice would be ridiculous.

I decline events with friends quite often, and even see my grandchildren less because of the dogs

You prioritise your dogs over your grandchildren? I don’t know many people with 2 dogs. I don’t know anyone with 3.

For gods sake, this thread would have people believe that those with multiple dogs, like me, are selfish, family hating weirdos. With neighbours! We are absolutely not. My family is fine, fully functioning and intact! DC haven’t been “damaged” by dogs, on the contrary, they now choose to have their own and when we all get together, which is often, all the dogs come. And the grandchildren are fine and will no doubt have dogs of their own when they are old enough.

You respect your DH’s wish.

It seems like you’ve pushed all the people in your life way down in your priorities as it is - maybe don’t push them down even further.

You are being unreasonable, OP. My friend's dog has just had puppies and we went to see them today - they were absolutely beautiful and so gorgeous (as is mummy dog!)
But I work out of the house as does my husband so obviously, as much as I would love to have a dog, it simply isn't possible.
First thing I'm going to do when I retire though!

It’s interesting you talk about caring for dc and sacrificing, so now you want more dogs to care and sacrifice for, to make up for it
I don’t think you should get another dog yet because i don’t think it would be nice for your elderly two.
my in laws dont see GC as much for the same reason, I think it’s really damaged DHs and DSILs relationship with them, and of course the DGCs, though they do love them. We do recognise that’s their choice though ofc but they’ve found it hurtful anyway.
however to answer your actual question, if he doesn’t want to look after them or do dog walks, can you get a dog walker? Or do doggy day care with the new one, so it’s no responsibility on him? If he’s happy having dogs in the house just not having responsibility the obvious answer is to outsource the responsibility?

I decline events with dogs when I can, I want to see people not their barking, yapping drooling dogs, however 'friendly' they are.

That's such a shame but hopefully you'd quickly get used to life without him and he can enjoy his fish alone!

Erm.....OK.

Not sure why you're reading threads in 'The Doghouse' if you dislike dogs.

How do you think your elderly dogs would deal with another younger dog?

It's clearly going to be a hill you will die on for you so you might as well tell him clearly that you can't be happy without lots of dogs and aren't willing to try. He can do what he wants with that. I do think you should use a dog walker when you're at work and this is your own crazy deal you have going on.

Two dogs is plenty. You’re acting as if you have none. Try to respect someone else’s preferences and enjoy what you have.

You get a grip and realise that many people can’t have everything they want and can’t fit in everything when they work. Your DH is 100% correct.

I don't get the hate the OP is getting for seeing her grandkids less because of the dogs. Surely that's normal? Every yes involves a no.

The dogs and grandkids don't mix very well so she has to go to theirs. They cannot drop into hers. And on days out to Peppa pig world or the acquarium etc the dog obviously cannot come anyway. So logically, she sees her DGC less than if she didnt have the dogs.

Isnt that the case for all of us? I'd probably be out visiting friends all over the country more if i didnt have my dog. But i do have my dog so i am not. My sister doesnt want dogs in her house but she lives an hour away, and I cant afford or even want to sling my dog to a sitter so often, so I see them less. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I think ehat the OP was saying when she mentioned it, is that she sees grandkids less because of the above but because she loves the dogs so much she doesnt mind or resent this at all. It was an illustrator as to how much she loves dogs.