How can I handle my husband's refusal to get another dog?

[VeterinaryCareAssistant]

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can deal with my husband not wanting to get another dog?

Back story: We had four dogs and now we are down to just two - both elderly. I am desperate to get another dog but my husband says no. I'm not asking for a puppy necessarily, I'd just like another dog. I'm "broody" in the way that women are when they're desperate for a baby.
His reasons are mainly that I work and he says he doesn't want to look after them when I'm at work, and I do understand that but I need to go to work to cover my half of the bills. I work 24 hours a week and I do all the dog feeds and baths and walks bar 2 walks per week which my husband does.

I've offered to try and change my hours to accommodate the dogs even more and possibly pick up those two walks. I decline events with friends quite often, and even see my grandchildren less because of the dogs so it's not like I'm swanning around and leaving him with the grunt work.

I'm just feeling so sad that my current dogs will not be with us for too long and I just can't envisage a future without dogs. Dogs are in my blood.

No special breeds, just a crossbreed and a rescue pointer. I don't do showing or agility either. I do manage to leave them with my son to go to Crufts every year though.

And yes, it's the same broodiness. I'm just batshit over dogs.

Is that why DH doesn't want you to have another dog. Maybe he thinks he'll see even less of his DGC.

I don't neglect my grandchildren. They have perfectly good parents to raise them. I see them when I can and we have fun times.

To answer your question - you handle it by accepting that you will devote yourself to the 2 dogs you already have

We never made a formal agreement but he knew I had dogs prior to even meeting him. Then when those dogs died of old age, after a couple of years gap, we got two puppies and then added 2 rescue dogs as well. So I thought dogs would always be a part of our lives.

I’m so sorry it must be awful for you. People commenting regarding your children or grandchildren are unreasonable. We have animals and they will always come before I worry about seeing anyone . If my animals need me I am there. I totally get you. 🌺

No means no when it comes to pet ownership. If he doesn't want more pets then respect that. If you really can't cope with insufficient dogs then divorce your DH and focus on your canine loves instead.

in human relationships you have to listen to the other person's point of view and cannot over-rule their will.

Being adored by a dog who thinks you are god, is a lot less work, and gives you a more immediate satisfaction reward, but it's shallower.

However investing in human relationships can be ultimately more satisfying. If your dog relationships are more valuable to you, you may have picked the wrong humans.

And now he's had enough. Like with children, you either come to terms with it or seriously consider ending your marriage.
After all, you can't 'accidentally' buy a dog!

Have you considered BorrowMyDoggy? A part time dog that belongs to someone else?

You seem really sad about this OP and for that big hugs. DH might change his mind but for now you should let it go. Having replacements doesn’t diminish the loss of a family pet. You also seem to prefer dogs to humans. That might be upsetting for the family and DH too. Pets can be a tie and DH maybe wanting some time without all the work. No compromise here. As someone said with pets/children, if one strongly opposed that’s that.

You've just said they're not allowed to come to your house. Maybe your husband would quite like to having his grandkids visit.

You don't "handle" your husband. You respect his preference. No dog should be brought into a household where they aren't fully wanted. And no person should be required to share their house with a dog they don't want.

That's deeply frustrating for you. But it is fair because you both have the same veto. Some decisions just have to be unanimous

I also think that if your husband says no, then you don't get another dog. The ways I got to hang out with dogs when I wasn't in a position to have one of my own was to look after friends / colleagues dogs when they were away, and volunteering as a dog walker at a local rehoming charity.

DH and I are in our 70s. Our much loved girl died last September and he really would have been happy not to have another but I couldn't bear the thought of not having another dog (we're both fit and well at the moment). We adopted an 8 year old lad three months ago, having been told he got on well with other dogs. He doesn't, he's reactive on walks and I'm undergoing training with him. DH hasn't said, but I know he regrets getting him. Our lives are on hold because we can't take Ddog anywhere.

Just enjoy the 2 you have. I think if you DH isn't on bord with the walking, then don't force him.

Respect your DH and joint Borrow my Doggy

Love the two dogs you already have and accept there will not be another for sometime. It all sounds a bit childish.

If you feel that strongly you have to choose: dog or husband. You can’t override his wishes - it’s selfish.

We are going on holiday very soon as it happens - but the dogs are coming too!

Thank you!

I raised my children, and, as all parents mums do, sacrificed my time and and freedom to put them first. Now that they're grown I'm enjoying time for me. My dogs are my "hobby", my "thing". There's nothing better than wandering through the woods or along a stream with my dogs. Everything is always wonderful to them and it gives me joy seeing them happy.

The grandchildren are lovely (mostly!) but I'm very much done with hearing "watch this" after the 4th time and I get twitchy if they start whinging, so no, I don't need to be spending every second with them. I enjoy them when I see them but I'm glad to go home afterwards.

Maybe count your blessings and remind yourself every day that people are just as important as dogs. Especially if they happen to be your husband and grandchildren.

Adding a young dog into two elderly dogs isn’t fair. Let them live out their lives and then reconsider. Rescuing is great but it can raise issues with young children so maybe consider a responsibly bred puppy next time so you can be more flexible. We’ve had both. The well bred puppy was so much easier with family.

We’re on our second dog and we’re hoping they will take us into early retirement then my DH would like a break to do some travelling without a dog. I completely respect that and I say that as someone who trains and competes their dogs and has done for years. my social life is dogs. He does an equal share of care (he mostly WFH). His feelings are valid and I respect them.

I think if your two elderly dogs had a choice they’d vote no.

You say you’re glad to go home after being around young children, but your dogs won’t have the option to leave an energetic pup in your home. Imagine how stressy it would be moving a toddler into your house? that’s basically how your dogs will feel.

I’d wait.

Can you work with dogs instead?
provide holiday dog care for people, walk people’s dogs? These services are in high demand.

My neighbours all have dogs.