Struggling with idea of putting my dog down who snaps.

[Buxtonwater124]

I have a chihuahua/Jack Russell type dog that is known to snap. He's 10 and over the years, he's bitten my nieces and nephews face, my brother's face, other dogs in house. We did go to put him down after this but as he was a family dog, my dad disagreed and so did others saying "just keep him away from kids" which we did. It all came to a head last summer when my older nephew rang me (as I had moved out of my dads, but still owned him) saying he's snapping and he needs to go. So I booked him in to be put down, as hard as it was. My partner then stepped in and said no, we will take him in, we have no kids and no one in the house respects the dogs boundaries or listens to train him, which is true. People don't listen with him, and stroke him for example on his stomach which he hates. Over the years we have paid probably thousands on training, on muzzles etc. But because he wasn't in my house at the time, no one in the house implemented the training.

So we took him. Since then, we have kept a strict routine with him and the dog has settled in so well. I'm able to pick him up, walk him well etc. cuddle him and when we have visitors we keep him away. However in last few weeks, I've seen him snap at my friend, who bent down to stroke him in the area we kept him away, he's snapped at our other dog (who he grew up with) and last night I seen him bite my cat on his face.

My cat, has been having abcesseses on his face since we got the dog, and it hit me. Maybe the dog has been biting the cat. I'm heartbroken. I'm in tears writing this. I love the dog so much and he's such a good dog for me. But I know I need to put him down. It isn't safe. But my partner disagrees and says just keep him separate. Here's the hard part, I'm due to have a baby soon and my family keep saying you can't risk the dog around the baby but I just keep saying I'll keep them apart. But after seeing him bite the cat yesterday, I'm devastated it was a lightbulb moment he isn't safe. But its a hard decision to bare on my own and would like my partner to agree. As he's our dog now. He's a sweet dog and I'm looking at him now and feel heartbroken taking a healthy dog to be PTS. My partner is concerned for my mental health losing a dog I've had for years and then having a baby he is worried ill struggle a lot as he knows how precious my dogs are to me. He agrees if he was an XL Bully I would've put him down earlier but also believes that keeping him separatenwith visitors baby is best option as the dog is fine with me and him.

Any support appreciated - please be kind. Seeing it all in writing it is so obvious what I need to do. But im struggling with the mental load of it

• [Note from MNHQ: Please see the OP's update at 16.06 on 20/5 before responding]

I'm sorry but he's a ticking time bomb. Especially with a precious child on the way and I know yousaid to be kind but I'mstruggling a bit because you should safeguard your unborn child, this shouldn't even be up for discussion. He should be pts. You have given him enough chances. He won't understand what is happening to him. Being a dog owner has huge responsibilities and I'm afraid this is when you need to step up and pts. Sorry x

I think you have two options here.

He goes to live with a single person who has no children, no other pets and very few visitors (or the space to keep him completely separate from visitors) and who knows his full behavioural history and is happy to take him as he is, or you put him to sleep.

You cannot keep him if you are about to have a baby, because it is not safe and his behaviour will probably get worse when baby actually arrives. Your cat is already being injured regularly by the dog, and cats are better at moving away than newborn babies are.

I’m so sorry that you are in this difficult situation and as a dog owner I know how much we love them. However you know that pts is the wise choice for your family.

You cannot ensure your dog is away from your dc at all times. It might be doable as a baby for a few weeks but as soon as dc is mobile it won’t work. And young kids are a nightmare with even tolerant dogs - fingers that pull, loud noises and no comprehension of giving a dog space. I had three wonderful dogs when DD was a baby but you can’t ever put any dog in a position where they feel unsafe as it isn’t fair on them, and it takes supervision. And that’s with a dog without his history. He’s had a lot of chances but you can’t take a chance with a baby.

Not worth the risk sorry, i know you could try to keep him locked away from the baby but what sort of a life is that for him anyway, at some point your baby will be on the move aswell, crawling at eye level with him, i know its not the same but once our DD started crawling it was so hard to keep her away from the cat- inevitably she was scratched on her face, will be so much worse with a dog, eventually the cat learnt to stay up high oit of reach from her but dogs can’t do that.

I would’ve had him pts long ago. It’s worrying that with his history your ‘lightbulb moment’ was only yesterday. You cannot keep a dangerous dog. You seem to be minimising slightly by saying he ‘snaps‘ when really he is a biter. He is a dangerous dog and the safest and best option for all, including the dog, is for him to be pts. You say he is a sweet dog, sweet dogs do not bite people. Please do the right thing.

Im a dog owner and love my dog dearly. Im also a mother. You wont be able to always keep them apart permanently. The crying and changes in the house will most lightly stress the dog and Just popping to grab a bottle could be a 2 second job and that is all it would take. If you babys face was bitten it could be left with disfigurememt. Blindness, fingers could be bit clear off and of course death could happen. No one honestly thinks there beloved dog could do such a thing but in your case youve had warnings.

It would break my heart to lose my dog so I do understand. Could you contact a dogs home and see if an assessment could be done. So you could be more sure of the right course of action or get suggestions from a professional.? There could be other options but be prepared to accept that he may need to be put down to protect you baby. For my two pennies worth as animal lover I wouldnt judge you for making the decision to have him put down in these circumstances.

Thank you everyone for your comments. I know. He should've been PTS a long time ago. But it's sad when he has mostly good days and he's a good dog for me (for me I add as I don't trust him with anyone else). When he came to me and my partner I just kept thinking we could keep him away from everyone which we have done well. Ordinarily he chills with us on sofa, or in his bed. It's just for visitors. But when I saw him snap yesterday maybe it's the pregnancy, but I think it was a lightbulb moment as I had the idea before of putting him down but was talked out of it, he's a small dog, he just likes his space etc. Excuses really but now I know I need to. My cats had these issues since we got the dog and we havehad him back and forth to vets and did ask is it dog bites but the vet said it's allergies and skin condition. But when I saw him bite him in same spot it broke me.

I agree when I have a baby it's doable for a bit but when the baby crawls if I'm sleep deprived etc drop the ball, anything could happen. But my partner is so black and white about it plus worrying about my mental health of losing the dog.

I'm typing this whilst the dog is wagging his tail looking sweet as pie. But he is a ticking time bomb.

Omg, not even any doubt in my mind.

Thank you everyone for being kind It is desperately needed. I'm really struggling with the mental load of putting him to sleep it's breaking my heart. I have chest pain at the idea. But it's true what if I nip out in kitchen for 2 seconds its all it takes my head says I know and even my heart it's just the mental load of it

I’m sorry I can imagine how hard this decision is. Another way to look at it is - you’ve given your dog a calmer life for a while and without you the dog would not have been alive this long.

You would probably struggle to rehome him safely and the cat hasn’t learned to avoid him.

Once your baby is crawling it will be impossible to have the dog in the same space as the baby.

The decision is black and white but no dog owner would make the decision without the heaviest heart.

I would add that when I was pregnant my hormones were everywhere and I cried all the time! Perhaps you could wait until the baby is born and then ask your dp to do the dreaded deed.

You'll be the one who ends up all over the media and possibly in jail when it mauls or kills a child.

So sorry, but yes, from what you have described he needs to be put down 😔

I agree, Could you imagine me in the news after him attacking our child. That's what I think too. But when you look at him begging for his morning chew it's so hard I know I need to and it's going to be hard when baby is crawling but I like that it's true I've given him a calmer end to his life and no one can say I haven't tried my hardest with him. I just wish my partner was more on board so I wouldn't feel so guilty. He did say if we need to we will and it's my decision but it's a hard decision to make. I wish he would say "yes finally, I'll take him" but when he says just keep them separate and seeds doubt it's like I feel cruel doing it

My worry is when the baby is here, I might stress more as deep down I know it's the inevitable and im delaying it and when baby is here I might stress over visitors etc more. But my partner is worried ill become depressed from losing the dog. Ont he flip side my baby might come here and I tell myself this is the right decision and be glad I made it

You can tell an adult not to stroke him on his stomach for example but children wouldn’t be able to follow instructions like that. I think you’ve got no choice. Poor cat as well.

Oh I just need to say I am so sorry for you in this situation, how sad for you all.

Get rid immediately. Sounds like an absolute liability. I’m actually quite horrified you are even weighing up the options when safety of children is at stake.

Trust me you will be glad you made it, once your baby is here and you see how fragile they are you will feel such a whoosh of protectiveness.
let him go you still having love for him because if he hurts your baby you will hate him.

OP. We are all going to die at some point. Animals don't know about this. They blissfully unaware and we (humans) alone bare the burden of knowing about death.

As a pet owner your animal's life is yours to deal with. You've given him a good life (and a longer life than he would have had with a lot of other people who would not have tolerated his biting).

Now it's time to do the right thing and give him the good death thAt ALL pet owners are responsible for.

He won't have a clue. He'll just drift off to sleep. I wish we and all animals could all be as lucky to die that way 💐

Sorry to read the situation you're in, you've given him lots of understanding and wonderful times. When your baby is here you'll feel so protective and if you still have the dog then will probably feel even more strongly than you do now that he needs to go. Could you try and rehome him with someone with no children perhaps. If not it's completely understandable you if did have him PTS. He's had lots of chances and bitten too many people and pets. It doesn't mean that you love him any less.

my partner is worried ill become depressed from losing the dog

You'll be feeling much worse if the dog bites your baby's face eventually. I'm sorry if that is harsh but as a pp has already said, the dog is a ticking time bomb. Do not risk it.

Oh @Buxtonwater124 im
so sorry, what a sad situation.
but as @Laiste sats, your doggie won’t know he’s being pts, he will have no concept of dying or fear of death. He will just go to sleep and won’t wake up.
when baby comes, the situation will become so very stressful for all of you, including the dog.
he’s 10, not a bad innings.

Thank you everyone. It's made me feel much better about my decision and realising it's not as simple as keeping him separate from a child. It was when my partner was saying it so black and white it made me feel somewhat incompetent.

My sister has kindly offered to take him to be PTS. I initially couldn't think of anything less than not being there but being heavily pregnant and already having chest pain all this morning over it, I think I'm too weak to go. She has said she won't leave his side. She has a dog that attacked and has been in this position so is very understanding and is pushing for me to do it in a kind way like all you guys are. Even some of the harsher comments, I cannot argue with as it is true.

As an owner I do need to be responsible and I should do it whilst I love him, not if I grow to hate him.

I'm sorry OP it's a very difficult situation but you absolutely cannot have the dog in your home with a baby. Just absolutely not.

I also feel for your poor cat 😔

I'm afraid the only thing you can do is PTS. It's the kindest thing all round.