Struggling with idea of putting my dog down who snaps.

[Buxtonwater124]

I have a chihuahua/Jack Russell type dog that is known to snap. He's 10 and over the years, he's bitten my nieces and nephews face, my brother's face, other dogs in house. We did go to put him down after this but as he was a family dog, my dad disagreed and so did others saying "just keep him away from kids" which we did. It all came to a head last summer when my older nephew rang me (as I had moved out of my dads, but still owned him) saying he's snapping and he needs to go. So I booked him in to be put down, as hard as it was. My partner then stepped in and said no, we will take him in, we have no kids and no one in the house respects the dogs boundaries or listens to train him, which is true. People don't listen with him, and stroke him for example on his stomach which he hates. Over the years we have paid probably thousands on training, on muzzles etc. But because he wasn't in my house at the time, no one in the house implemented the training.

So we took him. Since then, we have kept a strict routine with him and the dog has settled in so well. I'm able to pick him up, walk him well etc. cuddle him and when we have visitors we keep him away. However in last few weeks, I've seen him snap at my friend, who bent down to stroke him in the area we kept him away, he's snapped at our other dog (who he grew up with) and last night I seen him bite my cat on his face.

My cat, has been having abcesseses on his face since we got the dog, and it hit me. Maybe the dog has been biting the cat. I'm heartbroken. I'm in tears writing this. I love the dog so much and he's such a good dog for me. But I know I need to put him down. It isn't safe. But my partner disagrees and says just keep him separate. Here's the hard part, I'm due to have a baby soon and my family keep saying you can't risk the dog around the baby but I just keep saying I'll keep them apart. But after seeing him bite the cat yesterday, I'm devastated it was a lightbulb moment he isn't safe. But its a hard decision to bare on my own and would like my partner to agree. As he's our dog now. He's a sweet dog and I'm looking at him now and feel heartbroken taking a healthy dog to be PTS. My partner is concerned for my mental health losing a dog I've had for years and then having a baby he is worried ill struggle a lot as he knows how precious my dogs are to me. He agrees if he was an XL Bully I would've put him down earlier but also believes that keeping him separatenwith visitors baby is best option as the dog is fine with me and him.

Any support appreciated - please be kind. Seeing it all in writing it is so obvious what I need to do. But im struggling with the mental load of it

• [Note from MNHQ: Please see the OP's update at 16.06 on 20/5 before responding]

I agree with this. So sorry op. I think with baby on the way it would be sensible to find him a new home. What is your vet like? Can you go and speak to them about his behavior and get their advice on his behaviour and also on all the things you’ve written here.
Hugs. Xxx

I know people hate it when people say "when you're a mother you'll understand" but it's true. You go through so much, risk your very life, to bring a precious vulnerable baby into the world. You do not risk its life because of a biting dog.

When you have your baby, you'll look back in horror at the way your dog bit your nieces and nephews and you were blasé enough about it that it could happen twice.

Lots of dogs do very well without teeth. Could your dog have his teeth removed instead of being pts? My dog has had bad teeth removed (breed is prone to dental issues despite care) and he has fewer than half his teeth left (has had 3 dental ops over the years). It doesn’t remotely bother him. When I asked the vet about having few teeth, the vet said plenty of dogs have none and eat and exists perfectly well.

Rehoming isn't an option. I wouldn't want to send him off to strangers. It's only me really the dog trusts. I'm the only one who can pick him up for example after working with him over the years. I have family members but my sister made a valid point that kids go and visit there as we are a close knit family and that those family members were the same ones who were initially so laid back about it
I have tried anti anxiety stuff such as the plug in diffuser, bed which has high sides and calming medication but it hasn't worked. When he lived with my dad, I bought a crate and said when visitors come, please put him in the crate with a chew and let him relax. And it did become his relaxing place he went in voluntarily. Unfortunately my family became laid back and that's when he bit my 2 niece and nephew on face and even my older brother on nose. The final straw was last year when my nephew said he needs to be PTS as he keeps biting him. So I arranged this but when I told my partner he said no we will have him and work with him. When I went to pick him up, I saw how my nephew and family were when saying good bye and all of them did everything the dog hates e.g. getting in his face, making kisses noises by him, touching his belly. Etc. And me and my partner were mortified that I was going to put him down and seeing my nephew have complete disregard for the advice (adult nephew). But it's in the last year we have made loads of progress with him, but he has still growled at visitors, snapped at my friend and then yesterday when I saw him go for the cat and bite him, I just knew it isn't going to work. So even though it's the hardest decision, I couldn't re-home to a stranger or family for fear of something happening like what a PP said.

I haven't stopped crying all day or all last night. I'm so devastated. It still doesn't feel real I have to do this. Like a PP said my sister. Said when you have your child you will know it's the right choice. But it's so hard when I'm cuddling him right now. I have to be a responsible owner but I am just really struggling.

I also think it's the right decision OP. Also he's 10 and you've given him a lot of good years despite him being a difficult dog - many people wouldn't have put in the effort that you have.

A good friend had a dog that used to resource guard and go for people. She really loved the dog and tried everything, vets, behaviourists. The dog didn't change and my friend (who lived alone at the time) could never have anyone over in case the dog went for them. Eventually she told me she'd had her rehomed. It was only a few years later she said she'd actually been PTS, she just hadn't felt she could say so. I didn't judge her at all. She's had animals since (still has) and has been a great owner to all of them.

This.

You either rehome or euthanise, but you can’t keep him. Speak to an organisation like Dogs Trust and see what they advise.

Ive had to have a dog put down due to them biting someone (he never would have bitten me) it was extremely hard but the right decision and you have to think hes had 10 years but you cannot risk the baby, I think you know what the right decision is

You don’t have to do this. Those plug ins don’t work there are actual tablets they can take

You are making the right decision, but for your sake, the baby’s sake and also the dogs don’t drag it out until midweek, just get it over with.

You can tell your family the truth that he attacked the cat, which means that despite all the work you have done with him he still bites and you cannot risk him injuring your cat further or god forbid injuring your newborn. Don’t tell them until it’s done so that you can’t be talked out of it.

@FairyBatman has it right.
Wait until after the event, before you tell family, you know he's attacked the cat, thats your final straw.

Enjoy your last few days with him, you've given him a great chance,,but you need to put cat and baby first

Poor dog, such a shame you are having an unplanned pregnancy - which results in the dog getting his death sentence.

Do not let your sister take the dog to the vet, it is your responsibility.

No need for this @OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon the OP has given the dog many many chances and he has been rehomed within the family at least twice to try and manage the problem. Nowhere does it say that OPs pregnancy is unplanned.

What kind of thing is that to say to OP? "Such a shame you are having an unplanned pregnancy"....do you hear yourself???

It's hard OP, I get it. I'm facing the same with my beautiful girl next week and I'm dreading it, even though I know it's the right decision as her motor nerves are failing her and it's only a matter of time before she loses the ability to walk.

It's clear you love your little dog, and it sounds like you've done everything you can to give him the best life possible. Sadly, it doesn't sound like it's safe for him to be rehomed, or for him to stay with you. I think your plan of giving him a nice few days before it happens is a good one. Spend time with him, spoil him and take lots of photos.

If you don't feel up to going to the vet yourself, that's OK. My dad could never face it so it was my mum who took our dogs when the time came. You need to make the best decision for you. If your sister is willing to do it on your behalf, that's fine and at least he'll have someone he knows with him.

Even though it's the responsible thing to do, that doesn't make it any easier. I'll be thinking of you.

I agree -try something else first.

Both have already been tried.

It sounds like this dog has had more opportunities than most dogs of this nature would have had and you have tried many different things to try and help him, but nothing is sticking. If he was a larger dog he could have killed someone or something by now, and he still could. Your poor cat. Sorry but he’s dangerous, as sad as it is, the safest option for everyone involved is to have him put down. Take comfort in the fact that you tried your best for him, but you need to put your unborn baby and existing pets first, having him around just isn’t worth the risk anymore.

Mate, what the fuck is wrong with you?

How do you know the op wasn't already pregnant when she took the dog in to so it wouldn't be PTS for biting the other family members?

I take it your just trying to wind people up.

How many folk or other animals does the dog need to hurt before it's time do get rid?

Does the cat 🐈 😻 🐈‍⬛️ not matter?

Its had its chances. Behaviour hasn't iimproved. Time to put the cat, and humans first.

Would you be willing to house it?
And be willing to accept the damage it WILL cause?

Good morning all. I have read each and every comment and they have been helpful (apart from my unplanned pregnancy which btw was planned and when I wanted to give the dog who I have had in my family for 10 years another chance knowing I would keep boundaries in place).

My plan is Wednesday. It still doesn't feel real. I like the advice from PP about explaining to my family he attacked the cat and it was final straw. Trouble is, the member in my family who I'm worried about telling will just accuse me in of doing it as baby is coming and not giving him a chance etc. But I am a bad liar and maybe I'll just have to shove the comments aside.

I'm planning on cooking him a steak, taking him for a big walk and giving him a type of bone which I couldn't normally give as he would bite if I dared took it off him 😅 again looking at him this morning looking innocent is making everything so much harder. But I just come back on here and it reminds me why.

This dog has bitten multiple people multiple times. Many (more sensible) people would have made this decision a long time ago.

Op you've given it a go. You need to consider yourself, the cat and the baby.

If Uncle was so keen he could have taken the dog, but no he didn't. Actions speak louder than words.

Give the dog a nice couple of days. Then get rid.
Actually you don't even need to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. He's an elderly dog, he could develop an illness ask the vet for a plausible reason if you don't want to tell family you made the decision.

Hi OP

I'm so sorry you're in this predicament. A close relative had to put her dog to sleep recently due to unpredictable aggression. It was heartbreaking but she was burnt out from having to be constantly vigilant around the dog and her children. I adored this dog but it had snapped at me for no reason and without warning.

Her dog behaviourist and vet said this was impossible to resolve with training as it is caused by poor breeding. The dog had been on medication for years. Most dog rescues will not take dogs with a bite history and she felt she couldn't rehome him in good conscience.

There is a Facebook group called 'Losing Lulu' for people who have had to pts a dog with aggression problems. It might be helpful to you. As others have pointed out, your dog is 10 and has been given multiple 'second chances'.

That is probably little comfort to you right now but you're doing the right thing OP.

Sorry but as a dog owner and having had this with one years ago pts is the best option

Well done making a hard decision, and i hope the couple of idiots making contrarian ideological comments don’t get to you. I think a big part of becoming a mother is learning not to let other people’s opinions override your own instincts and values. It happens so many times in so many ways. It’s hard for you to have to make this huge decision before the baby is even here and to have had to persuade your partner. But you could use your worries about your family’s judgment to practice feeling grounded in yourself and your decisions. No one else will protect your baby as fiercely as you, trying to people please while doing so will just exhaust you.