The trouble with wanting doodle owners to “admit they cocked up” as @LandSharksAnonymous put it, is that it can feel like asking them to say their dog shouldn’t exist...an impossible and cruel idea for any loving pet owner.
It’s a bit like my friend, who married a man that turned out to be a nasty abusive violent sack of *%^^. She’d never defend him, but when asked if marrying him was a mistake, she hesitates because her children came from that relationship. To say it was a mistake feels like saying her children shouldn’t exist, and that’s unthinkable.
Many people, myself included, didn’t start out as “dog people.” I wasn’t seriously considering getting a dog, and then completely out of the blue, I saw her little face in a photo and something in me flipped. I went to the breeders on their sheep farm, the last of the litter, 13 weeks old who got left behind while all her litter mates were chosen. I didn’t ask the right questions, didn’t really understand what ethical breeding involved, didn't scrutinise the health test paperwork they showed me etc (I wouldn't have known what I was looking at was legit anyway) and only saw one part of their house (kitchen/diner), saw mum and dad but didn't really know what to think beyond "Mum seems affectionate with her, Dad doesn't seem to give a shit and is more concerned about the smell of dinner cooking".
But I walked away with my best friend. She makes my house a home, and my personality & solo environment is the perfect place for her quiet introverted little soul. Whatever the circumstances, she is not a mistake. She's the best thing that has ever happened to me.
That being said, I paid the money and fed the boom.
I've not had her hip scored etc because I have no plans to breed obviously but out of curiosity I have screened myself for genetic health. She's clear from everything apart from IVDD genes. I've researched and the best thing I can do is feed her healthy natural food and incorporate hill walking to keep her lower back muscles strong. Hopefully this will stop those genes expressing themselves. Now I'm just trying to decide and research if spaying before or after her second heat is the best thing for her health and development, but that's a topic for another thread.
Would I support doodle breeding again?
Probably not but I'd have to look away quickly. And pretend really hard that I hadn't just seen an unchosen dog who needs a home that might end up in a shelter if someone doesn't take her. I can't even resist buying a stuffed animal in a shop if I've already made eye contact 😂
Do I label her a cock up?
ABSOLUTELY NOT. How cruel, that would indicate someone doesn't love (or deserve) their pet.
I’m not alone in feeling torn between loving the dog I have and recognising the boom in popularity that made her existence possible, and the subsequent systemic issues that can result from that boom. That internal conflict is what makes this topic so fraught: asking someone to “admit they made a mistake” in getting their dog can sound like asking them to wish away the very animal who brings them love, companionship, and happiness. Can you understand that’s an impossible ask for someone who feels like their dog saved them, or vice versa.
This is actually one of the more civilised discussions I have seen on the Doodle Hate topic.