I’ve been horrible to my old, blind, ill dog😭

[StarDolphins]

I’m absolutely devastated and can’t stop crying today. I’m on day 9 of less than 3 hours sleep with him . He sleeps on my bed and has done for 13 years. He’s barking ALL the time through the night and my DD is getting hardly any sleep and I’m so conscious of the neighbours who have their grandchilld(baby) staying twice per week.

My DD (9) has only seen me cry twice, once at a film and once when our cat died. She’s now crying saying if I’m sad, she’s sad. What a mess.

Last night in the night, he barked pretty much all night and I tried everything, cuddling him, gave him water, brought him downstairs, brought the air con in from my DD’s room. I eventually got him to sleep on top of me then 10 mins later, started to bark again. It’s like he is only ok if I’m awake. So I shouted at him to stop and grumpily got him off the bed again (which he’ll have noticed as I am usually very gentle with him) , brought him down, plonked him out the back door and said ‘WEES’. Usually, it’s all very gentle so he will have known I was not being nice.

i can’t believe I’ve done it. The one person in the world that he loves most and that loves him the most. He must already feel scared at being all but blind and now he’s probably even more scared that his one person has been awful to him😭 I can’t even explain to him that I was stressed.

I’m sorry, I don’t even know what I’m asking, I’m just so sad, he probably doesn’t have long left and I’ve done this.

Dogs ignore the crap humans do within seconds. Just hug him, have a good sit down and have a chat with your vet

It sounds like your poor doggo has sundowners. Basically doggy dementia that is worse at night. It can be very scary and distressing for them.
There are meds for it, so it is worth having a chat with your vet. But you need to look over the whole picture too about your dog's quality of life.
YOUR quality of life is part of that too.

Thank you and I’m sorry you’re going through it too🥰 it’s awful.

Thank you🙂

Thank you, I will. I think you’re right. I put air con half hour ago to get the room cold for him and put him on a cool mat. Nipped out of the bedroom to see to my 18 year old cat and he’s barked until I went to get him and now he’s ok. I’ve just read about dementia and apart from incontinence and soiling, it’s so very similar to how he is😭

OP you have given your dog a wonderful life full of love. But he is suffering anxiety and distress due to his many ailments and it is time to PTS. Do not ask the vet what they would do. With blindness, diabetes and dementia you know what to do. The barking is indicative of suffering. Do not keep him suffering another day. No more injections or medications. Take a deep breath and do what you know you must. DD will be fine. Explain to her tomorrow morning before school that DDog is old and poorly and is going to the vet today and may not come home. Then it’s time for one last cuddle as you say goodbye and let him go over the rainbow bridge. I have done this several times already and will do it several more. Yes it’s painful but it’s part of owning a pet.

I've just read the thread op and wonder how you got on with him last night? I hope things were better all round. It is heartbreaking seeing out pets growing old and especially when they beat the end. You sound like an amazing pet owner, I'm sure you'll know when it's the right time.

echo what others have said, it may be time to let him go peacefully, I wish I had done that for mine. Be kind to yourself you’ve given him the best life and you’re exhausted x

Thank you. He slept all night until 6am. I got the room freezing, left the light on & didn’t put him on the bed. I put my oodie right night to my bed and he slept there. No one bark until 6am. I still can’t stop crying though because I love him so much and I know it’s the end. I wfh so he’s sat right next to me now. I’m not going to PTS today. I’m going to speak with my vet Thursday.

I'm sorry @StarDolphins. I have been through this too and it's so painful. Lots of love to you.

OP, I saw this title lastnight and was ready to come for you... And then I read all of your posts and I was crying so much I couldn't reply.

You are an amazing owner. You clearly love and care so much for your dog. He knows this, he knows you love him and that you don't mean it when you're harsh.

You'll know when the time is right and I don't envy you one bit.

Someone in my family has an old dog, he's in alot of pain, blind, incontinent but the owner will not put him to sleep because "he's not so bad" I beg to differ. We have tried to make them see the time is right but they won't entertain it. Instead they leave him to go off travelling all of the time and it makes me so so angry.

I could never leave my dog constantly and she's only young! I dread the day when we start to see her decline, when she can longer jump around and then the day when we know that it's time.

The world is big but honestly my dog (and DH I suppose 😂) are my whole entire world and I know we're hers. It's so unfair that they don't get to be around longer when there's so many shitty people in the world.

I'll stop rambling now because I'm tearing up again 😅.

I've recently had my cat put down at home, and obviously you know your own child but I don't think it would be traumatising if she wanted to be there. (Presuming it's the same process for dogs) it was just an injection of the sedative, but that takes a few minutes to kick in so you can spend time cuddling, giving treats etc, while they very calmly just start nodding off. Then a second injection once they're asleep. You could explain what will happen and ask her if she wants to be there? Mine was sat in a sunny spot on the carpet, purring and eating a cat yoghurt until she just got too sleepy to lick, was so easy and peaceful.

Whenever you do decide is the right time, at home in a comfy spot with his family there is the best ending you can give to your boy.

Sounds like cognitive dysfunction. My old terrier started to have difficult nights when he was about 14, confused and distressed for no obvious reason. I got Aktivait on many recommendations and it honestly turned him around within two weeks, he stayed on it until I lost him to oral cancer at almost 18. It’s a non-prescription small tablet, I used to have it on monthly subscription with Viovet but i expect other online veterinary pharmacies sell it.

That’s so sad about your family members dog😭 they really hate being incontinent too and he’ll be frightened when they leave him to go away😩

I’ve had 13 years of camping and uk holidays with my dog and my friends are saying you’ve had a great life with him but it just doesn’t help😭 I love him so much and don’t want my life with him to end.

Thank you for being so nice🙂 made me cry again!

Thank you. I’ve had a chat with my DD this morning about ‘when the time comes’ and she doesn’t want to be there.

I’m going to get everything in place for when I’m ready, see what my vets says about whether she can come to my home to do it etc and if not, I know a lovely pets at rest vet that just goes to homes for this reason so will speak to him. I am very adamant it needs to be at home and calm for him. He gets very stressed at the vets and will be even worse now he’s blind.

I’m sorry about your cat. It sounds very peaceful though. I have an 18 year old cat and I want the same for her.

Thank you so much for this! I’m going to look at this now. Last night was much better but I will ask the vet if she thinks he would benefit.

I would give up dogs forever if I could have more time with him😭

Did the vet say it was cognitive dysfunction? Did they do a test for it?

No. I have been with my fantastic independent family vets for well over 30 years, there is a respectful balance between the impeccable care and advice they give, and decisions I make for my pets.

When I have reason to think I have a cold, I might supplement my diet with extra vitamin C, I don’t need my doctor to diagnose a cold. I take magnesium and vitamin D3 too, because I have researched the likely benefits. I see my doctor when I need a prescription. I don’t feel I need his authority to take extra vitamins when there is ample anecdotal evidence that they may be useful and are unlikely to have negative effects at the correct dosages.

My dog’s symptoms were entirely typical and there was - is - endless anecdotal evidence of how so very many ageing dogs start to show signs of canine “dementia”, usually restlessness at night, pacing, whining or barking, asking to go out but forgetting why he wasn’t indoors, forgetting which door led to the stairs, confusion if I sat on a different armchair and he couldn’t find me on my usual chair two feet away. So, after reading countless recommendations for Aktivait, which is not medication but a food supplement, I considered it well worth trying. I’m glad I did, because it had a very measurable effect on MY dog, as it had helped others who had recommended it so highly.

Edited as I realise you may feel it’s time to let him go, and my heart goes out to you. We get pets knowing they’ll break our hearts. Thinking of you

Thank you so much for this, very interesting and helpful. I totally get it.

I’m much like you in that I self supplement based on research I do (spend a fortune on mine, I take that many!)

I read a lot about cognitive dysfunction last night and coupled with your dogs symptoms above, I’m pretty certain my dog does have this too. Mixed in with his blindness.

I am taking it day by day at the minute, feeel a bit in limbo with it really. I had another settled night last night with the light on and not putting him on the bed and although he’s slept all day (as usual) he tried to play with a puppy this morning that lives on our road..it was a 30 second jumping around play but still! That’s him probably wiped out for the next week!

Just need to do a bit more reading about Aktivait and whether it interferes with diabeties and see how the next few days go and might order it. Thanks for your help.

The harsh truth is that he's never going to get better than he is now. So if he's getting some decent nights, still pottering and enjoying a cuddle - let him go. Before something traumatic happens, ie he has a sudden decline and your last memory is distressing. Let him go while he's still got a little bit of quality of life left. This is what i do for my pets, and it makes the grief easier because you know they didn't suffer. My parents and grandparents leave their pets too long and the animals inevitably end up suffering because the humans want to delay their own grief for as long as possible. But it's the animal that carries the consequences of that.

I would tell your dd in advance which day it's going to happen. She's old enough to understand.

The vet can come out to him at home when the time comes. I'm so sorry OP it's so hard 😟

Your dog might well be in pain. It would be unusual for a pet that age not to have arthritis for example. You can ask you're vet for painkillers with a sedative effect for night-time. They'll need to see him first of course.
Don't worry about being firm with him, he'll have forgotten.

Please don't rule out ever getting another dog OP - not right now or soon of course - but you sound like such a wonderful owner and any rescue dog would be so lucky to have you as an owner. Your dog has been lucky to have such a lovely owner all his life.

Thank you, I’m going to speak to the vet thurs to find out what days she can/can’t come and even if she does offer this service. It has to be at home, not the vets. Thank you, it’s so painful. I’ve never felt pain like it actually.

Thank you, I won’t. We had only rescue dogs when I was growing up and my grandparents did too so I will see how it goes once I’ve had time to get over my dog.