I’ve been horrible to my old, blind, ill dog😭

[StarDolphins]

I’m absolutely devastated and can’t stop crying today. I’m on day 9 of less than 3 hours sleep with him . He sleeps on my bed and has done for 13 years. He’s barking ALL the time through the night and my DD is getting hardly any sleep and I’m so conscious of the neighbours who have their grandchilld(baby) staying twice per week.

My DD (9) has only seen me cry twice, once at a film and once when our cat died. She’s now crying saying if I’m sad, she’s sad. What a mess.

Last night in the night, he barked pretty much all night and I tried everything, cuddling him, gave him water, brought him downstairs, brought the air con in from my DD’s room. I eventually got him to sleep on top of me then 10 mins later, started to bark again. It’s like he is only ok if I’m awake. So I shouted at him to stop and grumpily got him off the bed again (which he’ll have noticed as I am usually very gentle with him) , brought him down, plonked him out the back door and said ‘WEES’. Usually, it’s all very gentle so he will have known I was not being nice.

i can’t believe I’ve done it. The one person in the world that he loves most and that loves him the most. He must already feel scared at being all but blind and now he’s probably even more scared that his one person has been awful to him😭 I can’t even explain to him that I was stressed.

I’m sorry, I don’t even know what I’m asking, I’m just so sad, he probably doesn’t have long left and I’ve done this.

I’m so sorry you are going through this. Our vet told us that dogs are very good at masking pain and discomfort so, kindly, it is probably time to
let him go. You will be doing the kindest thing you have ever done for him ❤️

Yes as a PP said it is called sundowning and it's not uncommon with dementia.

I've had a lot of dogs over my life and it is less traumatic to choose the time they go than leave it to nature.

Better a week too early than a day too late.

If I were in your shoes I would want them to have a little bit of a quality of life when they go, and not a completely absent quality of life, because that way he won't be in pain, he will still be able to feel your presence and your love, and it will simply be like falling asleep while being surrounded by family.

It is a hard choice, but it is an honour and privilege to be able to do this for our loved ones when the time is right.

Youre tiredness is probably making you more emotional about this. I have felt this way after snapping at my (young) dog when I’ve really reached my limits, we are all human. The fact you’re beating yourself up about this one event demonstrates the level of love and care you have treated your dog with daily

😭I have an appt anyway on Thursday but I want him to be at home anyway.

He has his groom tomorrow and now I’m thinking how scared he must be not being able to see where he is. He feels so much better after though.

my vet reassured me that they can live quite happily with blindness but I think this is what’s upsetting him most.

thank you for the replies. I’m heartbroken.

He sounds like a very very loved pet, who has had a lovely life ❤️

It is such a heartbreak I am so sorry.

He’s just trotted up to me with his tail wagging and has rolled over demanding a tickle😭😭 look at him😭

some quality? I think its better to let them go a week too early than a day too late

not trying to be mean, but I think its the kindest option here for him - not the human!

Better a week too early than a day too late.

You can give home the dignity of a good passing, in comfort and free of pain or distress.

it sounds very much like it is time.

wishing you all the best; it’s hard, but you will be doing right by him x

I agree on the dementia too OP. My dog was put to sleep because of it. Night was the worst. The barking is because they are confused, afraid and don’t remember.

The hardest thing was letting him go, as physically he was okay, but it was the kindest thing to to for all of us. The six months between its onset and having him pts were the hardest for us all. So incredibly stressful.

Edited to add, I agree completely with the “rather a week too early” sentiment.

Poor little man :( Have you tried having the light on? Maybe it's feeling he's alone in the darkness that's really scaring him. Or could you get some sedatives for the night time to help him relax. I'm not someone who agrees with drugging dogs usually, but if he's still happy in the daytime and he just needs a bit of help getting through the darkness, I'd think it's maybe worth a conversation with the vet.

It is a horrible guilt though when you upset them, you really are their whole world and you can't explain. But lots and lots of cuddles and he won't even remember.

Thank you. What was he like in the day please? I’m totally open to it being dementia he’s totally fine in the day.

I agree with those who have suggested that it might be time to consider letting him go. Thinking of you and sending strength.

Thank you for this. I’m going to keep the light on in the bedroom tonight to try & calm him a bit. I’m also going to take him on his proper walk before bed as I’m wondering if his glucose levels are skewed because it’s been boiling and he’s not had his full walk. The only other time he barked lots like this was when he first got diabetes.

I know he doesn’t have long.

How is his diabetes treated, OP? Do you test his blood sugar? If it were me, I’d want a check over from the vet first just to reassure myself that there wasn’t a physical problem causing the nocturnal barking.

This. I know its hard but dogs live in the now. A human might be able to think that all they have to do is get through the night then the day will be lovely but the dog can't imagine this, all they feel is terrible now. Its time to do the final hardest kindest thing and that's to take the suffering on yourself so they don't have to. Talk to your vet, you know its right.

OP as others have said, this is classic sundowner dementia. It's not uncommon in dogs and it perfectly explains his night time distress and barking.

https://www.kingsdale.com/sundowners-in-dogs-a-comprehensive-guide

I inject him 7am-7pm and he has Libre2 BG monitor put on by the vet nurse but is overdue this because I can’t get hold of the vet nurse which is why I’ve booked a vet appt. He’s still on his starter dose from January. Last time it was hot he was the same so I think that’s what this is.

Although, sadly I do think it’s nearly time to say goodbye. It’s not this episode or diabetes that’s even making me think this, it’s been on my recently and more to do with his blindness and how scared he must be. If he can’t find me, I can see him searching and this is the main reason for me. I don’t want him to be scared. I also don’t want a crisis to come before PTS. Unfortunately, as hard as this is going to be for me, I have to do the right thing for him.

Have you asked your vet about some sedation at night? Gabapentin is one option, and there are alternatives. Ideally it would let you both sleep during the time you have left together.

Thank you, I’m going to speak to her on Thursday. It’s her who I want to come to our house to PTS anyway so I can speak to her about his barking and blindness and she will tell me if she too thinks it’s time. She’s very good.

It was actually the reverse for my boy - he was fine at night, but he had a good bedtime routine and bed in the same place he’d had it in his whole life, so it was familiar to him. He was early morning waking though, barking as soon as the sun was up, or if he heard a noise (a fox outside or one of the cats).

Daytimes he was just anxious to start with, and restless, but that progressed to him barking and pacing (literally non stop in the last couple of weeks), unless you were sat next to him on the sofa, stroking him. He’s stop in the middle of walks and just stand there. Anyone who came in the house who didn’t live there, even if he knew them, he became scared. So much more stuff, but we actually said the minute he didn’t recognise one of us, we had to call it, and we stuck by that promise to him and us.

Speak to your vet about your concerns. It could just be starting, but it’s good to get ahead of it and know what you’re dealing with and in my experience the vet was knowledgeable and supportive and trusted us to know when it was time.

I’m really sorry. Your doggy looks so lovely and it’s clear how much you adore them.

ETA: We ruled out anything physical and were given medication to try for our boy (as someone said above - Gabapentin at first, then something else I can’t remember the name of), and it did help, but ultimately not enough in the end.

You clearly love him very much, OP. It’s a difficult decision. I had to make it myself and it was very hard. The vet told me I was doing the right thing and that helped me. See it as a last act of kindness that you can do for your darling dog 💐 xx

You're clearly an excellent dog mum, and I think the appointment is a good idea. We just want the best for our fluffy family members don't we and sometimes the best is hard to contemplate. Sending love.

Thanks for this, very helpful. I think the vet will focus on his diabetes but I have to ask myself honestly if that would make a difference. It’a his blindness and him feeeling scared that bothers me much more I think. Seeing him try to find me is so upsetting.

ETA - if I’m sat with him on my knee, talking to him, he’s so relaxed and happy but I can’t do it 24/7

Yes sounds like sundowning, however the heat affects dogs in different ways. Is your dog drinking enough water, it may be dehydration causing some confusion.