I’ve been horrible to my old, blind, ill dog😭

[StarDolphins]

I’m absolutely devastated and can’t stop crying today. I’m on day 9 of less than 3 hours sleep with him . He sleeps on my bed and has done for 13 years. He’s barking ALL the time through the night and my DD is getting hardly any sleep and I’m so conscious of the neighbours who have their grandchilld(baby) staying twice per week.

My DD (9) has only seen me cry twice, once at a film and once when our cat died. She’s now crying saying if I’m sad, she’s sad. What a mess.

Last night in the night, he barked pretty much all night and I tried everything, cuddling him, gave him water, brought him downstairs, brought the air con in from my DD’s room. I eventually got him to sleep on top of me then 10 mins later, started to bark again. It’s like he is only ok if I’m awake. So I shouted at him to stop and grumpily got him off the bed again (which he’ll have noticed as I am usually very gentle with him) , brought him down, plonked him out the back door and said ‘WEES’. Usually, it’s all very gentle so he will have known I was not being nice.

i can’t believe I’ve done it. The one person in the world that he loves most and that loves him the most. He must already feel scared at being all but blind and now he’s probably even more scared that his one person has been awful to him😭 I can’t even explain to him that I was stressed.

I’m sorry, I don’t even know what I’m asking, I’m just so sad, he probably doesn’t have long left and I’ve done this.

See what the vet says when she knows the full picture. I asked my vet what she would do if it were her dog. Also I have to say I have had a few pets put to sleep now, including 2 dogs, and in each case I have never thought I did it too soon - just the opposite, I often felt afterwards that I should have let them go earlier. But the vet will know best.

❤For you because this is so hard, they really do leave paw prints on our hearts don't they.

Unfortunately with diabetes in dogs the blindness can come on rapidly so they don't have a chance to get used to reducing sight and some dogs can really struggle with it. I don't think your dog is holding a grudge at all or is in any way scared of you, I couldn't cope with one night of broken sleep far less many. Hope tonight is better x

That’s the thing that’s stressful, not being able to do it 24/7. You do end up stressed and they can pick up on that and it ends yo in a viscous cycle.

Whatever it is, and whatever you decide, I’ll be thinking of you. 💐

Please think about letting him go peacefully.
I read the heading of this thread, and was prepared to hate you, but in all honesty, you sound like a wonderful person,who gives all she can to ill pets. You are a good person, and I am happy to know animals have people like you looking after them (I used to work for an overseas animal rescue charity).

Thanks you. Yes they do, I will be heartbroken forever and my 9 year old has never know life without him. They’ve been so close and she has been so lovely and respectful to him always. She’s an only child so she used to set a place up for him in board games and literally been the best to him. Knows his body language & everything.

I won’t get another dog, I can’t go through this pain again.

Thank you, that’s really lovely of you to say🙂

It's blatantly obvious how much you love your dog, it’s really hard when we see them beginning to struggle.
I'm also in the camp ‘better a bit early than a moment too late’. Just love them too much to see them suffer a minute longer than they need to.

He does pick up on it, which is why I’ve been so upset about last night. He’s have known how frustrated & impatient I was and he’s the loveliest boy that doesn’t deserve that.

Thanks you. The vet reassured me in a January that after going blind it will be fine and they adjust well and their other senses heighten to compensate but I just don’t see it in him.

Thank you and unfortunately I agree.

What do I even do about my DD😭 can’t tell her to say goodbye then pack her off to school but can’t keep her off to see it either.

I disagree. Talk to her. Explain what is happening, that he’s scared, unhappy and has no chance of getting better. Give her the choice of being with him or not. It’s a huge event, losing your first pet, and she needs to say goodbye in the way that’s right for her. You can’t avoid it being upsetting, but you can help her and support her through the sadness.

I would say something a little vague, like you are worried the dogs not doing too well, send her as normal and tell her calmly when she comes home. I’ve had to do this a number of times , sadly and that seems less traumatic. Our Dd is a student, she’s going abroad for a year soon and I really hoped she would be gone before the end came for our little old man, but we can not delay it. She says she wants to be there and I know it will traumatise her, but she’s an adult. Spare your child that.

I don’t think I can do this😭 I want her to be able to say goodbye. She knows it’s coming as I’ve talked to her about it quite a lot.

i think I will ask the vet. I don’t want to traumatise her by being there but I would be very happy for her to decide but I don’t know if she’s able to fully understand.

You MUST have him PTS @StarDolphins Poor dog.

I feel for you, but it's time for him to go over the rainbow bridge. 💕🌈

It’s not your fault. You are a human doing the best you can, plus he’ll forgive you and love you unconditionally. It’s only an issue if it carries on.

With my child, we told them that the dog was poorly and they knew it was coming. They weren’t there when doggy was pts (we did it at the vets, was actually incredibly peaceful), but we told them when they got home from school that day that it was time and he’d gone over the rainbow bridge now to see the other pets we’d lost and we talked about how he wouldn’t be scared anymore.

It’s so hard. I’m sorry. 💔

Ask vet for sleeping med (melatonin perhaps)?

could be that’s he’s going through a phase, something is scaring him or new health issue coming up. Doesn’t necessarily mean dementia or that you have to PTS

also certain dogs react really weirdly to extreme weather changes

speak to your vet, it ll be fine xxxx

There’s no need to wait until Thursday for a sedative. If your vet thinks they will be appropriate then they can be prescribed and ready for you tomorrow. You just need to phone/email and ask. No need for another night that can be calm rather than distressing.

But they don’t ruminate and dwell on things like we do. So he will be over whatever he felt by now.

I think you need to think about having him PTS for your and his sake. Spend a week giving him lots of love and cuddles first. You can't keep not sleeping, of course you will lose your temper if you're exhausted.

This. He loves you and maybe he's picking up on your feelings because you know it's near the end. We know they are so good at that intuition, it is uncanny.

Could you put the radio on very very quietly for him at night, to keep him 'company'? I've no idea if that would work (I've never even had a dog!) but might be worth a try to give him some comfort.

Lovely picture and he does know that you love him. Sadly I agree with other posters that it may be time to have that chat with your vet. I’m so sorry.

I’m sorry OP bit I agree with this poster 100% I have worked in doggy welfare for quite a few years - most people will feel much better if they pts a day too early rather than a day too late. Don’t be the ‘too late’ person; as much as you love him, and he you, don’t make the mistake of humanising the situation. Dogs can be in horrendous pain, still eat and still wag their tails. Maybe take advice from your vet first. Big hugs 🤗 X