Page 5 | My pug is ruining my life

CosmicCuppa · 2025-06-02T20:51:01+00:00

I just don’t know what to do anymore. I have an eight year old pug with a very anxious attachment style. He’s a full on lap dog and cries miserably if he’s away from me for any minute. If I leave the house and he’s home with DH or the DC’s he won’t sit with them and sits crying and barking on the stairs until I come home. I work from home but I will need to go into the office one day a week starting in a few weeks. He sits in a bed next to my feet all day every day, we go for walks and then he’s back right next to me. He’s now taken to peeing on my bed every time I leave the room for even a few seconds (to tend to toddler DS for instance). We use enzyme cleaners everywhere but he just keeps going. He pees everywhere when I’m out of sight even if we’ve just gone to the garden together and he’s peed. Sometimes I need a bath or to use the toilet and he’ll pee in the hallway. It’s ruining my life and I’m starting to dread every day with him. I’ve tried everything but nothing stops him unless he’s right next to me. I can’t rehome him because he only wants me but DH is getting to the point where he’s really unhappy in his own home because of the dog and I’m scared to do anything because the dog is just untrainable. What the hell do I do? Is it cruel to rehome him? He’s been checked over by a vet and they say he’s just anxious and I’ll have to live with it. I have no idea what causes him to be this way though - he’s been like it forever but now with added peeing. Does anyone have any ideas because I’m honestly on the verge of a breakdown and crying constantly over it. We have nobody to take him for a short period or anything like that. I just don’t know what to do.

Violetparis · 03/06/2025 22:25

He really isn't your baby, put your husband and child before the bloody dog.

forgotactually · 03/06/2025 22:48

Ask your vet about Trazodone.
if your vet refuses to discuss it, find a vet who will.

Nominative · 04/06/2025 00:08

CosmicCuppa · 03/06/2025 18:17

I contacted a pug rescue last night out of sheer desperation right before I cried myself to sleep at the thought of him being so sad without me if they took him. Woke up to an email and text from them saying they could collect him this weekend. Couldn’t bring myself to message them back.

I really am the only person he loves. When people say don’t leave him, I genuinely don’t. I work from home four days a week now in a new job and I’ve been home for years full time WFH and then on maternity leave. Apart from nipping to Tesco I very rarely leave him and never for more than two hours. Someone is always in the house with him. It doesn’t matter. It’s me or nobody in his eyes, the poor baby.

If this was ‘normal’ separation anxiety I’d be able to cope better but going to the room next door to tend to a crying baby for four minutes and for him to have peed on the bed knowing he could climb down and follow me is exhausting. Even if I take him off the bed, out of the room, close the door etc he’ll pee in the hall because my attention is elsewhere. Even when I’m in the bath and he’s in the bathroom with me, he’ll whine, cry and pee because he can’t get to me.

Now I have one mandated day in the office so as of next week I have to be in one day a week. DH will have to look after him and the baby both screaming while I’m gone because the dog makes the baby cry with how loud and consistent his wails are.

I’m going to make an appointment with a new vet and have a discussion but not with the view to PTS. He really is my baby but he’s a baby who’s making me a prisoner in my own home.

This is ridiculous. He's not genuinely sad about not being with you if he would rather pee on the bed than climb down and follow you if you go out of the room. He is just trying to manipulate you into staying with him and ignoring any and every other possible call on your attention. You absolutely have to put your husband and child first. If the rehomers are happy to take him so soon, frankly you should go for it.

faerietales · 04/06/2025 09:20

Nominative · 04/06/2025 00:08

This is ridiculous. He's not genuinely sad about not being with you if he would rather pee on the bed than climb down and follow you if you go out of the room. He is just trying to manipulate you into staying with him and ignoring any and every other possible call on your attention. You absolutely have to put your husband and child first. If the rehomers are happy to take him so soon, frankly you should go for it.

Show quote history

He’s not being manipulative or choosing to pee on the bed rather than leave the room - he’s suffering with a serious behavioural disorder thar means he’s so anxious when OP leaves that he’s unable to think or act logically.

faerietales · 04/06/2025 09:23

Twiglets1 · 03/06/2025 20:20

There’s no shame in rehoming him if you feel that’s the best option @CosmicCuppa You sound at the end of your tether. Maybe talk it over a bit more with the pug rescue people.

A different set up may suit him better, it’s worth a try.

But let’s be realistic - who is going to want to take on an 8yo pug with behavioural issues who toilets on beds, sofas and floors?

OnyourbarksGSG · 04/06/2025 10:25

Your dog is a dog and he’s not a baby. Honestly, this is a mess of your own making and you need to start treating him like a DOG.

Coffeeishot · 04/06/2025 10:51

I'm sorry you.are so distraught about this, the rescue was quick in replying keep them in mind , I know you love your dog but he is a dog and maybe you need some training in treating him like a dog.

BangersAndGnash · 04/06/2025 10:56

CosmicCuppa · 03/06/2025 18:17

I contacted a pug rescue last night out of sheer desperation right before I cried myself to sleep at the thought of him being so sad without me if they took him. Woke up to an email and text from them saying they could collect him this weekend. Couldn’t bring myself to message them back.

I really am the only person he loves. When people say don’t leave him, I genuinely don’t. I work from home four days a week now in a new job and I’ve been home for years full time WFH and then on maternity leave. Apart from nipping to Tesco I very rarely leave him and never for more than two hours. Someone is always in the house with him. It doesn’t matter. It’s me or nobody in his eyes, the poor baby.

If this was ‘normal’ separation anxiety I’d be able to cope better but going to the room next door to tend to a crying baby for four minutes and for him to have peed on the bed knowing he could climb down and follow me is exhausting. Even if I take him off the bed, out of the room, close the door etc he’ll pee in the hall because my attention is elsewhere. Even when I’m in the bath and he’s in the bathroom with me, he’ll whine, cry and pee because he can’t get to me.

Now I have one mandated day in the office so as of next week I have to be in one day a week. DH will have to look after him and the baby both screaming while I’m gone because the dog makes the baby cry with how loud and consistent his wails are.

I’m going to make an appointment with a new vet and have a discussion but not with the view to PTS. He really is my baby but he’s a baby who’s making me a prisoner in my own home.

And will you be crying yourself to sleep, cuddled up to your pug, when your DH re-homes himself?

Goldusty · 04/06/2025 11:17

dontcomeatme · 03/06/2025 07:52

I could have written this post but it was my OH the dog was obsessed with. I eventually did have a breakdown. She peed everywhere, she would try and chew through wood if my OH wasn't home, she constantly barked and screamed and whined and then she started pooping in the house shortly after the weeing started. We tried positive reinforcement, we tried behaviourist, doggy day care, training courses, separation anxiety medication, the plug ins, the all natural calming meds, countless vet bills. It was an absolute nightmare. She constantly woke the kids up or disturbed them, no one was happy. I had done the school run one day, came home and I stood crying in the house. She had peed and pood in the kitchen but then kept running back and forth through jt and jumping up at the doors and windows so there was literal shit everywhere. I had to carry my DC and find somewhere to put him so I could try and clean up without him touching it 😢 I was soooo done. No one in the house was happy.

We did rehome her, she's with a retired older couple now and she just transferred her obsession from my OH to the new man. She can sit on their laps all day and they never go anywhere without her. Honestly, everyone involved is a million times happier. You should seriously look into it. And I know people sating PTS is too extreme, no its not at all. You have a severely anxious dog and if you can't rehome you seriously can't expect your family or your dog to keep going like this? Its not feasible or sustainable, no one in your situation is happy, especially not the dog.

Helpful post. I think we can completely underestimate the impact one little creature can have on a family unit. If you are out of ideas and behaviour advice it might be wise to consider other options. It's hard to make such decisions, but justified .

hairbearbunches · 04/06/2025 11:24

How old are your kids? You mention a toddler. Was your dog getting all the attention before they came along? The dog is 8, that’s potentially 6 years of having all the attention. The dog has been pushed down the pecking order through no fault of his own. Pugs are known for their incredible loyalty to one member of the household. It sounds like he was your baby and then you had the real thing. Poor dog. They are wonderful little creatures and they thrive on human companionship. He’s got used to the way things were and you changed them, not him.

I agree with PPs who are suggesting your DH starts feeding him. The way to a pug’s heart is directly via his stomach! Good luck. I hope you manage to keep him as a valued member of the family.

LizzieSiddal · 04/06/2025 12:48

This dog is making you and you dh miserable. Phone the dog rescue place and ask them to take him.