My pug is ruining my life

[CosmicCuppa]

I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I have an eight year old pug with a very anxious attachment style. He’s a full on lap dog and cries miserably if he’s away from me for any minute. If I leave the house and he’s home with DH or the DC’s he won’t sit with them and sits crying and barking on the stairs until I come home.

I work from home but I will need to go into the office one day a week starting in a few weeks. He sits in a bed next to my feet all day every day, we go for walks and then he’s back right next to me.

He’s now taken to peeing on my bed every time I leave the room for even a few seconds (to tend to toddler DS for instance). We use enzyme cleaners everywhere but he just keeps going. He pees everywhere when I’m out of sight even if we’ve just gone to the garden together and he’s peed. Sometimes I need a bath or to use the toilet and he’ll pee in the hallway.

It’s ruining my life and I’m starting to dread every day with him. I’ve tried everything but nothing stops him unless he’s right next to me. I can’t rehome him because he only wants me but DH is getting to the point where he’s really unhappy in his own home because of the dog and I’m scared to do anything because the dog is just untrainable.

What the hell do I do? Is it cruel to rehome him? He’s been checked over by a vet and they say he’s just anxious and I’ll have to live with it. I have no idea what causes him to be this way though - he’s been like it forever but now with added peeing.

Does anyone have any ideas because I’m honestly on the verge of a breakdown and crying constantly over it. We have nobody to take him for a short period or anything like that. I just don’t know what to do.

I don’t know … a friend tried that with her cockerpoo and her dog started to behave well on the residential course but then resumed the bad habits once she got home.

It’s an awful lot of money for no guaranteed improvement back home.

Putting him down would be better than rehoming him? You're off your rocker.
And you have a pug too which makes your suggestion even worse. 😒

I had a pug until he was almost 12 when his back legs gave out and he was almost fully incontinent. He was part of the family but absolutely batshit crazy and caused no end of stress. I did get him past the clinginess with me as it was ruining life for everyone and was not possible to manage during a pregnancy and house move. I’d tried lots of things but this is what worked. You have to be like a tough alpha with them. Not saying hitting but your face needs to show real displeasure, you growl low when talking and you walk away firmly to show displeasure and unacceptable behaviour. I got my DP on board at the time to then be the one to offer comfort. Over a few weeks it stopped the dog following and smothering me. It was better. Not perfect as honestly I think some pugs are genetically inbred as to be basically untrainable crazy messes poor things. But it stopped him being rehomed and gave him a long life as a family pet. It still came with a lot of sacrifices though to keep him - no holidays abroad and always in a dog friendly caravan most of time or £50 a day specialist home pet sitting service. Lots of house accidents. Lots of health issues. OCD constant licking till he’d make his paws soar etc etc. But once I started being the grumpy alpha and not the pug servant/comfort blanket it did get better!
Best of luck!
ps if you do rehome him please be kind on yourself. People will flame you here but no one realises that some dogs are definitely hard work!

You can’t never leave a dog. The OL can’t even shower without the dog peeing everywhere. The op has a job. The dog isn’t left alone.

Poor poor dog

You should have dealt with this years ago, he should never have got into such a state.

There are good behaviourists that would have helped you years ago and eased the dog's separation anxiety.

Meanwhile you could look into belly bands / nappies for use only when he is separated from you ?

I have a pug who had separation anxiety, I had a behaviourist and everything. What worked was leaving him with my friend for a weekend. He loves other dogs and she had a beagle and he was distracted enough by her to reasonably ok. When I came back, he was so much better. How is your pug with other dogs? Maybe a companion would help?

It probably didn't work as a lot of dog training is about training the owner, not just the dog.

If the owner has not also been trained, the dog will go straight back to the same situation/ owner behaviour that was causing the undesired behaviours and so will return to them.

I’ve got a very neurotic pug x Chinese crestie and she’s an indiscriminate pisser and incredibly anxious.

You need to get another trainer and try again. I don’t mean this to sound rude but you don’t just create a dog, it tastes weeks of positive reinforcement and consistency to get them to that state and they go in voluntarily, you don’t just shiver them in. Also what you think of as protest peeing, it’s absolutely not. Your dog USA’s peeing from fear. You need your DH to taper him out for walks and start providing food and treats. You need to treat your dog like a dog and not baby it. Buy a few lucky matts and shear his favourite pate/cheese staff on it and only give it to him when you step away and keep the step away very brief. The licking motion releases soothing/calming hormones and eventually he will learn that you stepping away = tears and happiness. But you have to be 100% consistent. And if none if this works or you can, you need to either remove the husband or get the dog pts as nobody else will want him and he will only suffer in a kennel with no support human.

Sorry for the spelling misstated, I’m making breakfast and have great fingers. Licky mats- pate/cheese spread . Work up to crating, get rid of the husband.

Yes - I do think that was partly the case with my friend.

It can mean these expensive residential courses don’t work unless the owner is staying there too!

it is very difficult to find a new home for a pug even without these issues. The absolute worst thing for him would be to be rehomed to a home who can’t cope with him, and then shuttled off again to another home. That would be massively traumatic for him. A breed specific rescue should be able to help and if not pts could be the only solution to stop him suffering if the owner is no longer prepared to help him.

It seems to me this dog is suffering. I don't understand the posters who get mad at the suggestion of PTS. If this dog was in physical pain without any option to treat or relieve that pain, would you still not consider it? It is a last resort, but if OP and her family can't relieve this dog's severe anxiety or find a suitable home, then surely PTS is the only option left, rather then leave this poor dog in its current suffering.

Totally agree with you both. You owe it to the dog to try everything possible to. Use another vet, yours sounds useless, look for another, specialist behaviourist, research a specialist rescue group.

Seriously? This is a human man who is the father of the OP's child and you think he should be put out of the house he pays for because of a dog? World's gone mad!

This 👆

@CosmicCuppa how did you find your behaviourist? Check out the ABTC
https://abtc.org.uk/

You will be able to find a registered behaviour specialist in your area.

You either train him or put him to sleep. Rehoming is not an option.

And I agree: he's not protest peeing, he's peeing because he's frightened.

Put your child and husband first and make your decisions from this standpoint.

I also wondered about this as I knew a family with six pugs, who were all very relaxed, happy and good tempered. I know someone locally who has three. They do seem to be a breed that is much happier with another dog. It’s the ones I’ve known who are the only pet in the family who have seemed particularly clingy and stressed.

I agree with the other posters who have said to try another vet, another behaviourist and if all else fails, have him put to sleep. He isn't rehomable. He's had a good life and you've clearly done your best. But you, your family and the dog can't continue like this. You can't let a dog run your life and I say this as a dog lover. And given how distressed the dog is, it would be in his best interests too. Like I say, try another vet and behaviourist first if you can afford it but don't feel guilty if you have to put him to sleep.

I agree with this

I think you should send him to daycare a couple of days a week.
Somewhere where there are other dogs for him to play with and hang out with.
He needs to understand that life goes on without you!
Plus you would get a break and he would get more socialised

Ask your vet for Prozac for it. Give it a month or so to see if it helps, then think about getting another behaviourist. Prozac can be really helpful for animals like this.

Have you watched the Dog Academy on channel 4? There’s a couple of episodes with dogs with separation anxiety on them. As extreme as your dog. They have some good techniques you could try.

Me neither. Being PTS is not the worst thing that can happen to a dog that is clearly suffering. Obviously all other avenues such as behaviourists/meds should be explored first but it doesn’t sound like rehoming would work in this situation.