My furbaby

[Skates]

So I’m a man. I live with my little French bulldog who is my absolute world. He’s 6 years old. From a puppy he’s always slept on my bed and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So I met a girl. We get on great but unfortunately she thinks dogs shouldn’t be allowed on the furniture or sleep on the bed. We haven’t spent a night together as I won’t leave my dog to stay at hers and she won’t sleep at mine because my dog sleeps with me. I can’t see this relationship going anywhere and she says I’m being unreasonable putting my dog before her needs. I’ll always put my dog before any relationship. AIBU?

I admire your love for your 'furbaby' @Skates and I think a man who loves animals can be a good catch. A man who is cruel to animals (or even dislikes them) is a massive no-no for me. And animals are precious/worth looking after, and can be great company for people, and like a family member.

But your love for your dog is just a bit OTT. A bit much. You're never going to get a woman to stay with you if you always prioritise your dog over any woman you meet. Wanting the dog to sleep in the bed is ludicrous, and I would never get into a relationship with a man who wanted his dog to sleep in the bed with us! 😬As a pp said, you don't have to hate/dislike dogs to not want to share a bed with one (especially someone else's dog!)

As I said much earlier in the thread, I hope you enjoy being single, because with your attitude/the way you're behaving, you'll be staying that way for a long time. Also, I think most women are going to get the ick at a man calling his dog his 'fur baby.' It's just a bit WEIRD...

Good luck finding a woman, and one who will stay with you and your 'fur baby.' You're gonna need it!

You’ve answered your own dilemma with your final sentence in your OP.

if you will never put a relationship ahead of your dog, then a relationship isn’t going to work.

I love animals. But if my partner put his pet before me then we wouldn’t be together.

The gf has to go, she's 100% unreasonable to ask you to change what you do, and she knows that, she should just have broken it off earlier.

Non-dog people are NOT my people.

All my animals come before people, my life fits around them (dogs & horses) not the other way round. Luckily my DP is an animal person too and slotted right in

My friend has a guide dog and she most definitely refers to him as her fur baby!

Incorrect. You are an irresponsible dog owner who does not know how to appropriately treat a dog.

You are exactly the type of person who should not have one.

Pets shouldn’t be allowed on beds .

Omg he’s beautiful!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Beautiful boy 😍

I agree with your decision OP. Anyone that came along and decided that they were more important than my dogs (that were there before them) would be off, I'm afraid.
Luckily my dp feels the same about animals as I do. We wouldn't be together otherwise.

Jeez, hyperbole much? The only thing we know about this woman is that she doesn't want to sleep in the same bed as a dog.

100%. It’s very reasonable not to want to share bed with a dog. It’s not very hygienic. Also they move around and can disturb sleep. Hopefully OP will find a partner who doesn’t mind dog in bed. Clearly he wasn’t into his gf too much or he wouldn’t choose dog in bed over relationship with gf.

Our animals are definitely part of the family. We take joy in them and when they have died or had to be pts, we have mourned them sincerely.

Good God, there are some right miseries on here!

I have three working dogs and they absolutely are all furbabies.

No matter their age or status, all dogs are just little babies. It's the law.

I'd bin off anyone who thought they'd be more important to me than my pets. My dogs are my world and thankfully, my husband is normal and understands this, because they're also his world. Nothing better than lying in bed surrounded with furry bodies full of warmth and love. Dogs are the purest of souls and I'd rather their company over humans any day.

What on earth are you on about? 😂 Helmet.

My dog sleeps on my bed.
It isn't just that I'd not want to have a partner sleep over thus not let my dog on the bed, I'd have a problem because dogs get used to being allowed/not allowed to do things and my dog would take time to get used to not being allowed on the bed.
It isn't that you're putting your dog before her per se, more so that you have this dog that does this thing and she won't accept it.

My dog isn't a service dog but she's definitely more than a pet. She's potentially saved my life, enables me to live alone without anxiety, protects me walking at night and has kept me going through abusive relationships, family issues and all manner of things that life has thrown at me as a single person.
I love all animals, but me and her have been together since she was a neonate and nobody else has shown the loyalty she has.

I wouldn't say 'furbaby' myself but I don't think It's nice to bully someone just because they prefer a different term to me. I hate the term 'picky' in reference to food, and some of my friends use it. I might jokingly say something about me not liking it but I forever defend their right to use whatever word they see fit.

Helmet 🤣🤣 Haven't heard that for a while, love it.

As a massive dog lover I would put my dogs before a new relationship, my dogs sleep downstairs, but your house, your dog, therefore your rules.

'Furbaby' is a bit cringe though.

Dogs are the purest of souls and I'd rather their company over humans any day

Dogs are not the purest of souls. They have been selectively bred by humans to crave and need human company. Humans did this to satisfy their own needs and desires. Your dogs do not see you as an individual person with your own unique qualities that they love and adore you for. They bond to you because they have no choice not to. Humans have hard wired that into them.

Other humans who love you, will see you as an individual person who they love for your own unique combination of attributes.

The people I know in RL who say they love dogs more than humans are all people will significant difficulties in forming relationships with others. Either autistic, or have trauma or other emotional/mental health issues which means they are very easily upset by other people's perceived behaviour. Because of this they continually perceive themselves to have poor experiences with other humans, and this causes them to retreat in prefering animals.

I would never put an early dating relationship ahead of my dog. He went with me on dates, and sleeps on the sofa or on the bed or wherever he wants. I think it’s important not to hide who you are or your way of living.

If someone in the early days told me what to do with my dog or asked to leave him at home then i wouldn’t, but as the relationship progresses then I might go the the cinema or something.

So unlike other posters here I don’t think it is a dealbreaker in all relationships- just the wrong ones.

Your use of the word furbaby though. Boke.

You are clearly not compatible. I wouldn't date someone who's dog slept on his bed either but that's neither here nor there. Go find a lady who is happy to share her bed with your furbaby.

Your house, your dog, your rules

Regarding ASD, this is not my experience at all. In fact most autistic people I've known have had real issues with even having a basic bond with dogs (I used to work with autistic people in a therapy-focused setting). Many of them saw them mainly as 'things', objects, rather than an animal. Or wanted them because they liked the look of them or had an interest in the breed or such. Of course neither of our experiences have to be typical, but that's an illustration of how neither can be a blanket statement.

What a load of shite 😆

”Furbaby” is just code for “lacking something in life”, which for the majority of those who call their animals “furbabies”, is children. Not always, but mostly.

There are a lot of people making bold statements in this thread without much to corroborate them.

This 100%