Help for a newbie - dog

[Ilovecashews]

As a family we love animals but in the past 15 years only had cats. I have now discovered that daughter is allergic to cats (not badly) and she’s always wanted a dog anyway. We have also discovered that she is neurodivergent and have agreed that having an animal she wants and will certainly love would do her good, a lot of good. We have always adopted for the usual reasons. I don’t know what to do in this case though. We could go to the local shelter and pick the saddest/oldest/sickest dog and be totally fine with that. However she’s met a few border collies and loved their character, and I can see her taking an active role in training, teaching tricks, running around most of the day with one/a puppy if we went down that road. The rest of the family would be onboard with that too. I know that puppies are lots of work etc, but I’ve done harder things for my daughters so that’s something I can do.

The problem I have is the morality of it. Paying for a dog, having another dog pregnant for my pleasure, knowing that one dog in a shelter is going to miss on a frankly fabulous life because I wanted to pick a breed.

Can you help me decide by telling me about your experiences on all of the above?
Thank you

The child is allergic to cats, not dogs, so any dog will do for that.

Some people on this thread should stop thinking that they are the protectors of All Dogs from bad families. It's hilarious that I cannot expect to:

1- get a dog who will be part of the family but help teach a child in particular about responsibilities and long-term care and friendship. What happens when the child is not at home to feed the dog but dog feeding is her responsibility? The dog will go without dinner, of course! What if she asks to get a trainer so that she can learn how to communicate successfully with the dog? Hell no! You need to fail because a handful weirdos on mumsnet say so! Taking the dog to the vet with me? Nah, we need to prove to the weirdos above that we are totally irresponsible dog owners.

2- get a dog who will 'feel the love' my family can give and therefore like to snuggle up or pass time with my child/ren. What happens if the dog comes into the room while we watch a movie and wants to join in family time? We will kick him out in the garden because that's where dogs are supposed to stay!

3- get a dog that I can take on walks and play ball with. Got the message, first time my child wants to do so I will lecture her on why dogs are not bought for her fun and amusement and therefore she will never be allowed to do that!

I mean, I am almost 55, I have managed to raise children without getting them killed, I have fought very bad illnesses, I have psychologically survived very dear people's deaths, I have 4 degrees, managed to keep a job for decades, visited some really dodgy countries and came out alive, and even today, I can comfortably say I am not doing that bad, however yeah, a rescued or purchased dog will be my demise and will show how shit a human being I (and my entire family!!) is or will be.

To the other posters, who are telling me helpful information, thank you!

'Would you and daughter consider an Airedale? '

My daughter would consider any and all dogs (or other animals really!) who showed an interest in her, she absolutely loves dogs and has asked for one forever, so I will do my research on them, I have seen many around but know nothing about them.

Thank you for the rest of your message too!

I will also check if there are dog shows and whatever else was mentioned above, it might be a fun family day out and we can get some info on the dogs we see. For those who do them or have attended them (I have never), can you go up to the owners and talk to them? At the end of the show?

There is a lot of standing around at shows while waiting for your class to be judged so yes, you can speak to people and meet their dogs. Most people will be happy to talk about their breed.

We aren't weirdos @Ilovecashews just caring dog owners. In fact one of the people here is a vet (no, not me).
I'm sorry if you feel that you've received a kicking from some of us, myself included.

Please do your research before getting a dog. Going to a show would be a good move.
I'm neurodiverse and I personally feel you would be far safer looking for a puppy for your daughter to help to rear than taking on a rescue dog with unknown history. Rescue dogs often tend to have more problems than rescue cats. .
I understand the Adopt Don't Shop sentiment but with a purebred pup from a reputable breeder with health-checked bloodlines, you will have a much better idea of what you are getting.
You already acknowledge that it is a massive commitment, so you need to get it right.

If you have the time, I highly recommend Crufts at the NEC Birmingham.
Going to other dog shows can be tricky. Of course there is a lot of waiting around, but sometimes it's just not practical if the owner & dog are ready to compete. Often smaller events have only a small selection of breeds or types of dogs.
Better to go to bigger events with lots of different dogs and related activities.

This might be helpful:
www.thekennelclub.org.uk/events-and-activities/events/

My point was that the dog should view that the thing you've asked it to do is obligatory. As soon as it ignores you once, it learns that it doesn't need to listen to you. I never said it was easy, just that it is a failure of training / requirement for further training.

That statement doesn't infer any criticism to the trainer as there are many reasons that a dog learns to ignore the trainer / handler. Breed, inconsistency, multiple people in the house, and unfinished training. And even after all that there will always be that one time. And, of course, I've had it myself and have had to adapt to minimise it. Then, once I think I've cracked it, then next customer has a dog that schools me all over again.

I concede that it may have been an inflammatory statement, as I forgot momentarily that I am in the company of experienced handlers. Most owners have taught their dog to come to them as they put its food down in a completely sterile environment, and then expect it to break off from chasing a deer from half way across the park (Fenton anyone?).

The more work put into a dog, the better choices it will make.

When I mentioned waiting around I was thinking more of outdoor Championship Shows with large classes, but I guess the season is almost over. So yes, you're probably right and Discover Dogs at Crufts would make sense.

We had the same dilemma with my 10yr old asd daughter. She wanted a Border Collie because of the amazing Collie that was in her private counselling sessions. She also wanted to do all the training and a dog sport.

In the end we got a Welsh Sheepdog from.the breeder who is out crossing them to rough collies.

It started out well mu daughter dod the puppy training classes and a couple of hoopers one to ones. Then she went into autistic burnout and has not been able to do anything for 11 months soni took over.

We went into it with our eyes open and had a back up plan. Luckily I enjoy dog teaining and already compete in Hoopers with our other dog.

We have found our sheepdog to have a good off switch at home but does need at least 2 45 minutes walks a day along with a few 5-10 minute training sessions a day.

After the puppy classes we did a foundation set of classes and now do dingbatts training online which is brill as she is a collie specialist.

I will say there are a fair number on there who have noise and movement sensitivity issues she if you do go for a collie choose your breeder wisely.

Sorry for the typos, on my phone.