Nightmares about new dog

[sleepfortheweek]

We have a rescue dog, who we have had for nearly 12 years. She'll be 13/14 years old and we love her so much. She is the best dog ever, so calm and gentle, and is the perfect family dog.

I have always wanted another dog - but with two young kids it wasn't really an option and DH was always against it. Our dog is set in her ways now, she doesn't mind other dogs but I think she prefers her own company. She doesn't like it if dogs are too full on, and will tell them off, but happy to be near dogs otherwise.

Anyway, a dog came up recently on the rescue centre's Facebook page...he looks so similar to our dog and his story is almost identical. It really pulled at me, and for the first time ever DH said that he thought perhaps a second dog wasn't the worst idea now the kids are a bit older (10 and 7) and we should maybe meet him.

We met him twice, both times with our other dog and children. Both meets went well and dogs were off lead with few issues. The only things that happened which took me aback was the "new" dog jumped on our dog (both on leads at the time) with excitement and our dog barked at him. It took us by surprise as she never barks 🤣. No hackles or other aggression - I think she was just taken by surprise.

Our kids LOVED him. He was extremely playful and they loved playing fetch with him. DH was also besotted with him, and I'd be lying to say I didn't feel the same! He's a lovely dog, and I really think we can give him a good home.

But....

Since agreeing to take him home (which has been delayed by a couple of weeks due to him being poorly) I keep having horrible nightmares about the dogs being aggressive towards each other, and even random dogs in my dreams attacking me. I'm now so anxious that we are ruining our older dogs last years by introducing a younger bouncy dog (he's about 2). I have this horrible sinking feeling in my stomach...and I know it sounds ridiculous but it's the same kind of feeling I got when I was pregnant with DD2 thinking that we had ruined DD1s life 🙈🙈

If you could please flood me with positive stories about bringing a new dog into your home with an older dog I would love to hear them - then perhaps I'll have dreams tonight rather than nightmares!

Long post - Sorry!

i was going to post to say I thought you were being unreasonable but then Rtft. I think you took a bit of a risk but am really pleased it worked out for you all.

I think some are worse than others. The one we went through are very helpful. When we first got our older lurcher we lived in a 3rd floor flat.

We have a 10yo and 7yo which might have been a stumbling block with other rescues too

Such a wonderful update, thank you! I happily admit I was wrong :)

Another one here who admits to being one of the naysayers, and is very happy to now come and eat humble pie...

Thanks for updating; you are doing brilliantly with both your gorgeous dogs and it just goes to show that really, there is no simple answer to questions posed here, because every situation (and every dog) is different.

Thought I'd give a photo update - I'd go as far as to say our older dog actually LIKES new dog. She's spending so much more time with us and just seems more enthusiastic about life. It's so nice to see. She doesn't even get annoyed with him anymore in the morning when he rubs his face against hers with excitement. They walk right beside each other on walks, and she seems to genuinely enjoy his company.

Love the update OP happy for you and your doggo

@sleepfortheweek ahhh that's so lovely! I'm really pleased for everyone (dogs included!) that it's all working out 🥰

Oh, what a lovely outcome! Gorgeous photos. I can see the similarity between them. Sometimes I see a rescue dog that looks a bit like my girl and it's funny how strong the desire to rescue them is.

And thank you for getting a lurcher, so overlooked but very often an easy, chilled, gentle dog. There are so many in rescue centres up and down the country that I'd be truly amazed if a suitable owner couldn't find one to adopt (unlike, say, spaniels, in which most in rescue will need a particular kind of home).

I wouldn't have any other type of dog now - my mum and dad had a big deerhound lurcher which started off my love of the breed. We've got two now and my brother has one too! Great dogs

Couldn't agree more about lurchers. Our rescue lurcher girl is 14 this year and has early dementia sadly. When she goes I will be looking for an old lurcher as I'm old myself now!

Nope wouldn't do it to my 10 year old dog. Yes she gets on fine with other dogs but her house is her space and has been for almost the 10years. I would love another dog but not when it's unfair to the old one

That was my worry - but we did bite the bullet and worked out great for us. Every dog and house is different though.

Sad update.

Our older dog passed away at the beginning of April. Very peacefully, from natural causes. We are heartbroken, and there’s a pain in my chest that just won’t shift.

I’m grateful that our new dog was there with her at the time, so she wasn’t alone. I caught him on our dog camera going up to sniff her and standing beside her (which he wouldn’t normally do for any great length of time as he respected her boundaries). I think this is perhaps when she passed.

Having another dog here has been so beneficial to us all, especially our DC. The new dog misses her , and now howls whenever we leave the house. He’s getting much better though, and I’m hoping time will heal.

Nothing can replace our precious dog. She truly was one in a million, we couldn’t have asked for anything more from her. She’s been through everything with us and has only ever brought us happiness.

we are back down to being a one dog household, and I think it will be staying that way for the foreseeable future.

RIP Jess - our best girl

oh that is sad

Please don't do this. It's totally unfair on your older dog. I've done it more than once (worked in welfare and for various UK charities - the Facebook 'foreign charities' mostly have no backing that can support you with behavioural issues which you are highly likely to encounter. Foreign breeds/rescues are not the same as a UK rescue. An odd one may be ok, but in the mai they nearly all have behavioural issues.
Of course your family fell for him. Most people can't walk away from a 'puppy' or wanting to 'bring a rescue home', but your older dog must come first. (Even when I've had two who aren't foreign rescues, yes they may play with each other for five minutes a day, but all I end up with are two dogs who want me, 24/7, not each other.)
Dogs move on very quickly - when I've fostered and worked in rehoming, not one dog pined for its owner after 24hrs-they just latch on to the next person who feeds them. Stop humanising the situation - your old dog's needs must come first.

@abracadabra1980 please RTWT or at least the updates. It was a rescue within Scotland (where we live). Never mentioned foreign rescue.

Anyway, I’ll never regret bringing him home and if anything, wish we had done it sooner.