On the verge of rehoming, please advise - Experienced lab owners especially 🙏

[LabHelpPlease]

As title...

Lab is a gorgeous 10 month old dog. There are many practical reasons for rehoming and the main reason not to is simply that I love him.

Won't go into all the ins and outs, the general gist is that our 6yo dd is profoundly autistic and based on experience with a therapy dog at school we thought it would be a potentially huge benefit. Reality is they are mostly kept apart as dog is just too bouncy and boisterous. Have sought advice from a trainer and behaviourist who both say dog is normal for his age, vet slightly disagreed and said he is very excitable and boisterous - too excited to listen.

We are first time dog owners and ultimately think we have bitten off more than we can chew. If I'm really honest not sure we are completely meeting the dogs needs, though not for lack of trying.

Yes, we have been terribly naive and no doubt made many mistakes. I suppose my question to experienced lab owners is - is it normal for a lab of this age to jump up and snap near your face in excitement? Do tthey actually become less excitable? Or should we accept that we are not the right family for this dog?

I know how these threads normally go but I couldn't feel worse than I already do 😭

I think it’s a bit unfair accusing OP of ‘abandoning’ her dog. She will be rehoming him to a more suitable family- labradors are easy to rehome when they are young. She sounds like she has a lot on her plate and is trying to make the best decision for her family as well as the dog. I am a ‘doggy’ person but also completely understand how someone could find themselves in this predicament.

It's totally normal, but it does need discipline. I have working gundogs and they have to be taught exactly how to behave. I do not for one second tolerate jumping on me or snapping, they get my booming voice NO and know i mean it, I stiffen my body and freeze, will stare at them and not release that tension until theyve backed off and calmed down.

But, this puppy is not a therapy dog, they undergo long training and have maturity on their side.

I would say if you dont love him, rehome.

Our lab was a pain at that age & quite rebellious. But we had consistently trained until then and of course carried on with that. He was totally calm and well behaved by 2. He needed a good 2 hours of walking a day at that age though and a lot of stimulation and training.

It’s sounds like he’s behaving normally but you aren’t really able to look after him. Dogs do need lots of time and energy, and you will already be stretched with a child with autism. No one can really tell you what to do- you will have to decide what is best for your dog and your family.

If you think it’s best to rehome him just ensure that you’re making sure the next home is the right one for him, and someone who can put in lots of work at this stage to make sure he’s properly trained.

labradors are easy to rehome when they are young.

In the past 6 months I've seen a huge number of labradors looking for new homes, generally between 8 and 18 months. Normally, they're few and far between (I follow a lab rescue)

You should rehome. You got this dog for a specific purpose that he is not able to fulfil. Your home is not a good fit for him. He is not a good fit for your daughter. Your poor daughter should not live with an animal that frightens her. If she is autistic I imagine the outside world is challenging enough. Her home should be a place of safety where she can decompress. Not somewhere with a frightening element she needs to be kept separate from.

The dog wil be fine once rehomed. We have bred dogs to attach to a human carer and any carer will do. Your dog does not love you for your special qualities, in the way you love him, he is bonded to you simply and solely because you are his current carer. His affection will shift effortlessly once he has a new carer.

He will be happier and your daughter will be happier.

Personally, you’ve done the first hard puppy stage, now you’ve got the teenager stage, which sometimes means going back to basics and keeping up the training. Tethering dog on a lead is very good at getting puppy to understand that he relaxes whilst DD is around. I would get some in house training, maybe section off house with a play pen for puppy. Could puppy go to day care, say just mornings, to tire him out so he will leave DD alone.

That's interesting - I wonder why.

I do think a lot of people get labs as they've got a reputation for being easy to train and biddable, but they don't realise how much work is actually required to get them to that calm stage!

Retrievers, be they lab or goldies are big, excitable, silly, frustrating and annoying puppies for a long time. 2 years minimum. In my experience they have 2 big difficult stages, around 10m and around 15-18m, where they forget all training and seem to be as naughty and headstrong as is humanly possible. Like teens testing boundaries. It's normal. Try and bear that in mind, it's much easier if you understand that it's just a normal phase of their development. A lot don't get it, aren't prepared for it and aren't willing to do the work, so that's why you see a lot of labs around 12-18mo old in rescue.

If you remain consistent with a good training plan they do come through it and make wonderful dogs. You do have to have buckets of patience and resilience though. All those lovely, kind, calm retrievers you see out and about were hard won.

I have 2 labs - one trained as a puppy by me, the other rehomed as a young adult.
They are both working line dogs and both calm and sweet around people and dogs.

Older male was an absolute hooligan at 10 months. Not nipping by then, but full of energy. I took him to weekly group training, KC good citizen, gun dog work etc. I walked with him and eventually ran with him.It took a lot to work off that teenage energy - swimming was and is still the best way to tire them.

It does rather sound as if there are conflicting needs between your DD and your puppy. And it may well be that your DD will always struggle to relax around him , given she has memory of his current behaviour.

If you can spare the time for a lot more training and exercise, then your lab will benefit, but otherwise, rehoming, via a rehome charity, would be my advice.

If you can't meet his needs look at LUKAG on Facebook. They are a Labrador rehoming group. Very reputable and nice people.

There's a massive influx in Ireland, too. The rescue we got our gsdxgr from, black retriever cross rescue, is advertising loads of labs because they are young, healthy, and in danger of PTS because the pound is overflowing.

My labradoodle "snaps" and always has done. She nibbles ears and air-snaps too. She can knock glasses off your face. We have worked hard and she is much better. She is not allowed to jump up. However, she doesn't get it all the time so I am glad our kids are adults.

We find it endearing so are happy with her. I really think it's her personality. She's now 7, so think this is it. But as a pup she nipped and humped so we have come a long way.

Our lab cross (high proportion of lab) is 21 months old and is now starting to calm down a little. Every day slowly gets a little bit easier and neutering does seem to have helped but if you read up there are a lot of conflicting views on the impact of this.

We need to be on it with training, little and often, every day. He is still quite 'mouthy' and will gently 'hold' hands etc when in a playful mood, occasionally try to nibble at dangly bits of clothing etc. Ours needs lots of exercise, lots of opportunities to chew and lots of brain games and sniffing games. We play 'find it' with smelly treats, hide things in egg boxes or toilet roll tubes etc. Kongs and licki mats go down well too. Ours does still jump up at people when they come in - it's a work in progress. Lots of good advice out there around this but we don't have many visitors so not always the most consistent with training. We tend to pop his lead on until he calms. Our trickiest aspect is reactivity to other dogs - he really really wants to PLAY! And as a rescue maybe don't get the best early start with doggie manners.

It's hard work and has been really really hard work. Especially establishing calm behaviours around the children. Definitely underestimated the impact and effort needed! A lab owner told me the other day that he'll probably calm down at 6-7. Can't wait 🤣 but we are now at the point where we all understand each other a little better.

I say these on a lot of these threads… people seriously over romanticise the idea of dogs and ND people, especially children.
The reality is often very different, and ND children struggle to cope with very normal dog behaviour and things such as stimming really upset/over stimulate dogs and it quickly becomes a disaster.

Id rehome.

I think you should re-home.

Let's face it, when you have a ND child, parenting takes way more time, effort and expense than average (and presumably haven't even got to the joy of the primary to secondary transition yet and all the associated paperwork).

Not fair to anyone. Admit it was a mistake and do something about it.

On the golden retriever topic - one of my friends has one, about the same age as OP’s lab. Lovely dog, calmer than the average Labrador. Last week she accidentally barrelled in to my friend’s mum (who is a very capable 70 year old), who fell awkwardly and broke her leg. They’re lovely dogs, but they are also big, strong, excitable dogs and should not be taken lightly.

I really appreciate all the responses, thank you.

To clarify about the 'snapping' - I dont know how else to describe it - he jumps high near your face and snaps his mouth shut. It is not an attempt to bite. When he was doing it to the behaviourist she stood calmly and ignored him, and actually said there is no aggression in him at all. So perhaps snapping is the wrong word in the sense that it isn't a pre bite warning, however as others have pointed out he's a big dog and people do find it intimidating.

We do do lots of enrichment and brain games, he is trained throughout the day, however we are inexperienced and I don't doubt with a different family he would be further forward in his training by now.

I would 💯 be committed to really pushing on with his training but DH feels we have struggled enough and feels enough is enough. Ultimately we both need to be on board and we're not.

A PP said a smaller breed/adult dog would have been more appropriate which is also what the behaviourist said.

The other reason this is coming to a head now is that the majority of his walking/training is done during school hours and obviously the summer holidays are fast approaching. Yes, we obviously knew about this when we got him, but I naively assumed things would be calmer and more settled here by then, not that we would still be separating dog and dd ☹️

I have found Labs to be lovely family dogs - but they are big. i have also found King Charles cavalier dogs to be lovely family dogs - however they can have health issues/problems. Beagles too are lovely but can be a lot to train, so stay away from them :)

Are you giving him alot of mental stimulation? Aswell as walks you need to be giving him puzzle toys to do to tire him out more, also have you got a crate? They are a very good space to use for him to settle and rest.

It’s the word snapping that’s the issue here, it indicates pre bite. And aggression, and it seems he’s just an excitable puppy.

poor dog, being rehomed will be incredibly traumatic, and it seems you don’t have either the experience or bandwidth to deal to raise a dog.

What is lots of enrichment? What do you do?
How long are his walks, is he off-lead?
How often are you doing the same walk?

Have you taught him to settle?

What do you feed him?

Have you actually worked with the dog trainer and behaviourist? You seem to be giving up very easily. Poor ddog. Don't ever get another if you rehome this puppy for being a puppy 🙄

Why would you be rehoming him and not contacting his breeder?

What did the behaviourist tell you to do and is it making any difference? And would sticking him on a lead till you retrained the jumping up help? There’s nothing cruel about using a lead as a training aid just because it’s an issue happening inside the house.

As I said, our dog "snaps" in this way. We call it "snappy-snaps" you can hear her teeth click together. It's excitement, but as a young dog she would nip clothes and put holes in them. She also brings toys, I think she just wants something in her mouth in that moment. Maybe you could re-direct to a toy when greeting?

A family member has a rescued lab for this reason.

Bought as a therapy dog, no training given to the poor dog and then sent away at 10 months for acting like a puppy

The poor pet was totally traumatised. He is doing great now after a lot of training and allowed to be a puppy.