On the verge of rehoming, please advise - Experienced lab owners especially 🙏

[LabHelpPlease]

As title...

Lab is a gorgeous 10 month old dog. There are many practical reasons for rehoming and the main reason not to is simply that I love him.

Won't go into all the ins and outs, the general gist is that our 6yo dd is profoundly autistic and based on experience with a therapy dog at school we thought it would be a potentially huge benefit. Reality is they are mostly kept apart as dog is just too bouncy and boisterous. Have sought advice from a trainer and behaviourist who both say dog is normal for his age, vet slightly disagreed and said he is very excitable and boisterous - too excited to listen.

We are first time dog owners and ultimately think we have bitten off more than we can chew. If I'm really honest not sure we are completely meeting the dogs needs, though not for lack of trying.

Yes, we have been terribly naive and no doubt made many mistakes. I suppose my question to experienced lab owners is - is it normal for a lab of this age to jump up and snap near your face in excitement? Do tthey actually become less excitable? Or should we accept that we are not the right family for this dog?

I know how these threads normally go but I couldn't feel worse than I already do 😭

I’m so sorry you have found yourself in such a difficult predicament. I am an experienced dog owner with my first lab who has just turned two. He is well trained but still full on!! Was exactly the same as yours at 10 months and especially excitable around my son, who is now 11 but has an excitable energy himself. Interestingly enough he is much calmer around my daughter who is younger but has a no- nonsense calm energy about her. I think labs are definitely not easy first time owner dogs- I adore dogs and even I still find him a bit full on sometimes!! He is of a working line and needs about two hours of proper exercise (retrieving balls, running and swimming in the woods) every day or he is as mad as a hatter. He is calming down a bit as he gets older (doesn’t do the excitable nibbling, teeth snapping) but can still be quite excitable at home. I suspect he will calm more as he gets older but it’s a long time to wait, especially with your daughter feeling anxious. If you are at do choose to rehome, a young lab will have no issues finding a new home. 💐 x

We had a Labrador for 13years, our first dog.

He absolutely was still jumping up in excitement at this age. Not at us as we trained it out of him by not reacting but he still did it to other people.

But he never jumped and snapped. That is worrying. I don’t doubt he could be trained out of it as it doesn’t sound like he is actually being aggressive. But if you don’t have the time to train him then I would rehome while he’s still young.

Nearly four decades of Labs here. I have never had one that jumped up beyond the first few months and never had one that snapped. A Lab was my first dog too. They need plenty of training and mental games as well as a good hour of exercise by a year old. My current dog is two and we are doing scentwork which we both love. They are brilliant dogs.

Therapy dogs are not just dogs, they have to be trained, like any assistance dog.

Sit down with your family and ask yourself if you have time to walk (1 hour +) and train (2-3 short sessions) each day. Do you have time to take the dog to Training class once or twice a week for the next 12 - 18 months?
The training has to be done by one person and reinforced by the whole family, including DC if possible!
So dog has learnt to sit, get DC to make the dog sit with your help...

If private 1:1 is to expensive, try a local dog club. The Kennel Club has a search facility for that. There are 2 programmes that might benefit you, Good citizen dog scheme and Safe & Sound, obedience & rally would also work.

How much training have you done with him? I have an almost 10 month old lab and she's pretty calm, but she has had training 3 times per day nearly every day since we got her, and weekly dog training classes. We're training her to be an assistance dog so we've worked really hard at 'calm'. She's still very people focused.

You need to teach him what you do want him to do, not what you don't want him to do. Does he have a good 'settle' or 'bed' cue? Will he settle with a chew?

Whereabouts are you? Someone might be able to help you.

We have 2 Labs and they are gorgeous. They make amazing family dogs and it's been brilliant for my son to grow up with them. He calls one of our Labs his best friend and they do loads together. BUT most people seem to think they come lovely, chilled and relaxed. Labs are known to have one of the longest puppy-hoods of any breed - upto 3 years! People often see older Labs and assume that they come with an amazing temperament. Nope - they are like the naughy rascal at school who years later turns out to be one of those few adults that has there shit together. Consistent training is key throughout their early life.

This puppy is still very young and you have a long way to go. If you can't put the time in and give it the training it needs then rehome, but if you keep it and put the work in your child will have a best friend you wanted for them.

Bollocks.

This is why there’s so many fat goldens. They’re considered ‘placid’ when they’re not. They need just as much exercise as a lab.

The only ‘placid’ goldens are the ones that are bloody depressed because of crap Owners not exercising or stimulating them enough.

Rehome your dog OP - it’s young. It’ll be snapped up. A dog shouldn’t be confined or leashed in its own house. It’s cruel.

How much exercise/mental stimulation is he getting?

Exercise, mental stimulation and training are so so important with all young dogs. At ten months you'd expect a lab to be yobbish, that's when you really need to put the work in. I'd think one of the things to work on first is letting your dog know that there are boundaries and he needs to respect your child otherwise you may have real problems in another year.
If you can persevere and get the help you need they can be the most fantastic dogs but as others have said, if you can't put in the time then let the dog would be better going to someone else.

Will you castrate him?

That will have some effect in a couple of months afterwards.

I had a boisterous black lab and he did pipe down after aged two. I have a fox lab now and she's always been very calm so it does depend on the dog.

I walked him a lot when he was grown which kept him tired but as a puppy lab you have to watch it a bit with the exercise.

But they are usually very easy to train.

How much training have you actually done?
How much exercise does the dog get? Going out in the garden doesn’t count unless you’re doing brain exercises or training him.
It needs consistent, regular training and proper exercise to keep a dog happy and if you want him to be an assistance dog then he needs to be trained by a professional.
I am not surprised you’re struggling.

@LabHelpPlease where are you located? If you are within an hour of Winchester, I'll come and give you some tips at no charge.

I am a dog trainer, and I also have a very bouncy lab. Well, he was, he was a rescue with no training when we got him. He is much calmer now.

Our one and only dog died a couple of weeks ago a month short of 15, we got her when DS was 6 and my DD a bit older, she was half lab. A friend reminded me the other day of me saying what have we done, we didn’t know what had hit us, she was so full on. Same friend is an experienced dog owner and had a puppy recently who was really full on and was saying similar about her dog, some are much more full on than others. Her dog has now calmed down, much quicker than ours did.

We had an episode when she was a puppy when she snapped at DD’s face which was very worrying at the time, she got really territorial about a big bean bag and DD was sitting on it.

We got rid of the bean bag and doubled down on training classes. It was a lot of hard work and it took many years for her to calm down. She was about 7 when she did. She became an amazing family dog but it was very very hard work to get her there.

Her snapping was a one off. I think the fact that there have been a few episodes is concerning and you have a lot of hard work to get it sorted out and it is going to be full on and stressful. It might be sensible to see if you can rehome somewhere child free.

I'd say this was normal behaviour, Ive owned labs all my life (I'm 58) and had working and show strains. Nibbling is a way of getting attention and affection and the snapping is pure excitement and frustration. Is your dog in a good routine of training, exercise and rest time? They need consistency and time and patience. Shutting the dog away isnt actually teaching him anything.
Most labs work well for food, Id try puzzle feeders etc to keep him occupied when your daughter is there, I think taking him in the garden to be with your daughter may just encourage excitement.
I'm sure he will transform into a wonderful dog given the time, but you need to be honest with yourself about your ability to give him that time.

We had a lab, also totally underestimated how hard this stage was.

Ours was super jumpy. We had an issue with our dog walker where she would often nip her clothes, tearing them. I went out with her and we saw very quickly that I was training as we went along and therefore “in charge” whereas the dog walker was just fun and games. Which I recount to say that at this age, you have to be training them literally constantly. Which is exhausting, and frustrating because you got a dog to have a companion, and they don’t really feel like one at this point.

We sadly had a massive change of circumstance when ours was 5 (and a
had settled in to a lovely dog) and I ended up rehoming her through Labrador rescue. They were brilliant - sent a very informed guy to meet us, spent time with her in the home and take her out for a long walk to see how she behaved.

My suggestion would be - you sit down as a family and either agree that you’re committing to another year of working really hard with the dog and balancing everything around that (which means time commitment - 2hrs + exercise a day, solid training, and cost to work closely with a behaviourist) or you rehome now. The worst option is to struggle through another six months or a year without really addressing the difficulties, have all the humans and dog totally stressed, and have a dog with bad behaviours in place, which makes him much more difficult to rehome.

After the age of two he will calm down. Getting him castrated will calm him down further. Take him to training classes NOW. Labs are easy to train because they are so driven by food. I’ve recently taken mine and she’s older than yours. They have helped. And compared to some other dog breeds she seems like a genius dog.

I have a 20 month old lab. She’s a bitch so slightly calmer than a dog. She’s is calmer now but my goodness that first year was carnage, she’s so much fun, but the chewing and general ‘mentalness’ nearly sent us over the edge. But she’ll be two in a few months and she’s definitely calmer. After the children go to bed she’s like a different dog. She cuddles up like a baby and doesn’t move an inch from about 8pm till midnight.

I love her so much and the days where I want to pull my hair out are getting fewer and fewer.

Placid golden retrievers my arse.

We also nearly gave our golden up at 9/10 months OP. He was a massive pain in the arse who jumped up and bit our arms for the laughs, on walks he would play attack me and knock me over. DP and I had the talk and had literally decided to contact the breeder to return him. Then our lovely neighbours intervened and helped us reconsider and gave us support with training etc, eventually twat dog matured a little and the silliness stopped.

He’s 6 now and not half as much of a twat. But I shudder thinking back on the adolescent period.

We’ll never ever get a puppy again.

I don't have a lab but I have a working cocker, so some experience with bouncy dogs and autistic kids. I have a house lead. If dog becomes bouncy, silly or demanding, she goes on the lead in the house until she settles. She is now three, and I had to get the house lead out yesterday, as she was trying to eat DS's lunch. It came out most regularly in her adolescent phase!

I don’t think i ever heard our GR growl at a human, he was adorable but if he didn’t get at least two hour walks a day his younger years he turned into a kangaroo.

I have.

There’s two Goldens currently for adoption near me - with aggression related issues.

People get labs and goldens and spaniels because they think they’re good with kids. They fail to realise that any dog can be aggressive and when it’s a ‘family’ (I.e dog considered good with kids) dog it’s even worse - because no one expects it and you get total idiots approaching them to try and pat them without asking (when they wouldn’t with a GSD).

It’s worse with these types of dogs because they’re often chronically under exercised and stimulated (because people get them as they have kids and don’t want to exercise them properly) which always makes the bad behaviour worse…

The behaviour you describe doesn't sound entirely abnormal, but it does sound like you haven't trained your dog properly and are now having to live with the consequences of that.

Labradors are biddable and eager to please but they're also big, strong and excitable so you really do need to put the work in right from the very beginning to get that basic training sorted before they get too big and become a bit of a liability.

If you really feel you've bitten off more than you can chew then it should be very easy to find him a new home, but equally if you put the work in, none of the issues are unsolvable either.

Labradors need lots of exercise, company and consistency - how much exercise is he getting and how long are you spending training and working him everyday?

10-17 months was peak naughty age for our lab. Then he calmed right down. Your dog is very young still and is learning. You are expecting perfection from what is essentially a toddler! Abandoning him at this stage is just plain cruel, bit sadly, the typical age these lovely creatures end up as rescues as the families throw in the towel and cba training them anymore and think ‘I’ve done enough, why isn’t he getting it?’

No no no! I have had three and this is 100% NOT true.

Maybe we got lucky. Ours wasn’t overweight , he loved food but not actually his own food so was always hanging around your feet in the kitchen etc. We actually got him as inexperienced dog owners and yes he was a complete handful as a young dog and bouncy for years but never aggressive. If we get another dog it won’t be a puppy though !!

I wouldn't count on it.

A pack of five golden retrievers recently attacked two dogs near us and nearly killed them. I've seen them out and about since and they are far from placid - they lunge, snap and snarl at everyone and the owner really struggles.

I think one day those days are going to get free of their leads and kill another dog, genuinely. They scare me.