Considering euthanising dog after bite

[Dogheartbreak]

I feel so sick with the weight of this on my mind.
5 years ago, we rescued a dog from a UK charity that brings dogs from abroad. I am an experienced dog owner and wanted to save this dog's life. I have had rescue dogs before.
This dog was/is very nervous and reactive. I have worked with a behaviourist and the vet to improve the dogs quality of life and the improvements have been vast. But he's still a nervous dog and be off lead or anything out and about. I was happy that he loved his life with me, he was well cared for and happy and I would provide a safe and control environment for him to live out his days, walking when it's quieter and using secure fields etc.
I was told when I was younger I couldn't have children. Fast forward to one year after having the dog and I was pregnant. I've since had 2 kids and every precaution and loads of training went into prepping the dog. All was fine and obviously dog and kids never alone or anything. Easier when they were babies as they'd always be in our arms or if on the playmat we would be right there and the dog wasn't interested and has never approached one of the kids. Now they are toddlers and this is becoming so much harder to manage. The dog is visibly anxious if kids are in the same room so we separate and he ends up being in another room alone for hours which is obviously awful. We teach the kids how to behave but obviously they are toddlers and unpredictable, youngest in particular just wants to get to the dog whenever he can see him.
The other day, he was running through the kitchen to go outside and my 1yo reached out from his highchair and grabbed fur on the dogs back. He turned and bit his arm. Thankfully no major damage but had teeth marks and it could have so much worse. I took baby to drs obviously. We are incredibly vigilant but I am now terrified of a gate being left open, or eventually kids being able to open the gate or whatever and something happening.
He's very scared and aggressive towards strangers and I feel that if we weren't so vigilant with gates and the muzzle that he would have bitten someone else by now and could do again.
Obviously controlling the environment to this extent with 2 toddlers around is so hard. With the kids we also have more visitors to the house etc which stress the dog. I can't have the dog on a lead in the house as my kids are always all over me so if we have visitors the dog goes in his dog house in the garden (outside office with sofa and heating etc. he seems happy in there but I don't like doing it for more than an hour).
I feel like I can't have him in the house now this has happened. The rescue offer back up but I've seen them publicly shame people on their Facebook page that have done this. I also think they'll re-home the dog without disclosing the bite history and I could never forgive myself if he bit someone else, or worse
Also the thought of him having to be put down in a strange place. Or if the biting would mean he'd end up in a kennel for the rest of his days.
Please be kind. What can do. I love him so much but can't risk my children.

I agree. If you want a dog, it might be better to wait until the children are older and get a puppy which you can train yourself. The problem with rescue dogs is that you never quite know what has gone on in their lives before they come to you.

I'm not blaming the child, I'm saying the dog reacted to sudden unexpected pain that he couldn't immediately see the cause of. I would also react to something unexpected grabbing my hair as I was walking by.

I wouldn't get another dog now we have young kids.
I have had rescues before but this has been a life changing experience. I am glad I saved him but never ever knew what life with a dog as damaged as this would be. I love him so much.

I think if you rehome this dog you are just passing on the problem.

Just to clarify I think the right thing to do is to PTS, otherwise he could just go on to do this to someone else. You've given him a lovely few years

How dare you suggest PTS! There must be hundreds of people willing to take in a nervous, reactive dog with a bite history!

Meanwhile back in the real world…

OP you’ve done more than most people would be willing to do. You’ve sunk money and time and love into this dog but enough is enough. I know it’s tempting to
pass the problem on but the most responsible, kindest thing is to PTS. You know that and so do most posters.

I work in rescue and will always say you should contact the rescue but sadly many with foreign dogs are not very good, it's weighing up what would happen if he goes back, moved about getting more anxious and a worse incident occurs, perhaps speak to them and state he needs a child free home and you'd keep him until a home comes up.

Plenty of adults out there with experience of dogs like yours that will adopt him

But that’s not true. There are dogs living in kennels for years without finding a home.
It’s drummed into us regularly “adopt don’t shop” because there are so many dogs in shelters.

Under these circumstances PTS is the responsible option. The dog has had years of love, it is still stressed and reactive - kennels, rehab and non-permanent fosters is not a humane choice for such a dog.

Sorry you're going through this OP.

I wouldn't pts if you can rehome the dog it seems very harsh, he's reacted as a lot of dogs do and also people.
He might do well in a home without kids

You've done everything you can. I'm so sorry you're facing this, but PTS must be the most responsible and ultimately kindest option (not kind to you though...)
Courage!

Reading your further posts about how sensitive he is to visitors I really don't see how you have any other option than to put him to sleep.

He is already not exactly a happy dog and he's no longer a safe dog either now. Putting him into a new environment with strangers (if anyone would even take him) is likely to be more stressful for him and the kindest thing to do is say goodbye.

Most reputable overseas rescues require you to hand the dog back rather than euthanise them - it’s in the contract terms- and get very annoyed and upset with people who ignore this and condemn a dog to death when it’s usually the owner at fault, as here.

Oh for goodness sake - he reacts to EVERYONE - EVERY TIME! It is not just children. It is EVERYONE. The OP has shown incredible patience in her responses - which (to me) show how patient she has been with the dog as I would have definitely lost my temper by now with the few people who keep saying "oh - find a home without children". The dog would (from the look of it) only be happy in a home without people. And that does not happen.

Oh - very clever that last little bit of your post. Because you know the OP? You have met her and the dog? There are many overseas rescues which are "reputable" but, when you dig a little, are nothing of the sort. Some are downright weird in the way they operate. They are not even official charities - not registered - and not accountable for funding and how the money raised is being used.

OP, I'm sorry you're in this situation but I think in your shoes I would PTS.

He is not a stable dog. Yes, your toddler grabbed and pulled at his fur, but the dog could have jerked away and yelped, growled or air-snapped rather than biting.

He quite clearly cannot stay in your home unless he is kept away from the DC and that isn't fair on anyone. DC don't always listen, they leave doors open, their visiting friends persuade them that the doggy will like them... It's also unfair on the dog to be shut away virtually all the time. The pressure on you will be considerable.

So is he re-homeable? He is a very difficult dog with a bite history who can't be around children. Only you know how well he would cope with a complete change of scene. If the answer to that is 'badly' you know what you need to do. Even if you think he could cope, you have to find a rescue to take him.

And then you have to consider how long he would be in kennels and whether he would end up PTS in any case - after a lot of stress and without you there.

They are toddlers, and as such difficult to reason with surely! Children have to come before pets, and if the dog can't be around the family then the dog can't be part of the family sadly.

OP sounds like your dog has had some very happy years with you, and it would be cruel to take him to a kennel, and it would be very hard to rehome a dog that has bitten a child. I think your only option, and the kindest option is PTS.

@Wednesdaysotherchild I get that, but I know he will be returned to a kennel while they try to find a home for him which he would absolutely hate, he would be terrified. I also am pretty sure they would re-home home without the previous info. His bio would say
Loves cuddles
Walks perfectly on lead
Excellent recall
Fully house trained and also knows loads of tricks, games, agility
Fully house trained
Friendly with dogs he knows

Because all of this is true and their adverts only ever say positive stuff. I am concerned someone will re-home him without knowing how to manage him properly and he will bite someone. They are clear on how many dogs they have in kennels waiting for adoption, they are absolutely desperate.

You poor thing. Your children must come first, but I suspect you know that

OP - I'm the first to blame owners usually (and I'm always right ;)) however, this isn't your fault. The irresponsible thing to do would be to ignore the signs, leave him in this situation where it sounds like he is constantly stressed and anxious and will be set up to fail.

However, is PTS the only option here? Could he not be surrendered to a rescue? A very reputable one will be honest about his history. There will be a lot of single people out there with experience and a lot of space willing to take him on I bet, and its a better match.

You've loved him and done your best for five years.

You know you are making the best and kindest decision for your dog. He honestly sounds as if much of his life must be stressful and unhappy, despite your very best efforts.

All the people suggesting he just needs a child-free home! That's what you gave him initially. You were an experienced dog-owner and invested in professional training but it doesn't sound like the dog ever really settled, even before your children were born. You cannot keep him. Any shelter/rescue willing to accept him would be irresponsible

We had a rescue cocker spaniel who had bitten the child of its family. It was about seven months old when we got,him. We knew his history, but we live in the country, with no children. He had guarding issues, but we learned to manage it, and he lived with us til he died of cancer aged 8. I've had dogs all my life, and he wasn't the nicest one I've had, but he had a happy life with us. I would see first if there is someone in a similar situation to us who would take your dog. There is a rescue called Many Tears, and you often see pets for rehoming that state no other animals or children.

Your dog will be fine in a home with older children or just adults. He doesn't need to be put to sleep. You need to contact a charity about having him rehomed.

As the owner of a terrier who can bite, I would not be put off adopting a dog with a bite history. It can be managed in a lot of cases, just not really around kids.

The dog was fine until she had kids. It doesn't say anywhere in her posts that she was struggling with him before then.

This is the right answer. So very very sad. We have had several difficult rescues. We have no kids or visiting littles. This is the right answer, you have to do what is best for the whole family, including your dear dog. You are never going to be able to trust him, kids will be kids & will inadvertently pull fur, next time could be a horrific outcome. He has had a lovely home for 5 years, better than streets or kennels & been loved. If you re home, you have no control & if he bites again, who is to say what that person's reaction be? A beating?? The kindest thing to do is PTS, where you can go with him & he will know he was loved.

I agree the only way is to pts. It’s so sad and not the dog’s fault they bit-this problem is nothing to do with the dog but unfortunately life happens and circumstances change (so sad:( )

Please have him put to sleep.

You don't owe an explanation to anyone, certainly not the charity.

He won't know a thing about it.

You have given him a wonderful life but now is the time to make the decision.

I have had to do this myself and very much feel your pain. Please make the phone call to the vets now.