I give up

[Givenup2027]

hi- first time poster here. We’ve got a 9 month old Labrador.
My children are 4 years and 6 years.

dog is okay at home but when we go out on walks however, she is a nightmare.

we've had initial training but you wouldn’t know it! I try my best with her and the training but it’s hard with 2 young kids and working full time. I haven’t put as much into the training as I’ve needed to.

we’ve had 3 dog walkers let her go as they can’t cope with her. They’ve all told me she needs professional training but in all honesty- we can’t afford to spend hundreds of pounds on training.

without a dog walker I’m stuffed as work full time!

I do love the dog but she does drive me mad, wakes in the night, wakes me up for the day at the crack of dawn, constant scavenger for food, jumps up at the kitchen counters etc. May sound minor to some but this along with the need for training…..I think I’m ready to throw in the towel and re home her.

please don’t shoot me but bottom line is, I just find having a dog annoying and a real inconvenience. The only reason I haven’t re homed her yet is because of the kids. They will be absolutely devastated.

just wanted to rant really and to hear from anyone who understands how I’m feeling.
thanks

If you do love the dog then you need to take responsibility for her, do a budget and save up however much it is to get the proper training and look at taking some time off work or making a schedule you can accommodate her with.

Sounds like you haven't actually tried anything, did you not do some research on what dogs/puppies need? The first years are very intense and getting a puppy isn't something anyone should do without lots of planning and consideration.

Sorry you find yourself in this situation -- but you have sort of summed it up. Labs (well all dogs) - especially at this teenage phase she's in currently - need input and consistent training, attention and exercise.

She needs to be taught what's allowed otherwise she will be a dog and counter surf, scavenge, pull on the lead, bark and wake you up early. Is there any other adult in the house with you who can help? You don't need to spend hundreds on a behaviourist if she's not aggressive or doing anything out of the ordinary (what you've described sounds like fairly normal untrained dog behaviour) you just need a training plan and to stick to it, and get the kids involved too.

If this isn't possible because of work and other commitments, the kindest thing to do is to find a new home for her. Best of luck!

If you just put in a few months effort you will end up with a lovely family pet or you can just not bother and teach your children that animals are disposable . Make your choice .

Just to add - I'd be interested to know what she's doing on the walks and how much exercise she's getting. Do you let her off the lead? Is she pulling to see other dogs or people? Birds / cats / squirrels?

If you're interested in training her I would start by finding a secure field where you can let her off the lead and practice recall. Other behaviours like dog distraction or lunging to say hello to people can be trained out by building a relationship with her based on positive reinforcement (primarily rewarding with food). You can make this easier on yourself by walking at quieter times or just crossing the street when a person or dog is approaching. Feed her as you walk past and lots of praise if she's looking at you and walking nicely.

There's lots of resources online but again it is time and consistency that's key so if this isn't an option, best to rehome.

Honestly you should never have got the dog if you don't have the time to train her properly. Who takes care of her when you're out at work? Is she left alone all day? Rehoming her would be best for the dog I think.

Whilst paying for a trainer is useful, you can’t outsource training your dog. They will give you the techniques to use but you have to be consistent and really put the effort in to get a well trained dog. MST times the trainer is actually training the owners not the dog

I have 2 labs. Did a lot of training ( 2 years of classes with dog1).
9 months is a hard age - teenage rebellion. Dog1, ( male) really enjoyed classes. It was an hour a week with dogs of a similar age, we did KC Good citizen awards, gundog training, lots of practice. It was not expensive, it was training class rather than behaviourists.

For me, that’s what I needed. Dog2 (bitch) was so much easier as I knew what I was doing and she copied Dog1.

I get you are busy, and it is hard to carve out the time, especially if you are also relying on dog walkers as they are unlikely to be consistent . So please think about what’s best for your family and the dog.

I haven't read the full thread but I have had two dogs. First was adored and we had no children when we first got her. She died aged 11. Second was the same breed but much harder work. She would run off in the park and be hard to get back. She was completely disinterested in the children. She was snappy and growly with certain traits ..teenagers, people in hats, people with glasses on. She was very hard to get into a car and hated being in one which made things hard as I worked and the plan was, as with the other dog, for her to go ton work with my husband.After several years we rehomed her through a breed specific rehoming organisation with a retired couple who adored her and she got the life she deserved. I wish I had done it sooner. In your situation, I would contact a breed rehoming organisation. Our dog had to be vet checked before she went to the rescue and we only took her the night before her new owners got her, so she wasn't left in a shelter. Many people would love to have your labrador.

I think rehome her. Someone who works from home or is around more will snap her up and everyone, dog included, will be happier. There's a lovely lab rehoming page on fb who rehome labs that families can't cope with or don't have time for allll the time (usually because of people working full time), and are inundated with applications.

So, those threads that pop up on here:

I work full time, I have two small children and no experience of dogs, what would be a good starter puppy for me?

Then posters give them a hard time

Well this is how they inevitably end up and this is why posters despair and get quite rude.

You got a puppy in poor circumstances and now you're moaning that it's uncontrollable? Yet you're unwilling to spend the time, energy and money training it properly.

Yes do rehome it through a responsible rescue to people who can actually give it a decent home.

Lab owner of 20 years here......

In what way is she a nightmare on walks?

How much exercise does she get on a daily basis?

This is why we end up with ‘problem dogs’.

People see a cute, fluffy puppy and do no research and no evaluation of their own circumstances to come to an informed decision to commit to owning a dog. The dog inevitably becomes frustrated and/or bored as there is no consistency or routine in their lives and no ‘job’ for them to do, and will express that frustration in ways that the owner finds annoying or upsetting. In extreme circumstances, they might express that as aggression.

She’s being ‘a nightmare’ because she’s trying to communicate that she is unhappy. Please do rehome her and don’t get another dog unless your circumstances change drastically and you are willing to provide the time and resources a dog needs to thrive in your home.

If you don't have the time and money to dedicate to training her, then do the right thing and find her a new home. A young, healthy Labrador will be snapped up.

I should add that I do think Labs are a really straightforward breed to own on the whole (I've had 6)

But, they need a lot of exercise to keep them sane and 'easy'. If they get enough outdoor time then the likelihood of them chewing, being destructive, stealing food etc is much reduced. It just sounds like she's got way too much energy.

I've always had working Labs. They don't start to mature and chill until they're around 3 but they still need to be kept busy. My 13 year old had a two hour walk this afternoon and she's currently lying staring at me!

I think you just need to be realistic about what you can give this dog in terms of exercise. She needs two decent walks per day and probably another 15-20 min lead walk before bed, every day, in the pissing rain etc. you can give her things like a frozen peanut butter kong, this will keep her busy for an hour. Or a big raw bone out in the garden as an additional way of expending energy!

Many 9 month old dogs are challenging. They need an incredible amount of time, attention, training and input in order to come out the other side as a well rounded dog that can cope in a range of situations.

In terms of on the house, do you have a range of management techniques in place?

• If she’s scavenging for food - make sure there is none left out that she can get hold of
• Counter surfing - keep them clear when she’s in the kitchen
• counter surfing when cooking - baby gate on the door and keep her out. Give her something to do - like a decent chew (ostrich bone for example)
• Sleep issues - include brain games and enrichment throughout her day

A good reward based trainer could help with the training and the loose lead walking, but it will take time and input from you.

scent work classes would help to tire her out mentally and would probably have a positive impact on sleep and behaviour.

As harsh as it sounds, if you aren’t in a position to give her the time and training classes that she needs then finding her a home that can might be better long term.

If you don’t have the time or money to train the dog, you don’t have time or money for a dog. If you aren’t exercising and providing appropriate stimulation the dog will always “misbehave” (ie be bored).

What was your expectation when you got her?
How did you plan to manage with the young kids and work? If the dog walkers won't have her what about daycare. The place local to us has a package that includes training.
What would need to change for you to be able to keep her?
9 months is peak annoying dog behaviour so if you are willing to keep working on things she will probably be a good dog in the end but you have a year or so of ongoing work to do and if you aren't able to then give her to someone who can.

How did you think it was going to pan out buying a puppy when you have a full time job and two young kids? What was the plan for training/providing exercise and stimulation?

Do you have a partner? Did he want a dog too and hence needs to do his bit?
When ddog was 9 months he was pretty annoying. We took turns to get up at the crack of dawn to walk him for at least 45 mins before work, did 15/20 mins training at lunchtime and gave him a chew/ Kong/ food game and walked him at least 45 mins in the evenings too. We took him to weekly classes and we changed how we lived so that we locked away all the shoes, socks, gloves, cushions and anything he could chew
I did not expect it to be as hard as it was when we rescued him but I made a commitment and I was brought up not to renege on commitments.
He's now 2 and he is only intermittently annoying now and far more often lovely.

Pulling me to the point of pulling me over. I’ve tired the stop and turn around technique but didn’t help.

when we get down to the open space I put her on a long line lead and use the ball launcher non stop for approx 30 mins (10 mins lead walk there and back again) she runs from me to retrieve the ball and back to me again non stop. This bit of our walk is fine. It’s when she’s on the lead that’s hard. And when we see other people and/or other dogs she goes mad. Barks at them, tries to lunge at them, jump up at them. Although she just wants to say hello, it can scare some people.

she gets one walk a day of approx 45-60 mins.

thank you for your tips- really helpful

See my previous post x

You're not exercising or training her enough. Did you do any breed research?

She might be over-stimulated by the ball chasing. Sniffy walks are better for exercising their brains, which is supposed to tire them out more than physical exercise. I can't let my 12 month old pup run atm (even with a long line) as we're going through a very annoying recall regression. But i take her on good sniffy walks and she's calm at home, calmer than when she used to run around a field daily.

This.

SMH that anyone thought it was a good idea to get a young dog of this breed with two young children. It's just so disheartening that people don't THINK before they act. Now the dog will likely need to be rehomed or have a shit life as a semi-trained scapegoat for years to come.

People get all starry-eyed thinking of their children cooing over a cute puppy and don't plan for the realities including the time, expense and effort involved.

Nowhere near enough exercise for a 9 month old lab! This is probably a large part of your problem.