I give up

[Givenup2027]

hi- first time poster here. We’ve got a 9 month old Labrador.
My children are 4 years and 6 years.

dog is okay at home but when we go out on walks however, she is a nightmare.

we've had initial training but you wouldn’t know it! I try my best with her and the training but it’s hard with 2 young kids and working full time. I haven’t put as much into the training as I’ve needed to.

we’ve had 3 dog walkers let her go as they can’t cope with her. They’ve all told me she needs professional training but in all honesty- we can’t afford to spend hundreds of pounds on training.

without a dog walker I’m stuffed as work full time!

I do love the dog but she does drive me mad, wakes in the night, wakes me up for the day at the crack of dawn, constant scavenger for food, jumps up at the kitchen counters etc. May sound minor to some but this along with the need for training…..I think I’m ready to throw in the towel and re home her.

please don’t shoot me but bottom line is, I just find having a dog annoying and a real inconvenience. The only reason I haven’t re homed her yet is because of the kids. They will be absolutely devastated.

just wanted to rant really and to hear from anyone who understands how I’m feeling.
thanks

Thats very interesting thank you

This.

The kids will get over it. It's not fair to the dog as things currently stand.

Thanks for your input but she does not have a shit life !
she is adored by the family and when at home is smothered in love and attention from the children.

First, ball launchers are terrible inventions they just hype up and over stimulate the dog and put terrible strain on joints - especially a growing puppy! You will damage their growth plates and send them loopy all in one! Your dog needs to be interacting with you not constantly fetching a ball.

2 walks a day are better for young dogs. Use their food for training and take it on the walk. Scatter food for scent work and brain training. Engage frequently in practicing your dog loose lead walking you can hold your hand above your dog’s head and drop kibble to them when they are walking calmly at your side.

For home, lots of enrichment - chews, frozen kong, scatter their food outside etc.

You have to invest in training it’s key for a novice dog owner and a puppy!

The lunging to say hi might be linked to over-stimulation too. I have a dog obsessed pup so feel your pain. I've recently started jogging backwards making a big fuss when she starts fixating on another dog and it is having an effect (she will actually look away from them which is miraculous in itself). It sounds like you're wanting to make changes so I wish you the best of luck with training — teenage dogs are hard work. A lab would be rescued very quickly though if it's all too much.

The ball throwing, especially if you are doing it daily, might just be creating a very fit dog.

Sniffing and training will help tire her out mentally which might help you more than just creating an athlete.

Do you use any enrichment at home to encourage settling?

Try looking to the engage / disengage game, get a clicker and some high value treats and work on focusing on you and learning the skill of disengaging from the environment and people in it.

How do you feed her? If you feed kibble, could you try a wobble kong? This will keep her busier for longer. Could you sprinkle kibble into long grass for her to find? I do this mid walk to encourage sniffing and mix it up a bit.
Do you have licki mats? Try giving one before a walk to help tire her mentally before you go and licking is calming. Use strategies to make sure she’s not super excited when you are getting ready to leave the house.

Surely you researched what having a dog entails before you took on the potentially 10-15 year commitment?

Train her & do the right thing by her & you will end up with a lovely family dog. She’s not even a year old!

Rescues are full of sad dogs that have been chucked out of their home through no fault of their own.

Easy Peasy puppy Squeezy- best book ever, reminds you that you are the most important thing in your dog’s world and how to get them to work with you x 9 months is a horrendous time but (in most cases) it gets easier. But you have to start remembering your dog is now part of your family. Third kid!! Best of luck x

It seems like you are exercising her but not training her. If you always do exactly the same routine in the same place then the ball chasing is probably the highlight of her day and no wonder she pulls hard anticipating it.
It's more effort than just chucking a ball but ideally you need to mix things up and do training on walks and then she'll be calmer and settle better at home. Ddog was always sparko after a training class much more so than a really long walk.
We always do some loose lead walking, recall training, sit, down stay and just basics whilst out and about. I take chicken or sausage and some of his kibble out with me routinely and reward him checking in with me and looking at me and over time this has helped a lot. I also hide from him and get him to find me, hide his toys and scatter kibble in the grass.
If you swopped out some ball throwing for a bit of training it would probably tire her out more and get her to learn some frustration tolerance

That one walk is not enough.

Do you have a partner who can walk her as well?

Ideally, you need to get her out for the very early morning when she won't be triggered by lots of stimuli, one late afternoon, and again in the evening.
Preferably 2.5 -3hrs in total over the day.

You said that you did training initially. Why didn't you continue with it?

Did you just want the perfect family and dog unit?

It clearly isn't working for you and do you offer two walks a day plus extra training plus mental agility time?

So this dog is alone all day except for a visor from a dog Walker? You’ve done nothing other than “initial” training? Those are the problems.
Proper daily training, daycare and ditch the ball slinger (or dog will be arthritic or worse before long)

No, I really do not understand how you are feeling. Why on EARTH did you buy any dog, if you work full time? And a Labrador? Do you even know if he/she is working stock or show stock? If it’s working stock then one walk a day will never, ever be enough. Even with show stock, they need far, far more training and stimulation than being left all day with one walk. Did you do no research before you bought him?
We have adopted SO MANY dogs that have ended up in rescue because of owners like you. Then we do the work and the training and make the effort. And, do you know what? Those dogs turn out perfectly. Well mannered, well trained, happy as larrry and we can take them anywhere because they are bomb proof. If you make the effort, you will end up with an amazing dog. If you don’t, someone like me will pick up the pieces. Again. Do better.

I just find having a dog annoying and a real inconvenience

Why did you get one?!??

The ball launcher won’t be helping, all that’ll do is create a dog that needs more and more activity to tire it out and they’re really really bad for their joints.

You’d be better off spending the same time training tbh.

What you’re dealing with is pretty standard untrained teenage behaviours, you wouldn’t be looking at spending hundreds on training, more like a few one to one sessions at £30-£40 each or just finding someone that does small classes for older puppies.

But young dogs do take up a fair amount of your time...

she is adored by the family and when at home is smothered in love and attention from the children.

But it's not enough. Dogs need routine, stability, training, mental enrichment and good quality exercise - otherwise they will be bored, destructive and badly behaved. All the love in the world won't make up for those things being missing.

If all you do with her everyday is walk her down the road, chuck a ball around and walk her home again it's no wonder she's behaving the way she does.

Puppies of most breeds are a full time job. They need a lot of company, training and input in order to turn into stable adults. I say with as a full time worker (from home) and now an older pup. I can’t imagine leaving them alone for a substantial part of the day and having a decent dog at the end of it. That can come later but not until they’ve grown up a lot!

Don’t keep the dog for the kids. It’s a 10-15 year commitment and that doesn’t stop with age! There is no harm in rehoming. We’re often fed the Disney version of dog ownership, much like babies and children. The reality can be very different.

As you now realise, she won't train herself so you need to.

It doesn't take a lot of time once you get going. I would echo the suggestion of a few 1 to 1 sessions with a good positive based trainer. Daily sessions don't need to be long, you can 5 -10 minutes at a time 2 to 3 times a day.

Practice recall around the house and in the garden, use her mealtimes to practice her sits, downs etc. Look up the itsyerchoice game from Susan Garratt.
Actually, look at all her free content on YouTube and her podcasts. We are doing her homechool the dog content with our puppy. She does have an online recallers programme which is supposed to be good.

Try using her ball as a reward for recall when out and about. Hide the ball in long grass and get her to find it rather than just throwing it.

Get the 'good stuff' out for recall rewards when outside, chicken, cheese, liver cake etc. Again, I echo using a secure field a few times to practice.

If she pulls like crazy I would try a gentle leader, get her used to it before walking. I think susan garratt has a podcast on that as well.

My puppy is a car chaser so I started rewarding her as soon as she sees a car , we were at a distance to start with, now we have built up to her walking on roads and looking at me as soon as she sees a car, you could try that with what your pup lunges at.

You could also join the dog training advice and support group on Facebook and read all of their excellent guides, or buy the book on Amazon.

Good luck, it will take a bit of time getting a routine in place but it doesn't need to be hours in a day.

Right.

1. Ditch the ball chucker. It will wreck her joints.
2. Get a halti - it won’t stop her pulling because they can pull into anything, but it will help a bit. Introduce it properly, look up online how to do this.
3. Begin working on mental stimulation. So a great game for the kids to play is hiding treats for her to find in the house or garden. Start easy (she is allowed to see where they’re going) and work up

to her not even being in the room as you hide them. She will love it.

1. You can do this on a walk too. When she earns a treat, drop it in the grass and let her find it for herself. She will love using her nose in this way.
2. She probably does need more exercise, but you can’t exercise your way out of this, she needs mental stimulation even more. Hunting games, tricks. Use her natural instincts to hunt, find and retrieve. Hide toys, treats etc.
3. She needs to start learning self-control. Assuming she has a ‘sit’ command, begin introducing distractions while she must remain sitting. Keep it easy to start - just you stepping away and back immediately, then praise her. Work up gradually to you walking around her, jumping up and down, throwing a toy etc. This will start to reach her that sometimes she must not do the first thing that comes into her head!

She is very young, and will no doubt mature into a cracking dog if you put the work in.

Amazing advice! Thank you so much

Sorry for randomly firing off paragraphs at you @Givenup2027 , I have visitors arriving soon so just sending a few points off to you quickly.

Firstly, please don't use the ball launcher for a dog of that age and breed, that type of stop-start exercise can cause such damage to their joints (have you heard of hip dysplasia?)

I second @Sunrisemouse suggestion of a Gentle Leader. It's much better than a Halti or other generic head collar. You'll also need a double ended lead (it has a clip at both ends), one bit to clip on the Gentle Leader and the other to clip on to her collar, it gives you much more control and is a lot safer just in case she manages to get the head collar off. Halti make an excellent lead actually, I think it's called a training lead (not training line, that's the really long one), it's thick but soft on your hands and was only about £10 last time I looked.

Have you spoken to your dog's breeder? It's been 25 years since I bred my one and only litter - of Labs too, funnily enough - and even then I gave everyone a contract that said that if they needed to re-home, I would take the dog back at ANY time in their life and give the owner their full purchase price back. I appreciate that was unusual but even so, your dog's breeder might take her back rather than you rehoming her randomly if it comes down to that.

All the best, and apologies again for the stream of consciousness!

"I just find having a dog annoying and a real inconvenience"

Don't we all?

This is the worst age by far but you need to train, train, train! This is exactly how we get bad dogs. And labs are pricks.

I don't stop and turn around, I yank and get them to sit. I put the collar just under their chin and I hold them close. If treat oriented get some squirts meat spray and hold it next to you where they stand.

There's loads of free resources out there, just google it.

However, you don't sound cut out to be a dog owner.

OP, there is a lot of good advice on this thread about ditching the ball thrower, using a halti or similar etc.

She obviously loves to retrieve and you can easily build on that once you have established a half-decent sit-stay (which shouldn't take more than a few weeks) by putting out items to retrieve in different places and sending her to particular ones, or hiding them in long grass etc for her to find. IME experience this sort of thing tires them out and trains them at the same time, and gives them a lot of fulfilment too.

As other have said, 9 months is the teenage stage and the WORST stage for a lab. That's why so many this age seem to be looking for new homes.

My lab is a nightmare, bought just before lockdown, so no socialisation as a puppy and to be fair we havent been consistent with training so that's our fault. He's calmed down loads though. At that age he chewed through a table and chair set, skirting boards, door frames, kitchen units etc. Jumping on people when they sat down, grabbing your hair in his mouth, stealing food. The dog will get better with some basic training and age. If you find walking them hard, what saved us is a halter head collar, I still can't walk him without it.
I think if you take on a dog, you at least owe it to them to get professional training before giving up on them, but I feel your pain.

We have this for our dog and its great. We had a halti one first and he snapped it on day 2 🙄