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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

I give up

96 replies

Givenup2027 · 30/12/2023 18:31

hi- first time poster here. We’ve got a 9 month old Labrador.
My children are 4 years and 6 years.

dog is okay at home but when we go out on walks however, she is a nightmare.

we've had initial training but you wouldn’t know it! I try my best with her and the training but it’s hard with 2 young kids and working full time. I haven’t put as much into the training as I’ve needed to.

we’ve had 3 dog walkers let her go as they can’t cope with her. They’ve all told me she needs professional training but in all honesty- we can’t afford to spend hundreds of pounds on training.

without a dog walker I’m stuffed as work full time!

I do love the dog but she does drive me mad, wakes in the night, wakes me up for the day at the crack of dawn, constant scavenger for food, jumps up at the kitchen counters etc. May sound minor to some but this along with the need for training…..I think I’m ready to throw in the towel and re home her.

please don’t shoot me but bottom line is, I just find having a dog annoying and a real inconvenience. The only reason I haven’t re homed her yet is because of the kids. They will be absolutely devastated.

just wanted to rant really and to hear from anyone who understands how I’m feeling.
thanks

OP posts:
mellongoose · 31/12/2023 10:32

Nose collar and/or front clip harness when out on walks.

No temptation left out on counter surfaces. Reward for good behaviour only. Train to lie down (using treats) then this is your command when she's feeling out of control. Make sure she has time away from the kids in a place that's just hers.

You'll get there. Ours was a nightmare until he was two! We reluctantly had him neutered and he calmed right down within weeks. He's bulletproof now.

Good luck!

HappiestSleeping · 31/12/2023 10:39

@Givenup2027 where are you located please?

Dillane · 31/12/2023 10:41

Floralnomad · 30/12/2023 18:58

If you just put in a few months effort you will end up with a lovely family pet or you can just not bother and teach your children that animals are disposable . Make your choice .

This

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 10:52

@Spudlet advice is spot on. I have an 18 month old dog who needs a lot of stimulation. I am constantly training whether it be on a walk or at home. He would pull and jump around to greet other dogs but with the halti and treats we manage to walk past without any problems now. The halti gives you a good amount of control to be able to lead them away from the other dogs at this point I have a great ready. I'm surprised that the dog walkers haven't been able to have the dog, do they do solo walks?

margotrose · 31/12/2023 13:15

I'm surprised that the dog walkers haven't been able to have the dog, do they do solo walks?

I'm a dog walker and personally wouldn't take on a young Labrador with no lead manners and that constantly jumped up.

I would expect the client to work with a trainer first in order for the dog to have the right manners to come out with me. Even on solo walks I don't want a dog who pulls like a train and doesn't listen.

TheSpruce · 31/12/2023 13:21

@RowanMayfair sounds like OP thought it would be a nice gift for the kids. Clearly done no research or gave it any proper thought... One short walk a day?! Come on now.

DancefloorAcrobatics · 31/12/2023 14:51

I haven't read the whole thread, but dog training takes about 18 - 24 months of religiously reinforcing the behaviour you want.

The more time you spend with your dog the better behaved it will be.

You decided to have the dog, please don't give up. The next 6-9 months will be hard, but also very rewarding, so just stick with it and get help.

If you struggle financially, go contact your local dog training club. Good Citizen dog scheme is a good start....
www.thekennelclub.org.uk/search/find-a-club/

CellophaneFlower · 31/12/2023 16:39

I'm surprised at all the comments saying a 9 month old puppy needs far more exercise than 60 mins a day? Too much full on exercise at this age is damaging whilst they're still growing and pups can get overstimulated.

I'd definitely split the time over 2 walks though and cut down on the ball chucking.

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 16:41

margotrose · 31/12/2023 13:15

I'm surprised that the dog walkers haven't been able to have the dog, do they do solo walks?

I'm a dog walker and personally wouldn't take on a young Labrador with no lead manners and that constantly jumped up.

I would expect the client to work with a trainer first in order for the dog to have the right manners to come out with me. Even on solo walks I don't want a dog who pulls like a train and doesn't listen.

That surprises me as the ones local to me offer solo and group walks. Our dog walker is fab with training the pups she has and is very much involved with training.

margotrose · 31/12/2023 16:51

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 16:41

That surprises me as the ones local to me offer solo and group walks. Our dog walker is fab with training the pups she has and is very much involved with training.

Show quote history

I'm not a trainer, though, I'm a dog walker.

I will always work alongside an owner who is actively training their dog - I'll use their commands and hand movements, for example, or use the same rewards as they do, but I'm not going to do it all for them.

I walk 12-15 dogs a day on average and I expect all of them to have basic training in place, even for solo walks. It's for my safety as much as anything else. A strong dog that pulls like a train could injure me and see me out of work for weeks (if not months).

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 16:56

@margotrose my dog walker isn't a trainer either but she is able to give the time to help work on lead training also. Puppy's tend to need consistent training for a good 18 plus months and I would expect an element of consistency from my dog walker, of which I do get.

margotrose · 31/12/2023 17:00

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 16:56

@margotrose my dog walker isn't a trainer either but she is able to give the time to help work on lead training also. Puppy's tend to need consistent training for a good 18 plus months and I would expect an element of consistency from my dog walker, of which I do get.

This dog has already been dropped by three walkers. That tells me it's a bit more than a slight bit of pulling and teenage excitement.

margotrose · 31/12/2023 17:02

Also, as I said in my earlier post, I am more than happy to work alongside owners but I'm not about to do it all for them. That's not my job and, frankly, I don't get paid enough to do it either.

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 17:03

@margotrose or the three walkers are too business focused...

Anyhow OP, it will get easier, keep on with training, try to find a routine that works for the both of you and use some of the ideas about the Halti and stimulation games.

margotrose · 31/12/2023 17:08

or the three walkers are too business focused...

Of course they are, this is their livelihood Confused

As I said, if a dog is strong on the lead and injures me or pulls me over, I could be out of work for weeks or even months. I can't afford to risk that just because someone can't be bothered to train at home.

If you want a trainer, you need to pay for a trainer. Unfortunately most people don't want to pay £30+ an hour for private training and expect walkers charging £12 an hour to do it instead.

LaurieStrode · 31/12/2023 17:12

or the three walkers are too business focused...

Um, why shouldn't they be? Feel free to start a charity dog-walking outfit if you like, but most people are doing it to earn their living.

It's up to the people who voluntarily adopted a vulnerable animal, apparently without performing due diligence, to change their lifestyle to accommodate its needs, not for a dog walker to do free or low-paid extra work to assist them. FFS.

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 17:13

margotrose · 31/12/2023 17:08

or the three walkers are too business focused...

Of course they are, this is their livelihood Confused

As I said, if a dog is strong on the lead and injures me or pulls me over, I could be out of work for weeks or even months. I can't afford to risk that just because someone can't be bothered to train at home.

If you want a trainer, you need to pay for a trainer. Unfortunately most people don't want to pay £30+ an hour for private training and expect walkers charging £12 an hour to do it instead.

Edited

If you are paying for a solo walk then there is no reason as to why a dog walker can't keep consistency and work with the dog on lead. Each to their own I guess...

margotrose · 31/12/2023 17:18

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 17:13

If you are paying for a solo walk then there is no reason as to why a dog walker can't keep consistency and work with the dog on lead. Each to their own I guess...

Show quote history

Yes, and I've said multiple times that I do that Confused

What I won't do is train their dog for them when they're not bothering to reinforce it at home. Because that's not my job, whether they pay for a solo walk or not.

margotrose · 31/12/2023 17:19

Thanks @LaurieStrode - I was starting to think I was going mad for a second there Grin

PinkMimosa · 31/12/2023 17:28

You can do this on a walk too. When she earns a treat, drop it in the grass and let her find it for herself. She will love using her nose in this way

We rehomed a very reactive DDog and we do this on walks. She still barks sometimes but loves having a sniff for her treat. We drop the treat and say "find it".

Hairyfairy01 · 31/12/2023 17:35

Have you ever hired out one of those dog field parks? I know they cost but might be an idea. Maybe see if an older, sensible dog and their owner want to join you.

I know a few labs who have responded really well to gundog training. Maybe look at videos on you tube etc?

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 31/12/2023 18:08

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 17:03

@margotrose or the three walkers are too business focused...

Anyhow OP, it will get easier, keep on with training, try to find a routine that works for the both of you and use some of the ideas about the Halti and stimulation games.

If they are running a business, why shouldn't they be business focused? Even if they offer solo walks, if the dog is pulling OP over, then I would guess it could pull a dog walker over too- it's not reasonable to expect someone to risk their safety (and good dog walkers are often in demand).

If the dog is also tricky around other dogs and people, then the walker may feel it's just too much of a liability- especially as OP isn't working at finding a solution!

Postapocalypticcowgirl · 31/12/2023 18:12

Givenup2027 · 30/12/2023 21:15

Thanks for your input but she does not have a shit life !
she is adored by the family and when at home is smothered in love and attention from the children.

Show quote history

Dogs aren't people, though- they don't necessarily want to be smothered in love and attention. They want to have company, sure, but for a lot of dogs, receiving lots of hugs, for example can be really overwhelming.

In order to have a good life, your dog ideally needs 2 walks a day, and probably at least 2 hours of walking on those walks. This may mean you or your partner waking up early to take her for a walk before work, but that's the way it is. Your dog also needs other mental stimulation- have you looked into enrichment toys and similar?

The children could also play simple enrichment games with her- people have suggested hiding food for her to find. You can also play scent games, find the teddy etc- all of this will really help her brain!

I think you'll be more successful if you start thinking of her as dog, and think about how to meet her needs as a dog!

Winewednesday · 31/12/2023 18:14

@Postapocalypticcowgirl @margotrose I understand your point but I think you are missing mine. The OP didn't say she wasn't willing to train the dog. My point was that if you are paying for a solo walk then the walker can help by being consistent with lead training. Of course if a walker isn't able to do that then they shouldn't, however many walkers can and will be happy to support. With consistency a dog can learn to walk nicely on a lead. I feel that the blame is being pointed at the OP when a lot of puppies have these phases.