I give up

[Givenup2027]

hi- first time poster here. We’ve got a 9 month old Labrador.
My children are 4 years and 6 years.

dog is okay at home but when we go out on walks however, she is a nightmare.

we've had initial training but you wouldn’t know it! I try my best with her and the training but it’s hard with 2 young kids and working full time. I haven’t put as much into the training as I’ve needed to.

we’ve had 3 dog walkers let her go as they can’t cope with her. They’ve all told me she needs professional training but in all honesty- we can’t afford to spend hundreds of pounds on training.

without a dog walker I’m stuffed as work full time!

I do love the dog but she does drive me mad, wakes in the night, wakes me up for the day at the crack of dawn, constant scavenger for food, jumps up at the kitchen counters etc. May sound minor to some but this along with the need for training…..I think I’m ready to throw in the towel and re home her.

please don’t shoot me but bottom line is, I just find having a dog annoying and a real inconvenience. The only reason I haven’t re homed her yet is because of the kids. They will be absolutely devastated.

just wanted to rant really and to hear from anyone who understands how I’m feeling.
thanks

I haven't read the whole thread, but it sounds like you've bitten off more than you can chew. I'm a seasoned dog owner (I have three dogs and a toddler) and I am wincing at the prospect of working full time with a 4YO and a 6YO and having a young spirited dog if you aren't very confident in what you are doing and don't have a very outdoorsy and home based lifestyle. It doesn't sound like your lifestyle is hugely compatible with dog ownership at this point, and like it'll make you all miserable.

Dog walkers round here are run off their feet. I expect they can choose the easy dogs to walk and still have their books full. I couldn't be arsed to train someone's dog for an hour a few times a week if they weren't being consistent and putting the time in on other days because you just wouldn't get far. That, and it's no good having a dog who respects and responds well to its walker but not its owner.

Ball launchers are completely inappropriate for most dogs, but especially for an immature dog of a heavy breed. You’ll cripple her. She needs brain exercise to tire her, NOT 30 minutes of mindless running after a ball.

What a pity whoever let you have the puppy didn’t foresee that once past the Andrex puppy stage, an adolescent Labrador would not suit your family. More of a pity that you didn’t look that far ahead.

Dogs don’t train themselves to be well mannered.

@Winewednesday the thing is, this dog is nine months old and has already been dropped by three dog walkers, all of whom have said that the dog needs professional training and yet OP still hasn't bothered.

If the dog was already attending classes and OP was already doing work at home, that would be different, but that's not what's happening.

I've had a dog reactive terrier on my books for three years now and I've done loads of work with him - to the point where he can now walk alongside several other dogs without reacting - but I can only do that because his owner takes him to training and works with him every single day at home too.

A dog walkers' job is to walk your dog. If they need training, then that's the service you need to sign up to and pay for.

My books are also full with a long waiting list - I don't need to take on badly trained dogs when I have loads of well-trained, well-mannered dogs waiting for spaces.

@margotrose that's your opinion and I have mine. I'm not here to argue or to bash the OP. The dog is still young and at that age they are hard work. There will be dog walkers out there that can facilitate a solo walk but with consistent training at home too. There is a lot of material and great advice online too OP. Good luck!

This is all that is wrong with dog ownership now a days, can’t afford the training? Don’t get a dog. Work full time so are unable to walk them yourself and need dog walkers? Don’t get a dog. What is wrong with people that they can’t assess their situations anymore?

There will be dog walkers out there that can facilitate a solo walk but with consistent training at home too.

Yep - which I've said I do, multiple times 🙈

@AlaskaThunderfuckHiiiiiiiii - it's fashionable, the belief that young puppies & children are cute, gasification, not budgeting beyond puppy purchase, food and routine vet bills... to name a few reasons.

However, I have 2 youngish dogs and work full time, I also have DC and a husband who works long hours. So it's not impossible to own and train a dog under thouse circumstances.

But, my DC are teenagers, I get up at 5am to give the dogs a long walk before work and another one when I get in from work. DH gets home for lunch to let them out. I batch cook to free up time and have easy dinners. We go doggy training 2x week plus the odd weekend for competition/ specialist training. If not, we go for long walks.
My dogs are my hobby and they seem content and happy.

But, they are bloody hard work! Getting up & out in the dark cold wet can be torture. Getting up early every weekend is unpleasant at the best of times, but that is their routine.

So my message for OP is, don't give up, adjust your daily routine to incorporate the dog.

Dog training isn't that expensive if you join a club. Usually the puppy/ beginner class is expensive but once you are out of that stage, it's a yearly fee plus a few pounds per lesson. (I pay £150.- p/a for 2 dogs and £5 per lesson/ dog - so if money is tight, I skip a few lessons.)

@ArticWillow you sound like a responsible dog owner which is not the case for the majority of dog owners now.

I don’t mind dogs but wouldn’t have one as we both work and have young kids, I like my house smell and accident free which is more added work, I’m busy enough in the mornings without having a dog to walk and my DH works away so no way would I be able to give a dog what they needed or afford one to be honest

This reply is absolutely spot on!! I'm a professional dog walker, specialising in gundogs. This advice will help immensely. My 9 year old lab was a fooking nightmare at that age... now she's almost the perfect dog. Give it time and yours will be too.

Ball chucker is genuinely one of the worst things you can do, for so many reasons. Get rid of it and she will calm down a lot.

caninearthritis.org/article/on-throwing-balls/

30 minutes lobbing a ball with a 9 month lab is a really bad idea for the sake of their joints. What has the breeder said about the issues you are having? Did you not take her to puppy classes? You say the stop and turn around method isn't working but you need to be consistent and view it as a long term project. Every time you walk forwards when she pulls she is getting rewarded. You can split off the "exercise" and the "training loose lead walking" separately, but LLW is a difficult skill for most young dogs. If you haven't time to train her then it is better she goes to a new home before she accumulates bad habits. I assume you bought her from a responsible breeder and that she is therefore on a puppy contract to go back there if she needs rehoming

If you can’t afford training, look at YouTube videos - McCann training, Will Atherton, Kikopup etc.

Pups are hard work - there’s a long running ‘Puppy survival ‘ thread in ‘ Doghouse’ for this reason.

Labs are often cited as ‘good family pets’ - they omit to tell you that the first couple of years they lively, energetic, Duracell bunnies on speed.

We were also told not to use a ball thrower until they are a year as well. Also not to let them climb stairs etc until their bones are fully developed.

Hi all. Thank you so much for your replies, I have read them all twice over and take on a lot of what has been said.

hubby and I had a serious chat and I told him I can’t do it all on my own (the walking and the training) it tends to fall on me as he goes out to work everyday where as I work from home 3 days a week. Anyway we’ve both agreed to not give up on her, we’ve contacted a recommended local dog trainer and hope he will be able to fit us in asap. Thanks again x

Well done OP, best of luck x

Excellent, OP - good luck.

This is a good point.

But if you don't have time to train her then rehoming would be kindest. 9 months is a difficult stage and she will calm down...but it just sounds like the wrong breed at the wrong time.

If you rehome now with someone who has time to train her then she is still trainable.

Well done on getting DH to step up. Mine is not a huge fan of our dog a lot of the time but he accepts that we jointly agreed to get him and so he does at least 50:50. He wfh but I still do 50:50 on walks I just have to get up earlier Everyone does need to be on the same page with dog training or the dog gets confused

They will also give you away...
My dog demand barks at DH to open the cupboard where the treats and chews are kept but he never does it to me. He has learnt that DH is a soft touch.

I think some sessions with a trainer that ideally you both attend will really help. We had some 1:1 sessions at the start that we went to as a whole family that helped us all be on one page and then attended weekly classes. We have also got some top up 1:1 sessions with the trainer when we have had specific issues and we can call/ email about minor things and he will advise for free now that we have a relationship.

A tired dog is a good dog. Does she get off lead time or are you counting a street walk as a walk? She really needs the former. Even if you have to drive somewhere for it.
Work on recall on a long extender lead first, treats in good supply, then take her somewhere safe from roads and livestock and let her run!! A good hour walk in the morning and a little street walk in the evening should work wonders. Otherwise, if you don't get all her bounce out, no amount of training will suppress it and neither should it!

Good luck OP. Labs are bred to please their owners so she should absolutely love formal training classes.