Puppy crying all night

[daisypup]

As thread title suggests he cries ALL NIGHT. He is now 5 months old and I don't know if we can keep him as it's disturbing the neighbours and our children.

When we first got him he cried all night in his crate (10-6) without stopping. He did this for almost a week and then started sleeping through the night. He started again about a month ago, and went on for a week until we decided to give up the crate and give him the run of the dining room at night.

He has started doing it again since yesterday and I don't know why.

He is downstairs, and doesn't seem to like being left on his own at night. Having him upstairs with us is not an option, due to our house being a terrace but also personal preference.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? I don't know anyone who has had a dog cry for this long without stopping, and for so many nights.

I love him dearly and don't want to give him up but this really isn't manageable for anyone. I'm on anxiety medication because of the impact. My children are waking and upset at school because he's keeping them up.

@MindHowYouGoes thank you that is helpful I will check this out.

You need to think of this as you building up your dogs confidence to be left alone - right now he’s scared and lonely so he’s crying. Advising you to whack a radio on and cover him with a blanket isn’t addressing the underlying issues and is likely to make his anxiety much worse - even if it means you can get some sleep.

it’s not treating him like a child to give him some reassurance like some have said

I just want to wish you luck too - my second dog shattered all my illusions about how much fun it would be to have a puppy and he’s still a bit of a handful now. So I get how hard it is. I would have sent my dog back several times if not for DTAS

Dog Training Advice and Support on Facebook is excellent, as mentioned (they also have a book). They have files with all the info you need to help you through this situation. That would definitely be a good place to start.

Our dog isn't allowed upstairs because the cats live there and we had them first. So I would sleep downstairs with her to help her settle. At the beginning I only had to do it for three nights, and then when she regressed it was just the one night.

For your pup it's going to take longer because he's obviously more needy, but he should start to feel more comfortable and secure and you should be able to slowly get him used to sleeping on his own. It just might take some time.

OP, the more info you’re giving, the more I am wondering why on Earth you got a puppy? Not being mean, just curious?

Your cats are so obviously top priority and you won’t move on that. You seem adamant that you won’t change any sort of sleeping situation for either you on the pup.
Now, after much input from posters over several hours, you drop in that you have a child with additional needs!!

You have not once mentioned what breed the dog is… several posters have asked, as different breeds have different needs, and we could maybe help with that if we knew the breed.

You also work, so very young dog is alone during the day for however long, then shut away at night?

He seems to be way down the pecking order, behind you and DH, the cats, your child , your work etc.

Dogs are pack animals.
They like to be part of a pack, we become pack leader if we have them in our homes. Your poor dog has left his Mummy, left his ‘pack’ of litter mates (who sleep in puppy piles for warmth and comfort) and seems to be kept on the very edge of your ‘pack’

Please ask yourself why you decided to take this little one on?

He deserves better. Dogs view us as their entire life, they have no one else. We provide food, water warmth, comfort and company. Can you honestly say you are meeting his needs?

I'm going to be shot down for this but I don't like crates.

Our puppies have always had the run of the kitchen with a big bed a couple of old towels in it to chew on and a selection of toys. You have to pick any bins etc up at night. You might get chewing on the skirting and walls though. When we get up to let them out, they then shoot off to the bedroom to say hello , get cuddles, out to spend and breakfast.

We've had dogs for 46 years, working breeds so very energetic. Labs and spaniels. I do appreciate that it maybe different separation anxiety though with some breeds.

Pack theory has been thoroughly debunked. Same sort of nonsense spouted by Southend dog training, cesar Milan and their ilk.

I understand the advice you got was to let him cry, but what i don't understand is why you'd keep following that advice when it obviously isn't working.

Would you leave your child alone to cry and scream for eight hours a night just because someone told you to?

Does he have his own safe, corner downstairs, for his bed? Can you make it more cosy? Our puppy had a dog electric blanket last year, as it was so cold. We left the radio on an extra blanket and her favourite soft toys.

I wouldn’t sleep with him, as you are then left with another problem. The vet can prescribe a sedative medicine, for the short term, just to break the habit.

@MindHowYouGoes

Do you mean that dogs are not pack animals??

The trouble is many people have anthropomorphism when it comes to dogs. Dogs aren’t human babies. A puppy is ready to leave it’s mother at around nine weeks.

All this advice on sleeping with a puppy is something we’ve never followed. Our pups sleep downstairs in their beds from day one.

Pack theory has been disproved ages ago.

Go read up on pack theory

I'm going to be shot down for this but I don't like crates.

That’s fine, you won’t be sleeping in one anytime soon. On the other hand, dogs aren’t human, the don’t know it’s a crate. They just see a quiet, cosy den where they can feel safe.

Clearly the advice from the behaviourist is not working. Why you are perservering is beyond me. Find another. A reputable one as I see someone above has said the one you are using is not or certainly uses outdated methods.

I am afraid I don’t understand why you felt it a good idea to get a puppy when you’ve got cats and need to keep them separate. I appreciate you love the dog but this is not working and probably wouldn’t from the start.

Yes that's the one.

@MindHowYouGoes
Yes, ma’am

I have a 4 month old border collie puppy,at present on my feet. First month, I slept in the spare room with her (like an idiot, when she cried I let her on the bed and she peed through the whole bedding,) in a crate on the floor. The night shift was my decision because I worked nights for 30 years. Then the crate went next to our bed by the door,to get up for wees in the night. She is now crated outside the bedroom. Last walk around 9 pm,and sleeping longer and longer. When 100% house trained, and calmer, she will sleep in our room, the other one already has a bed there. We tried our previous dog in the utility room with the other 2, uncrated,he chewed wires! One died (his bestie) he barked and howled,we let him on the bed,(he was only a toy) my vet of 25 years, told me my previous puppy was far too young to sleep alone. She was actually scared stiff of the completely harmless cat.

Wow! The assumptions being made
My puppy is not being left alone while I go out to work? Me and my partner both work from home, so he always has someone here. We worked hard to gradually build up alone time in the day and this has worked a treat.

Yes I have a child with additional needs but why would that mean that we can't take care of a puppy? Child has diabetes so I have to check on her frequently in the night. This doesn't impact how she is with the dog or the time we have in the day. It's just means I am up and down in the night.

We got a puppy because we have a lot to give. We regularly look after our friends dog so felt like we were fairly realistic (clearly not). We our outdoorsy, large garden, we have embraced training and socialisation, we are home to care for the dog all day. This is the one thing that I can't budge on- having dog upstairs. When researching getting a dog (which we've spent the last few years doing) we were never told the dog had to be able to sleep in our bedroom, had I have known this then I might rethink. I obviously did not look in the right places which is why I am asking for advice.

We kept on because it worked, he would cry for a week and then go through the night. We were told repeatedly by the dog trainer that this was normal and we had to stick it out, if we gave in he wouldn't learn. We spoke to the vet and friends about this and we're encouraged to keep on. I realise now this wasn't right and I should have trusted my instincts, but as a first time dog owner I thought I was doing the right thing.

Clearly that is the wrong advice but what's done is done and I'm now reaching out for advice to see if I can find away to make this work for all of us.

Puppy is a Lhasa Apso, he is 5 months old.

@daisypup

you need to stop dismissing suggestions because you tried it when he was a tiny puppy, they change a lot in a short period of time.

lots of things can make them regress, just like human babies.

try his bed/crate in your room, he is likely to be more comforted by your presence now than when he was tiny & new.

shut your bedroom door & your cats can have the run of the rest of the upstairs.

Hes scared & lonely and NEEDS some company. Leaving him to cry alone is just cruel.

As I have said he is not coming in my room for all the reasons I have already stated. One of us could sleep downstairs with him temporarily though, I am trying to work out how this would work.

They are barky dogs, not sure if it's the right dog for a tiny terrace, so understand your references to your thin walls.

Someone sleeping downstairs might help. Better than letting puppy cry.

It staggers me you won’t even try him upstairs. We all get what you’ve said but you won’t even try. He may well fall asleep and be content and not bother if you’re up during the night. He may not bother with the cats either. You slept next to the crate before and it didn’t work but you don’t know how it will be this time round. You are getting advice. You’re just being dismissive of it.

If you don't want the puppy upstairs - and I do get your reasons - the alternative is for humans to spend the night downstairs with him.

We don't allow our dogs upstairs, mainly for safety reasons (very steep staircase, our old dog fell on it) but, when they have been puppies, we have always started downstairs with them. Then you progress to sleeping upstairs but you come down and comfort them, every time they wake, just like with a baby. They have always adjusted fine to sleeping alone within a few weeks.

It staggers me that so many people are not able to take no for an answer! I've been quite clear my boundaries on him coming upstairs. I'm looking for other ideas, and am willing to try anything other than that.