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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Puppy crying all night

158 replies

daisypup · 07/12/2023 23:15

As thread title suggests he cries ALL NIGHT. He is now 5 months old and I don't know if we can keep him as it's disturbing the neighbours and our children.

When we first got him he cried all night in his crate (10-6) without stopping. He did this for almost a week and then started sleeping through the night. He started again about a month ago, and went on for a week until we decided to give up the crate and give him the run of the dining room at night.

He has started doing it again since yesterday and I don't know why.

He is downstairs, and doesn't seem to like being left on his own at night. Having him upstairs with us is not an option, due to our house being a terrace but also personal preference.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? I don't know anyone who has had a dog cry for this long without stopping, and for so many nights.

I love him dearly and don't want to give him up but this really isn't manageable for anyone. I'm on anxiety medication because of the impact. My children are waking and upset at school because he's keeping them up.

OP posts:
MrsSkylerWhite · 07/12/2023 23:46

6 weeks, not 6 months!

(we were told she was 10 when she came to us, the vet told us otherwise).

Milkand2sugarsplease · 07/12/2023 23:46

We had a few phases of this with our puppy. I ended up just sleeping downstairs with him for a couple of weeks and gradually retreating

BeadedBubbles · 07/12/2023 23:47

@tomatoontoast - I don't treat my dogs like children thank you. But I do see them as a commitment and would never - as you so charmingly put it - get rid. Especially for something as easy to resolve as night time crying.

CharlotteRose90 · 07/12/2023 23:47

wow, he’s a baby and probably scared and lonely. Bring his bed upstairs and let him sleep with you.

Original poster
daisypup · 07/12/2023 23:49

A major reason why he isn't allowed upstairs is because I have cats who pretty much live up here. The walls of my house are also paper thin upstairs and I cannot do that to my neighbours. The upstairs part is not something that will change.

OP posts:
Thisweeksname · 07/12/2023 23:50

He’s only a baby still, please let him sleep upstairs with you, try it for a couple of nights. If it doesn’t work for you, at least you tried

needtonamechangeforthis1 · 07/12/2023 23:50

ilovechristmas2023 · 07/12/2023 23:44

I have two dogs and they both were crate trained cried in the night but i must admit not until that age. Ppl suggesting putting him in your room or sleeping with him downstairs just sounds like ur giving in and setting even more of a rod for your own back. Maybe try as ap said and use radio or alexa:tv on youtube they do dog tv dog separation anxiety songs etc maybe a blanket with your scent on or teddy etc if not try contacting a dog behaviourist. If all else fails maybe it is time to rehome :/ good luck

Giving the dog what they need is not making a rod for your own back.
God why is it that so many people just don't see that dogs are living breathing and feeing creatures who have needs!

He is a very young dog who is frightened and is telling you he is distressed. You could. Try listening to him!

MrsSkylerWhite · 07/12/2023 23:50

In which case, your problem won’t go away.

you should perhaps of thought it through before taking on a puppy. They are far needier than the average cat.

commonground · 07/12/2023 23:51

But if you take him upstairs and pop him into bed with you he will likely sleep and the neighbours won't hear anything. Will the cats object to him being with you?

BeadedBubbles · 07/12/2023 23:51

daisypup · 07/12/2023 23:49

A major reason why he isn't allowed upstairs is because I have cats who pretty much live up here. The walls of my house are also paper thin upstairs and I cannot do that to my neighbours. The upstairs part is not something that will change.

But if he's upstairs he won't cry so he wouldn't disturb your neighbours.

Wouldn't the cats just keep out of his way? That's what my cats have done if they were bothered by a dog. Some just work it out.

Setyoufree · 07/12/2023 23:52

Leaving them to cry on their own is very outdated advice. I think you need to sleep downstairs with them for a bit and then you can work on gradually retreating when they're more settled but I don't think this is going to get better on its own

needtonamechangeforthis1 · 07/12/2023 23:53

daisypup · 07/12/2023 23:49

A major reason why he isn't allowed upstairs is because I have cats who pretty much live up here. The walls of my house are also paper thin upstairs and I cannot do that to my neighbours. The upstairs part is not something that will change.

@daisypup if your not prepared to make changes then why are you expecting that the problem will go away?
It won't! It will probably get worse.

Train the dog around the cats.

If you are not prepared to meet the poor puppies needs then why get one?

whyamiawakestill · 07/12/2023 23:53

daisypup · 07/12/2023 23:49

A major reason why he isn't allowed upstairs is because I have cats who pretty much live up here. The walls of my house are also paper thin upstairs and I cannot do that to my neighbours. The upstairs part is not something that will change.

Then sleep downstairs with him for a while or ask your DH too? or just give up on the poor dog and give him back to the breeder so he can be with a family that understand the dogs aren't an out the box pet, they are all totally different and have needs.

By leaving him he will already be developing anxiety issues, give the poor pup a new home and cut your losses.

Or turf the cats downstairs so he can stay upstairs with you? But whatever you do make it a quick decision, else you'll resent him even more, assuming you didn't sign up for a tricky puppy.

Elieza · 07/12/2023 23:54

Poor little dog.

I don’t know what advice you’ve been given re not having him in the bedroom by multiple people but whatever it is I think you can safely say it’s bollocks.

Many many many people have dogs upstairs. It’s not a big deal. Nobody died of having a dog in the bedroom. It’s nice. Perhaps it’ll help your anxiety when he’s older for comfort.

Take the dog upstairs for goodness sake or get him a new home as frankly you’re being cruel. Poor little baby dog is just missing his family.

I don’t know why you bothered to get a puppy as you’re clearly unprepared for him and would be better with an older rescue dog or perhaps a cat.

Hmmmbetterchangethis · 07/12/2023 23:54

Your poor puppy. How can you leave him to cry like this? Didn’t you get a dog to love it and give it the best life? Imagine how miserable you’d have to feel to cry all night long. He feels this.
Either re-home your puppy to someone who will love and care for him, or sleep downstairs with him so he’s not terrified with no one to turn to.
This will give him long term emotional damage.
Yes, he’s a dog, not a human, but he still feels fear, loneliness, sadness……….

Wanttobeok · 07/12/2023 23:55

I agree that Mumsnet can be batshit about dogs (don't leave them alone ever, don't get a puppy if you work- even from home - etc)

However, in this case its clear that what you have tried isn't working so it's time to try something new.

I think having the dog in your room, in a covered crate is the obvious answer. It will calm down eventually but for now they need company and to feel reassured.

I'm another one who doesn't understand why being in a terraced house is an issue with this obvious solution (?)

It doesn't have to be forever but for now it's worth a go.

I haven't experienced the crying for months but my current dog used to wake up and start yapping at 4am for the first 6 months (and not because he needed the loo, we worked that out pretty quickly) I honestly think he was lonely.

My solution was to go down and bring him Into the living room but completely ignore him, and go to sleep on the sofa. Sorted it out and now he just wakes up when we wake up.

Redhairblackheart · 07/12/2023 23:57

Our 1st dog screamed the house down for 3 nights straight and that drove me knuts so she has her own bed in our room and was taught not to budge out of said bed unless told, which she still does 3.5 years later. 2nd dog was a bugger for wandering around and getting into mischief so is crated in our room after many chances to be loose and behave. I feel safer with them upstairs should we be broken Into. Id try upstairs with you if you can as a final ditch attempt before rehoming. Just because dogs in your room it doesnt mean that has to be in your bed.

LauderSyme · 07/12/2023 23:58

OMG you're giving me the rage OP. Why the fuck did you get a puppy if you're not prepared to meet it's needs? Poor baby dog.

Wanttobeok · 08/12/2023 00:01

Cross Post re terraced and cats...although still think that's the answer.

I wonder of you were really hoping people would say its not normal, rehome. Sorry, not me.

justasking111 · 08/12/2023 00:03

There are anti anxiety meds for dogs. That might work plus the blanket and quiet music.

Feliway I think.

neilyoungismyhero · 08/12/2023 00:05

If he was in his crate he wouldn't disturb the cats would he?
Our GSD used to sleep in my daughter's room on the floor and creep out before we got up.

Original poster
daisypup · 08/12/2023 00:06

Bloody hell, I remember why I don't come on Mumsnet!

Yes I love him dearly, we have changed so much for him because we wanted to and knew we could be loving owners. We Put in playpens, dog training, changed how we worked, socialisation. We have put hours into training him around our cats (that's always been my priority) but he's still a bouncy puppy and new to the home so he will chase them given the chance. There's been other issues that we have stuck with and tackled. The normal but hard stuff we expected do for a puppy. The problem we have is not a common one (I know crying is but it's the length of it and not being able to comfort when lying near him like we did for the first few days) which is why it's pushing me to my limit. As I've said I have gone on anxiety medication to cope because I wanted to stick at this.

And yes I love him, but he is an animal not a child.'I want him to have a good life but it has to work around my family too.

Anyway this clearly wasn't the place to ask for advice. I've said he isn't coming in my room, and I don't need people jumping down my throat. Maybe have a bit of empathy and don't just assume the worst in the poster. It's very hard to take onboard advice when people automatically assumed the worst in you without knowing the full picture.

OP posts:
ActDottie · 08/12/2023 00:08

BeadedBubbles · 07/12/2023 23:37

You love your dog dearly but would rather get rid than have him upstairs?!

This :( I don’t understand why people don’t have their dogs upstairs.

Our dogs sleep in our room, my main motivation is because if we get burglars in the night then they can’t steal easily the dogs who are the most precious things anyone could take from me.

ChateauDuMont · 08/12/2023 00:09

I imagine he already has separation anxiety if you took him from his mother and litter mates and stuck him on his own in a crate from 10 -6. That awful.

Get rid of the crate and get him a nice cosy bed and make him a member of your family not a criminal to be locked up at night.

justasking111 · 08/12/2023 00:09

@daisypup have a word with the vet. Calming diffusers, tablets, drops might just break the cycle.