Puppy crying all night

[daisypup]

As thread title suggests he cries ALL NIGHT. He is now 5 months old and I don't know if we can keep him as it's disturbing the neighbours and our children.

When we first got him he cried all night in his crate (10-6) without stopping. He did this for almost a week and then started sleeping through the night. He started again about a month ago, and went on for a week until we decided to give up the crate and give him the run of the dining room at night.

He has started doing it again since yesterday and I don't know why.

He is downstairs, and doesn't seem to like being left on his own at night. Having him upstairs with us is not an option, due to our house being a terrace but also personal preference.

Has anyone experienced anything like this? I don't know anyone who has had a dog cry for this long without stopping, and for so many nights.

I love him dearly and don't want to give him up but this really isn't manageable for anyone. I'm on anxiety medication because of the impact. My children are waking and upset at school because he's keeping them up.

People are "jumping down your throat" (except they aren't!) because the reasons you are giving to not go with the advice you are receiving do not make sense.

There is a potentially easy fix here, you just won't do it

@justasking111 thank you, I have a dog stress relief plug-in in near where he sleeps. I have taken him to the vet to have him checked over incase there was any medical cause, everything they recommended we were already doing unfortunately. But thank you for thinking of that.

I'm sorry but none of that is abnormal. It's what we dog owners do. Yes it's a big adjustment but that's dog ownership for you. Nothing you have said is going above and beyond the normal.
I'm sorry you are having a tough time with your mental health but unfortunately that doesn't change things.
You have taken on a puppy. You need to give him what he needs and that is for you to be with him. Either you need to move downstairs or bring him up with you. If your not prepared to do this then nothing is going to change. It might well get worse and turn into more destructive behaviours.

OP, what breed is the pup? Some are more prone to attachment issues than others. All pups do go through phases of attachment and fear, interspersed with expanding independence but they do so at different ages. Some are also more prone to separation anxiety than others though I imagine you researched this before you chose the pup. Full on Separation anxiety can develop at any age but once it’s established it is hard to address so I’d think carefully about how to
manage this phase of the pup’s development.

Give up the dog to someone who has a little compassion and actually knows anything about puppies. Leaving a puppy to cry in a cage for WEEKS is disgusting and cruel. You don't deserve to have a dog.

I would try sleeping downstairs with the puppy and see if that helps. At least when he isn't disturbing everyone in your house and next door you can think about how to get him to sleep on his own. We have never let our dogs sleep upstairs (or on furniture). We have always had quite large dogs and some breeds are susceptible to hip problems, so avoiding stairs reduces strain.

Puppies are (for this purpose, a little bit) like babies and you wouldn't refuse a baby comfort and closeness when they cry, because it'll either make them more anxious, or detached.

If you can't meet the needs of the puppy, then you need to re-home to someone that can, however I do think that you could do more to try and meet this puppy's needs.

And dogs have the mental & emotional age of a 3 year old child…

I would consult a dog behaviourist who will come and review your dog and it's individual needs and issued and work out what is going on behaviour wise as doesn't sound usual behaviour at this age plenty of people have their dogs downstairs and the behaviourist can work with you and the dog to make sure your whole family and the dog return to getting some sleep and you don't have to give up the dog as this is not sustainable for any of you

People have given you loads of advice but you seem determined not to follow any of it.

You won't get your puppy used to being alone at night by leaving it alone to scream for eight hours at a time. If you really won't have the puppy upstairs then one of you will need to sleep downstairs with him again.

We have cats and lived in terraced housing as well by the way - our puppy slept upstairs from day one and never once screamed or cried or woke up at night (unless he needed the toilet).

If you're not prepared to change your behaviour then you should find your puppy a new home with people who are better suited to meet its' needs.

It’s not a common problem because most people don’t leave a dog crying for that long tbh, most people let it sleep near them straight away or switch to that once the dog cries more than just a bit.

One of mine will probably never be ok to be left alone with my cat, he’s currently crated in my room at night as we only got him this year, the other is now great with the cat but can’t be crated so he slept in my room with the door shut until he was older and now chooses to sleep downstairs.

I know it probably feels like people are being harsh... but honestly, you’re creating the issue, it’s an easy fix and having a new/young dog in your room doesn’t mean they’re there forever.

I think you need to think about what is realistic. There are three things that will contribute to your puppy's stron settling ability:

1. Age
2. Breed
3. Socialisation

Your puppy is 5 months old. Still a baby. Our 4 month old puppy still wants to have a wee in the middle of the night.

You haven't said what breed you have. Some breeds are prone to separation anxiety.

You haven't said what you did to acclimatise your puppy to the sleeping arrangements other than ignoring its cries.

Realistically, 1 will change but 2 won't, and 3 will need some work to undo what you've done.

If you aren't prepared to fix what you have done by ignoring your dog's communication, you're not going to get a solution.

Your dog is not going to be able to resolve this by itself.

Anyway this clearly wasn't the place to ask for advice. I've said he isn't coming in my room, and I don't need people jumping down my throat. Maybe have a bit of empathy and don't just assume the worst in the poster. It's very hard to take onboard advice when people automatically assumed the worst in you without knowing the full picture.

But you haven't said WHY you won't have him in your room so it's difficult for us to empathise. You have a very unhappy dog, whose behaviour is having an extreme impact on you and your family. You say you love him but are contemplating giving him up. The obvious solution is for him to be on a dog bed on the floor next to your bed. It beggars belief that you will let the situation continue rather than try this.

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is the cold weather. Our log burner is warm all night and the dog after checking out the bedroom ambles off there. Couple you put a heater in the kitchen or I think you can get heated blankets for dogs.

He's a baby. He's on his own and he's frightened. If you can't bring yourself to look after a baby animal, by bringing him upstairs with you for a few months, then rehome him. I'd ask a rescue to help with this so they find a decent family willing to give him the love and attention he needs.

I have repeatedly said why he isn't in my room

• terraced house with paper thin walls upstairs (we may as well share a bedroom with our neighbour)
• we have cats, their safe space is upstairs having a bouncy puppy up here with them is not fair

Also I may as well add

• if he is crated in our room but left next to us he will bark. When we first got him I slept next to him while he was in his crate and it made no difference to the barking.
• I will not be able to sleep with a dog on my bed, he is playful and bouncy. I am up frequently in the night due to my child's additional needs which would make the dog even more bouncy.

Things we have done to try and help him in the night
-crate/anxiety bed
-old clothes of ours left out
-hot water bottle
-dog stress relief plug-in
-given him free reign of down stairs
-cuddly toy
-vet check to check no underlying issue is causing him to get upset
-walks and stimulation in the day to try and tire him out

• calming spray used

-consulted dog behaviourists frequently (Southend dog school) who repeatedly told me to leave him to cry. I am a first time dog owner this is the advice I was also given by friends and work colleagues who have dogs.

He is ok with being left in the day. We leave him dog puzzles I am wondering whether to do this at night too.

If we start sleeping downstairs with him then wouldn't it make things worse? Or would he slowly grow out of it?

What advice were you hoping for?

Some puppy tranquillisers to make the it work?

You have tried the crate, it's not working. It's time to rethink.

My pup slept in our room (in a crate) every night. Now she is an older pup she CHOOSES to sleep away from us. No forced separation. Let her gain in confidence herself. This won't happen until she is older - ours is going through a wobble again at adolescence which is again, normal. We did the same with our last rescue. She slept alone after she'd gained enough confidence.

They need company until they are confidently sleeping through. Then they don't.

It doesn't sound like having a puppy is compatible with your lifestyle anyway. The best going for everyone is find him a loving home that can meet all his needs.

You are putting your cats first and you are making the situation worse. Instead of enjoying your puppy and your puppy enjoying himself so he can grow up confident and happy you are all suffering.

Horrible to use the term "getting rid" though and I don't think people are odd, I think it's good we're moving to a society which increasingly cares about animals

I hope this is a troll trying to upset people. If not, it’s a case of why on earth did you get a puppy? Two of our dogs were rescue pups, it took one of them just over a year to be ok without us overnight, and that’s with having our other dogs that she sleeps with. She’s 3 now and still has the occasional bad night where she needs us. Apparently she had been left alone to cry by her previous owner so she really struggled with being apart from us. Don’t fuck up your dog like our dogs previous owners did. Take responsibility. Ffs.

Oh I hate this.

A dog is supposed to be part of your family. It would feel awful to me to take a baby away from their mother and siblings and then just leave them alone in a crate and listen to them cry.

I slept with ours on the floor of our bedroom for the first few weeks and then graduated to them sleeping in their bed. She gets excited for bedtime now and only jumps up on the bed when invited in the morning sometimes.

You are setting yourself up for a neurotic dog with separation anxiety.

Southend dog school? Is that that absolute twat on tiktok? 🙄

Southend dog school are one of the worst places you could have gone for advice - their methods are incredibly outdated and sometimes cruel (they advocate the use of prong collars in their training).

no wonder it’s not working out for you. I’d go on dog training advice and support page on Facebook, have a read of the guides and then if you’re still struggling you can post for advice. They saved my sanity with my rescue dog. They are likely to tell you to sleep downstairs with your dog for now but it will make it clearer why that’s a good option and how it’s likely to work. They’re all qualified behaviourists - normal members are not allowed to weigh in with opinions on your posts. If you’re still struggling they offer a premium group for £20 a month where you can post as much as you like and get 121 support