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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

Broken 💔

90 replies

spiderlight · 01/10/2023 23:41

We had to say goodbye to the best dog in the world on Friday and I am utterly broken. I just don't know what to do with myself. It feels as if someone has torn a hole in my chest and I just miss him so much. It was his birthday today as well, just to make it more painful. My 16-year-old is absolutely devastated and I don't know how to help him because I can barely breathe. I loved him so much. He was honestly perfect. I work from home because of ill-health, and he was my little sidekick, my only company all day, busy and nosy and involved in everything. He made me laugh a hundred times a day with his silly noises and games. There's not an inch of our house that doesn't remind me of him....I just don't know how to be here without him 😭

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ChaChaRealSmooth · 01/10/2023 23:48

I’m so so sorry for your loss. x

WinterDeWinter · 01/10/2023 23:50

I’m so sorry. I completely understand. I think all one can do is get through the days until eventually it gets less raw. ❤️

Beaucielblues · 01/10/2023 23:55

My heart breaks for you. I'm in the same place only I lost my cat. I always said that he was truly perfect in every way possible. So I totally understand what you mean. The pain and utter sadness is unbearable. I know that they live on and still love is from afar. I can only send empathy and compassion.

cardiganboo · 01/10/2023 23:57

He sounds like the best dog ever. Imagine how happy you made him and how great he felt being so loved. Lots of love ❤️

ajandjjmum · 02/10/2023 00:03

I'm so sorry. We lost our dog on 18th February - he was really DH's dog, but I was staggered by how sad and upset we all were. They really are part of the family. Flowers

MargaritaHargitaysLittleSister · 02/10/2023 00:45

I'm so sorry for your loss. It really is so awful to go through 😩❤️

SecondClassReturnToDottinghamPlease · 02/10/2023 01:18

It's nearly a year since I lost my best boy. I still miss him and the hole in my heart is still there, but the rawness and pain subsides over time. I feel for you OP, the love of a dog is the best thing in the world, but also the worst when they leave you. Thinking of you tonight, and thinking of my boy as ever.

Original poster
spiderlight · 02/10/2023 11:19

Thank you all. I'm just devastated - he was so, so lovely and he was always right by my side. I've just wailed because he wasn't at the bottom of the stairs with a toy, celebrating me coming back from the loo. He was just pure joy.

OP posts:
Inastatus · 02/10/2023 11:39

I’m so sorry for your loss 😢 It’s so hard. My girl is 10 and I know we will all feel exactly the same when she goes. They leave a big furry hole in the middle of your family 💔 Sending hugs.

BristolBlueGlasses · 02/10/2023 12:02

I'm so sorry for your loss Spider. The pain is awful and one we share as we had to say goodbye to our darling old girl in late August.

So much of our love for our beloved pets is wrapped up in sharing all the tiny routines of the day and so every single thing, every single spot in the house is a reminder that they're not there.

For us the pain is raw and tearing but the things that are helping us are looking at old photos of her and remember the wonderful life she had and all the beautiful times we had together. We keep walking, talking, try to keep up with our hobbies, eat good food and go to bed early. We even laugh a bit now when we share all the happy memories we have of her and her quirky little ways.

I've found this lady's poetry a huge comfort - it makes me cry but it does help.
https://www.instagram.com/donnaashworthwords/

It sounds as though you gave your dog the most perfect life and home that the little fella could have hoped for and he was completely loved. What a lucky dog he was to find you and what good dog companions you and your family were. You should be proud of that and I hope that brings you comfort. Things will get better. All will be well. A huge hug from our home to yours.

user1471556818 · 02/10/2023 12:03

So sorry

NormaLouiseBates · 02/10/2023 12:07

I'm so sorry... we had to let our boy go in January and I miss him every single day. Those initial days were pure agony. The loss of him hit me like a physical pain. It will slowly get a little easier and you'll be able to remember him with a smile I promise.

I couldn't cope with the quietness of the house and we welcomed a new puppy within a month of losing him. I like to think he sent her to help me smile again.

Original poster
spiderlight · 02/10/2023 13:46

Thank you all. You're right, @NormaLouiseBates - I have an actual physical pain in my chest. So sorry you've been through it as well.

I took this photo just a few weeks ago. He loved a beach - he was so happy.

We have dozens and dozens of his toys and teddies all over the house. DS and I have just sat and looked through the toybox next to his bed upstairs and we can remember where every one of the teddies came from. I tried to limit the number we had out at any time and rotate them like you do with a toddler, but he would find them wherever I put them away. I lost him in the house just before Christmas - I nipped to the loo, leaving him asleep on the sofa, and when I came down he was nowhere to be found. He had made his way into the storage room next to DS's bedroom in the loft, and was carefully reversing out, dragging a carrier bag full of teddies that I'd put away. I don't know what to do with them all now. DS has begged me not to put any of them away yet but they're all just sitting in an overflowing box looking at me :(

Broken 💔
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Lancelottie · 02/10/2023 13:47

He's so beautiful

Original poster
spiderlight · 02/10/2023 13:47

@BristolBlueGlasses - thank you so much for that link! 💜

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Inastatus · 02/10/2023 17:07

@spiderlight - gorgeous doggo. How old was he?

Stickytreacle · 02/10/2023 17:50

Aw he looks gorgeous, I'm so sorry you've lost him, it is imcredibly hard. I spent two months dogless after the loss of my last lab, it was the most awful time, but as others have said looking back at the lovely life we were able to give him helped.
I just got a new rescue a month ago and I can see bits of all my old dogs in him. He has given purpose to my days again and is as loved as my previous dogs, even though they are all different.
I think the best tribute to a lost dog is giving another a loving home. Flowers

NormaLouiseBates · 02/10/2023 17:52

Oh he's beautiful 🥺🩵

We didn't put any of Alfie's things away for weeks. His bed, his toys, his treats... I couldn't do it. They gave me some comfort in a strange way. You just do whatever feels right for you. There is no right or wrong here.

I'm not embarrassed to say that losing him was THE hardest thing I've ever gone through. Even worse than when my dad died. I know to some people that might sound crazy but my dad had his own home, his an life. Everywhere in our home reminded me of Alfie. Memories everywhere. It was agony. What helped a little was when we got to bring him home after he'd been cremated. I talked to him all the time in those early days... I still do now but not as much.

But now, 8 months on, we can talk about him with a smile (and of course still there are tears but not as many). We have photos everywhere and we tell our new girl all about her big brother 🥺❤️

Broken 💔
Original poster
spiderlight · 02/10/2023 18:15

@Inastatus - he would have been 13 yesterday. He always acted so much younger, though, and he was only with us for 4 1/2 years, so it feels, illogically, as if we should have had much more time with him. It's never enough, though - our last dog was 16 and we still felt robbed when he went.

@NormaLouiseBates - what an absolute beauty!! I know what you mean - I think I feel more raw grief than when my parents died, awful though that was both times, simply because there weren't reminders of them all over the house. We have so much food and tins of treats, treat toys, teddies; we still have three frozen banana kongs in the freezer, which were his abolute favourite. He used to bring me a kong, and then run to the fruit bowl to show me he wanted a banana in it. I'd do one with fresh banana and then freeze the rest of it. I knew something was really wrong when he turned away from a bit of banana on Thursday.

I've just had such a lovely email from his vet, expressing condolences and saying 'It has been my honor to be involved in taking care of Eddie in the past 2 years, he was always so brave and tough and hardy , yet gentle and patient. May the little soul rest in peace. ' 😢

OP posts:
Inastatus · 02/10/2023 18:29

@spiderlight - it’s never enough time 😔 RIP your gorgeous boy 🌈

NormaLouiseBates · 02/10/2023 18:44

Oh that's just beautiful from your vet... would have had me sobbing though for sure. He sounds like he was a very special boy indeed 🩵

Daffyyellow · 02/10/2023 19:00

What a beautiful doggo. They leave such huge holes in our lives, I’m sorry for your loss. For me it was putting on my boots for work, mine always came for a cuddle, nudging the boots out of the way knowing what they symbolised, nearly broke me the day I didn’t have to fend her off to finish getting ready.

johnworf · 02/10/2023 19:16

I am so sorry you have lost your lovely boy. The pain is so awful at first but give yourself time to grieve for him. 💐

We lost our boy suddenly in march and I still think of him every day.❤

cheeseisthebest · 02/10/2023 19:23

Im so so sorry for your loss.
I get teary thinking about losing my boy, he's the first dog I've ever had and I had no idea how much I would love him. It's like nothing else.

Roselilly36 · 02/10/2023 19:23

Oh he was a beautiful boy, those eyes! It’s totally devastating, we lost our lovely boy, many years ago. I can still remember the raw grief. We never got another dog, although we have thought about it over the years, but no way could we ever go through that again. It will get easier OP, it takes a lot of time. But the rawness will fade, and you will have happy memories. So sorry for your loss, just take each day as it comes Flowers

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