Broken 💔

[spiderlight]

We had to say goodbye to the best dog in the world on Friday and I am utterly broken. I just don't know what to do with myself. It feels as if someone has torn a hole in my chest and I just miss him so much. It was his birthday today as well, just to make it more painful. My 16-year-old is absolutely devastated and I don't know how to help him because I can barely breathe. I loved him so much. He was honestly perfect. I work from home because of ill-health, and he was my little sidekick, my only company all day, busy and nosy and involved in everything. He made me laugh a hundred times a day with his silly noises and games. There's not an inch of our house that doesn't remind me of him....I just don't know how to be here without him 😭

Thanks @spiderlight, hugs to you too xx

Have you decided what to do with the ashes? I think we’ll scatter Darcie’s ashes, just not sure where.

I think we'll keep them at home - our other two dogs' ashes are on a little shelf next to our bed so I guess he'll join them. They have rainbows with ashes incorporated from this lady so I'll do something similar with Eddie if I can face it. Scattering ashes at a favourite walk is probably a healthier thing to do but I've never been able to face it.

Unfortunately it’s now my turn to join the club that nobody wants to be in. Had to have my old boy put to sleep this morning. He was poorly yesterday and went downhill very quickly overnight despite the vet’s best efforts. He went peacefully with everyone who loved him there.

What a lovely boy, @Iheartmysmart . Sending you hugs.

Thank you @TheGodOfSmallThings he was a lovely boy. He was 13 and I’d had him since he was 8 weeks old. Typical spaniel, had to be included in everything and always on the look out for treats! I hope you’re okay 💐

Oh, what a gorgeous boy! Another cocker - they're just the best, aren't they? I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you 💐

Another cocker! They are great dogs, stubborn as anything though. It’s pouring with rain here today so he would have refused to go out! Thank you.

I’m so sorry @Iheartmysmart Look at his lovely face ❤️

@JuneFromBethesda Thank you. It’s so weird waking up this morning and he’s not here. I’m totally lost without him. How are you coping 💐

@Iheartmysmart I'm so sorry for your loss, it's such a heartbreaking time. I'm three weeks on from saying goodbye to my beautiful girl - also a spaniel and I miss her so much. By far the worst thing I've ever had to do! The tears seem to come from nowhere every time if think about her. 😢 sending virtual hugs your way x

I just posted my own thread, but almost identical to this. The grief is just so encompassing 💔

I’m getting used to the quiet in the house. I got through my first day WFH yesterday since she died and it was ok (work has been insanely busy this week which has been stressful but a useful
distraction).

So sorry for everyone having to come to terms with this. I thought I was ‘prepared’ as my dog was elderly and I knew we were on borrowed time - but really nothing can prepare you.

I bought a bracelet with her name engraved on it. It’s comforting having her name on my wrist ❤️

Hugs all round xxx

It’s the most painful of losses, to lose a faithful, good natured dog.

People can apparently hold it together when a relative dies- only to completely fall to pieces when a beloved pet dies-

“ Goodbye, dear friend” by Virginia Ironside explains why this is.
It’s very painful .

So sorry for your Loss.

Thank you @rockingbird I’m sorry for your loss too. Hugs to everyone who has lost their dog. This is the first time in years that I’ve not been responsible for anything. DS has gone back to Uni, not that he’s needed me much for a good few years, and now no dog to care for. It’s very odd.

Weirdly @oakleaffy I was nowhere near this upset when I lost my dad last year.

I'm strangely relieved to hear this, as I too lost a parent one month and a dog the next. I held it together for my parent's funeral and was utterly floored by the death of the dog, but felt like I shouldn't be, because it almost seemed disrespectful of my parent. Yet they would have been the first to sympathise, if they'd still been there to talk to.

Oh, I hate Mondays now. Up at 6.15 to get DS up and out for college. He and DH leave at 7, and I'd normally have gone with them and walked Eddie, but now DH goes straight to work and there's just silence and 12 hours in an empty house. I miss our old routine so much - a lovely early walk and then home for a Bonio and snoring the morning away while I work. I'm sitting here waiting for my work to turn up and I just feel desolate. I can't bear to go for a walk with no dog and meet people and have to tell them. I'm not great at going out on my own anyway - I have anxiety caused by a vestibular issue that makes me feel weird and dizzy, but having Eddie to walk helped so much and now I feel myself becoming reclusive again. I just can't bear him not being here.

I know how you feel. I didn’t get up until 7.30 this morning as there was no little face staring at me at 6.30, eager to get out and see all his doggy chums. Like you, I can’t bear going out without him just yet. Having to repeat the same sad news over and over is just too much.

It feels odd knowing that I probably won’t see some of the friends I made out on our walks again. They were more acquaintances really but we’d spend ages chatting while to dogs played together. I don’t even know most of their names, it was always ‘dog’s name’ mum or dad!

Sending love ❤️💔 We are having our gorgeous rescue boy pts this week. He’s got cancer and it’s finally caught up with him. We’ve had him 6.5 years and he’s wonderful. Our other dog knows there’s something up and is being very quiet 😭 Dreading it and the sadness afterwards x

So sorry, @HappyasLarrynot - my heart goes out to you. It's just so blooming hard. Spoil him as much as you can.

Thank you - we had to let him go yesterday which was earlier than we had planned but is what was best for him. I had been up with him all night on Monday and although he had a fab day yesterday it was just what we had to do. I have been awake for hours and just crying in waves. Our other dog knew what was going on but is still looking for him in the garden and it is breaking my heart 💔

Oh, bless you, and your other dog 😢 So, so sorry.

The only advice I can offer to anyone going through this is don't be afraid of the possibility of opening up your heart and home to another dog at some point. It's not replacing your beloved dog, don't think that. I like to think that Alfie sent Honey to us to help us smile again. He saw how much pain we were in and sent her to help ❤️

I know it's not for everyone and if it had been up to my husband we wouldn't have had another one as he said he couldn't cope with going through that again. But I just couldn't imagine my life without a dog in it and the house was so empty and quiet. It was unbearable. We brought Honey home about 6 weeks after losing Alfie and it was 100% the best decision for us. She's 9 months now and makes me laugh every day. She's so full of joy in the way only a puppy can be! We tell her all about her big brother and not a day goes by that I don't think of him... his photos are everywhere so it would be hard not to! 🐾❤️

I'm so so sorry, there are no words. It's the absolute worst pain in the world 😢

@NormaLouiseBates - she's absolutely gorgeous! I know I'm going to need another dog soon. I just hate not having one here, but all I really want is Eddie back. I have put in an open query to our local dog rescue this morning though asking for us to be kept in mind for any suitable cockery-type dogs that come in. I felt deeply weird and disloyal and I cried while I was doing it, but I'm just so lonely without him here when everyone else is out all day. I definitely need a bit more time before I'm ready, though.

I totally 100% get it. I had terrible feelings of guilt like I was trying to replace him but of course that's impossible... when a dog has touched your life and heart that strongly it's crazy to even imagine that they could be replaced.

Our lovely vet told us that there is no right or wrong time to get your next dog. Some people need one right away and some take months, years. Some never do. And that's all okay. I WFH permanently so it was me that was feeling the emptiness of the house so much. That waggy tail when you get up in the mornings. That happy face when you get the lead and treats out. I couldn't cope without it.