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The doghouse

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Original poster

At my wits end with this puppy!!

89 replies

RoSa1719 · 21/07/2023 05:44

Hiya! I wonder if you have any puppy advice…. cos we really are at our wits end 😢
Belle wakes up ready for the day between 4 and 5am!
We have tried everything. Dark cosy room, later dinner, walk in the evening, keeping her up and playing before bed, later bed time, ignoring her when she wakes so early, not giving her breakfast as soon as she wakes…. Nothing is working.
She barks and crys, I let her out in the garden for her to wee and poo. I don’t talk to her just let her out then straight back in her room so she knows it’s still night time. But she doesn’t go back to sleep, or if she does it’s not for long.
Today for example she woke up at 3am so I let her in the garden. She did a wee and poo, back in her room and I went back up to bed.
4.15am she was barking and crying. I ignored her. She would not stop. It got to 5.15am and she woke the kids up. I gave in and went down to her. She didn’t need a wee. She just said hello to me and then she fell back to sleep on the sofa!
I cannot carry on like this, it’s killing me and waking the children up. Any advice welcome xx

OP posts:
Original poster
RoSa1719 · 21/07/2023 05:44

Should have added that she is 4 months old

OP posts:
24Dogcuddler · 21/07/2023 06:01

Having a puppy is like having a baby in the house. If she has weed and pood she’s probably hungry or just lonely and wants to be with you.
She is very young and will still very much be settling in. Sounds like she needed reassurance. It will get better.
Have you got a puppy training book? Try Easy Peasy Puppy Squeezy. Dogs Trust has good puppy advice too.
She just needs time and patience and is still getting into a routine.

OctopusWave · 21/07/2023 06:27

Without sounding awful, she is a baby so what do you expect?
If you are having trouble coping then I would research and contact a dog trainer for help overall but at four months old you have a long way to go before she reaches any type of maturity.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 21/07/2023 06:28

She's a baby - she doesn't want to sleep downstairs alone when all her family are upstairs together.

Original poster
RoSa1719 · 21/07/2023 07:08

Thank you all.
I know she’s a baby and I know it’s hard. I just wanted some tips/advice that’s all x

OP posts:
Lastqueenofscotland2 · 21/07/2023 07:14

She’s a baby. If she’s getting really upset and barking/crying ignoring her will make it worse as it’s reinforcing that you not being there = awful.
Is she in a crate or a bed. A crate can really help

madeofcheeze · 21/07/2023 07:16

Have you tried giving her something to do when you take her back in at 4am. A long lasting chew toy or something might be enough to entertain her until she falls back to sleep.

bobby81 · 21/07/2023 07:18

Ours were the same. We now have their beds in our room & everyone is happier / gets more sleep. They stay in their beds for most of the night then jump into our bed for a snuggle in the morning :)

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 21/07/2023 07:19

RoSa1719 · 21/07/2023 07:08

Thank you all.
I know she’s a baby and I know it’s hard. I just wanted some tips/advice that’s all x

She's telling you she wants company - IMO she's very very young to be expected to spend all night alone.

What are her sleeping arrangements? Can she not sleep in your bedroom so she settles?

My puppy slept in with us from day one and never ever woke up crying at 4am.

Setyoufree · 21/07/2023 07:21

Is she crate trained? With ours we found she would settle happily with fingers through the bars to nuzzle up to that time of day

Original poster
RoSa1719 · 21/07/2023 07:22

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 21/07/2023 07:19

She's telling you she wants company - IMO she's very very young to be expected to spend all night alone.

What are her sleeping arrangements? Can she not sleep in your bedroom so she settles?

My puppy slept in with us from day one and never ever woke up crying at 4am.

Show quote history

Thank you for your reply.
we started with a crate but she hated it so we stopped that after about 4 weeks.
now she’s in our utility room with a baby gate on the door. Lovely comfy bed, her toys are in there, her water bowl.
a few people have suggested her sleeping upstairs with us but we don’t want that

OP posts:
Setyoufree · 21/07/2023 07:24

Ok so you could do similar, sit on other side of gate with her bed against it, and reassure through the gate

Easy peezy puppy book has lots of guidance on crate training though if you wanted to try, there's a process

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 21/07/2023 07:25

Sleeping in with you doesn't have to be permanent but I think you won't get her to sleep until a decent time if you persevere with the current arrangements.

Personally I would have her in with you and get some sleep - you can slowly transition her downstairs as she gets older and more confident.

I know a lot of people on here will say their dogs slept through alone from day one but my experience is that that's really the exception - puppies need regular toilet breaks, reassurance and company, not to be left alone.

SpringSummerDreamer · 21/07/2023 07:27

What about the adults taking it in turns to sleep downstairs on a folding bed for a few nights? Not ideal, but she'd probably sleep longer with someone asleep in the room with her and so get used to waking later.

GameOverBoys · 21/07/2023 07:27

If you don’t want her upstairs, I would put her back in her crate then sleep on the sofa or floor next to her. If she’s not crated then put a baby gate or puppy pen in her room and lie down next to that a slowly move further away over a week or two. People are so harsh on here. I found having a newborn easy in comparison to a puppy. Nobody really lets you know how difficult puppies are. You’re expected to work and carry on life while looking after a completely untrained yet physically capable little fluff ball who shits everywhere and bites your hands off. However, the full on puppy phase doesn’t last that long. It will get better soon but don’t be surprised if you feel a lot of regret and upset in the mean time. The puppy blues are real!

DominoRules · 21/07/2023 07:28

Could you sleep in with her or next to the gate for a few nights to see if that helps? Puppies do go through ups and downs with confidence so sometimes just need that extra bit of reassurance for a while, she sounds like she’s a bit lonely or worried by something.

finewelshcheese · 21/07/2023 07:28

She's just a baby...

I've crate trained all my puppies, which has involved me sleeping next to their covered crate for several nights when they first arrive. This means when they do wake they don't get chance to get distressed as I'm there shushing them.

They've also had an old dressing gown of mine (that I've been wearing all week) plus puppy lullabies/wave music playing. They've all been sleeping through til 7 within a couple of weeks.

Is she in a crate or just a bed in a room?

AnneElliott23 · 21/07/2023 07:30

Is this the first puppy you've had? As others have said, she's really very little to not be near her "pack", your family. Doesn't matter how comfy her room is if she's in isolation in there when what she really needs sounds like a cuddle and reassurance.

SpringSummerDreamer · 21/07/2023 07:30

Might be easier to transition yourself upstairs after a week or two when she's comfortable than it would be to have her upstairs and move her downstairs later.

finewelshcheese · 21/07/2023 07:31

Sorry just saw the update about the crate. Did you introduce it properly or just put her in and hope for the best?

I have seen some teddies you can buy with a built in heartbeat...not sure if they're for dogs or babies but you'd have to check for safety reasons.

OutnumberedByDogs · 21/07/2023 07:38

Suggestions?

Stop expecting a puppy to act like a much older dog and be able to cope with being alone for such long periods. 🤷🏻‍♀️

winteriscoming2022 · 21/07/2023 07:41

My latest, though slightly older pup, usually stirs when it starts getting light. She sleeps in my room, either on my bed or if too hot on the floor ( she's never enjoyed a dog bed)
I get up with her at around 5 and she goes outside. Often she'll then start indicating she wants breakfast but I just take her straight back up to my room, turn lights off 'shush' her and go back to sleep. I only get up again to get her breakfast once I'm properly awake.
If she wasn't with me she'd also make a racket, they're just babies, they want your company, particularly after being alone all night.
I've never used crates and brought up six puppies through the years
Could you not reconsider taking pup to your room?

Seasideanticscanleadtosandybuckets · 21/07/2023 07:41

What worked for us was dh got up at 6 for work.. Dropped dpuppy in our bed when he went at 6.30..she had an hour nap with me then we got up. Lasted a few months then she stopped the early wakes. If she does get into our room if I am upstairs she snuggles straight on the bed.

Twiglets1 · 21/07/2023 07:54

That does sound hard. My labrador when he was a puppy was also a "baby" but he didn't do this at all. After the first couple of days at home, he stopped crying when left alone and never barked to wake us up. My husband did get up early for work at the time at 5.30/6am so maybe that helped as the puppy knew someone would be coming downstairs as soon as it started to get light.

He was never allowed into our bedroom (we had a baby gate to stop him going upstairs) but was quite happy in his own bed in the kitchen once he had settled. Maybe it's a breed thing as labradors do tend to be resilient and don't make much of a fuss about anything.

I don't know how big your utility room is but if it's quite small, it may feel nicer to the puppy to have the run of the kitchen instead? I know they have lots of "accidents" at that age but does it really matter if you have a tiled floor?

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