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The doghouse

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Original poster

At my wits end with this puppy!!

89 replies

RoSa1719 · 21/07/2023 05:44

Hiya! I wonder if you have any puppy advice…. cos we really are at our wits end 😢
Belle wakes up ready for the day between 4 and 5am!
We have tried everything. Dark cosy room, later dinner, walk in the evening, keeping her up and playing before bed, later bed time, ignoring her when she wakes so early, not giving her breakfast as soon as she wakes…. Nothing is working.
She barks and crys, I let her out in the garden for her to wee and poo. I don’t talk to her just let her out then straight back in her room so she knows it’s still night time. But she doesn’t go back to sleep, or if she does it’s not for long.
Today for example she woke up at 3am so I let her in the garden. She did a wee and poo, back in her room and I went back up to bed.
4.15am she was barking and crying. I ignored her. She would not stop. It got to 5.15am and she woke the kids up. I gave in and went down to her. She didn’t need a wee. She just said hello to me and then she fell back to sleep on the sofa!
I cannot carry on like this, it’s killing me and waking the children up. Any advice welcome xx

OP posts:
cinnamonfrenchtoast · 22/07/2023 08:27

There are a range of ways to raise a dog well and so not everyone will always agree on the methods they would use, but they are often offering valuable points of view and advice

Exactly this. OP is struggling and people are just offering ways to make things easier.

My experience (and that of many others) is that one of the easiest ways to get a puppy to sleep through the night is to have in with you.

If OP doesn't want that then the obvious alternative is to sleep down with the puppy, but for me that's just uncomfortable and means you don't get much sleep anyway as you're not in your own bed.

I went for the path of least resistance Grin

BluNomad · 22/07/2023 08:31

You need to ignore it & it will get better, if you have her in your room or go to her it will never change, she needs to have her own space & learn to be happy in that space alone. Perseverance & patience, it doesn’t happen overnight or even in couple of weeks but it will happen if you stick to your guns

missingthewinchesterboys · 22/07/2023 08:57

Heartbeat sheep toy.
Expensive but so worth it. My 7month old still absolutely adores his and when he fetches it we know he's tired.

How much sleep is puppy getting overall. They should be getting 18 hrs at this age. No longer than 60min awake.

We start the settling process from 6pm, not excitable games, calm and quiet then he only come out his crate on a lead for the toilet.

We were still feeding 3 meals a day and he'd get a scrambled egg at 10pm before his last toilet for the night. We do this now if he's not eaten well during he day.

We still do a last late toilet and someone gets up at 6:30 for the morning wee, he generally goes back to sleep at this point.
If we are going to have a busy day or it's going to be hot I'll walk home at this time.
Never walk late at night.

Have you tried having a radio on for company?

Our dog isn't allowed upstairs( that's the cats domain) so I get the resistance but if it is because it's lonely then I'd get up at the first noise, toilet (on a lead) and then settle on a sofa in the same room for as much sleep as I could grab.

It does get better.

Newpeep · 22/07/2023 08:58

BluNomad · 22/07/2023 08:31

You need to ignore it & it will get better, if you have her in your room or go to her it will never change, she needs to have her own space & learn to be happy in that space alone. Perseverance & patience, it doesn’t happen overnight or even in couple of weeks but it will happen if you stick to your guns

Not necessarily. Last dog was a very nervous shut down rescue at 7 months. She slept in our room for a few months then we slowly moved her out. She went on to be comfortable sleeping anywhere away from us, including in an awning in a crate when we camped. I crate trained her ‘properly’ though. So spent months building value in the crate then extended time slowly rather than just shutting her in and expecting her to get on with it.

A few months of compromise led to over 15 years of trouble free sleeping because we had a secure confident dog. I know what I’d rather.

Sone dogs cope. Like kids. Some don’t. This one isn’t so you need to adjust expectations temporarily.

We’ve taken our pup camping in our camper van a few times. She started off only being able to sleep up near our heads. Now she mostly chooses to stay in her own bed at the bottom of ours as she’s more confident. I hate having a dog or cat sleeping with me but we’ll get there quicker with a bit of compromise.

BluNomad · 22/07/2023 09:11

Newpeep · 22/07/2023 08:58

Not necessarily. Last dog was a very nervous shut down rescue at 7 months. She slept in our room for a few months then we slowly moved her out. She went on to be comfortable sleeping anywhere away from us, including in an awning in a crate when we camped. I crate trained her ‘properly’ though. So spent months building value in the crate then extended time slowly rather than just shutting her in and expecting her to get on with it.

A few months of compromise led to over 15 years of trouble free sleeping because we had a secure confident dog. I know what I’d rather.

Sone dogs cope. Like kids. Some don’t. This one isn’t so you need to adjust expectations temporarily.

We’ve taken our pup camping in our camper van a few times. She started off only being able to sleep up near our heads. Now she mostly chooses to stay in her own bed at the bottom of ours as she’s more confident. I hate having a dog or cat sleeping with me but we’ll get there quicker with a bit of compromise.

Show quote history

Yes you gradually moved her out & properly crate trained her but most people can’t be bothered to do it like this (the sensible way) & end up with doing the easiest thing for an easy life which ultimately ends up with a dog that can’t sleep alone. We crate trained ours & he has his own bedroom downstairs which he was trained to sleep in & the perseverance for 2/3/4 months was well worth it as he will just take himself off to bed when he’s ready now

BiscuitsBiscuitsEverywhere · 22/07/2023 17:49

My dogs have never slept in my bedroom. It's perfectly reasonable for the OP to choose that option IMO. I've never used crates at night either. I do think it makes sense to sleep in the same room as a very young puppy for the first week or so. They are adjusting to a new environment, beginning to bond with their new owners, and becoming accustomed to life without their mother and littermates. But IME that phase doesn't last long, and certainly by 4 months (and often much earlier) many puppies are fine sleeping on their own.

@RoSa1719you may need to take a step back and help your puppy develop new habits, and that may mean sleeping in the same room for a little while (though that can be wherever you want the puppy to sleep, it doesn't have to be your bedroom). If he wakes up early, limit interaction. Just quietly take him outside but avoid a lot of fuss/talking. Then return him to his bed. With luck, he will fall asleep again. Though that may not happen at first, of course. You might also think about experimenting with the rest of his daily schedule, when he is fed, when he goes outside for the last time, etc.

cuckyplunt · 22/07/2023 18:34

The thing about dogs is, nobody actually wants a dog 24 hours a day and they don’t come with an off switch,

XelaM · 23/07/2023 09:25

cuckyplunt · 22/07/2023 18:34

The thing about dogs is, nobody actually wants a dog 24 hours a day and they don’t come with an off switch,

Neither do humans 🤷‍♀️

And I like my dog 24 hours a day (he sleeps for most of it) but then I don't shut him away in cages or force him to be on his own when I'm home. People create way more work for themselves with all the restrictions they impose on their dogs. Mine lazes s around on the sofa most of the day between walks without me shutting him away anywhere.

Leonberger · 23/07/2023 10:01

My dogs don’t follow me 24 hours a day…they sprawl around ignoring me.

I can’t imagine how bouncy they would be if I locked them somewhere and then let them out for short periods though…

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 23/07/2023 10:10

cuckyplunt · 22/07/2023 18:34

The thing about dogs is, nobody actually wants a dog 24 hours a day and they don’t come with an off switch,

Speak for yourself 🤷‍♀️

Mrsjayy · 23/07/2023 10:14

RoSa1719 · 21/07/2023 05:44

Should have added that she is 4 months old

Have her next to you whether in a crate if you have to she is a.baby and needs the company she is lonely and probably frightened. She will sleep better apart for the pee during the night.

WomanFromTheNorth · 23/07/2023 10:31

Puppies are babies. They need companionship. Our dog slept from day one through the night because he was in bed with us. Bring her bed upstairs.

ilovesushi · 23/07/2023 11:09

Sounds like she is doing pretty well. They grow and develop so fast. Soon she won't need to wake so early. The first few months are tough but it gets easier and easier.

Original poster
RoSa1719 · 23/07/2023 11:53

Thank you all so much for your replies they are really appreciated.
We’ve reintroduced to crate- going to give this a week. If no improvement I will move it upstairs in the landing. X

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