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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

I don't know how I'm going to do it, even though I know I must and will

80 replies

morelippy · 07/05/2023 09:29

Our girl is fading, and while she's ok atm, it won't be long before we need to be brave for her.

I will, I absolutely will not let her go too long. But I just don't know how I will get through it. The thought of deciding when, actually going through with it. I love her so much.

I've lost family in the last few years and now I'm losing my girl. I just don't think I can do it.

I'm sorry I don't even know the point of this post.

OP posts:
IngGenius · 07/05/2023 10:46

I am so sorry you are in this situation but as dog owners it is something we will all have to face.

You will deal with it - your love of your dog will help you find the strength.

Flowers
Eggseggseverywhere · 07/05/2023 10:51

We chose a date. Made the most of those 2 weeks in the meanwhile. Ddog had fish and chips. And beach walks every day. It was pancake day and she had 2 before we left for her last journey... Still can't put her photos up and it's been 3 years. Guilt presses hard still but as her owner it was my last gift... Her eyes were telling me she had had enough..

pookiedoodlepuppy · 07/05/2023 12:48

It definitely is one of the hardest things to do , but the fact you know it must be done before she suffers is good . The first time I had to do it I felt wicked , and regretted it , time and experience told me I did the right thing 💐.

Floramac · 07/05/2023 15:39

I totally understand and sympathise with you. I actually used to cry sometimes, when my dog was absolutely fine, just thinking about the day to come. They are our special soul mates, and it is agony. But you will do it for her. Just as we did, as soon as it was obvious that it was time. All you can think about is what is best for her, not you. She has been your world, now you must be her strength. My heart goes out to you.

Original poster
morelippy · 07/05/2023 16:28

Thank you for replying

I have been in tears on and off all day just thinking about it. I really want to be strong for her when the time comes.. she will know if I'm upset and it'll upset her which I absolutely don't want.

I'm going to call the vet tomorrow to see if they will do it at home ( I have a feeling they don't) and make sure I know how to manage what happens afterwards.. I don't want to leave her at the vet or have them take her straightaway.

Maybe if I'm clear about some things I'll feel a bit more in control.

Thank you for your kind words.

OP posts:
Sapin · 07/05/2023 16:43

In my experience the anticipatory grief was worse than the grief after our boy was gone. This stage is the worst I think. Thinking of you.

Patchworksack · 07/05/2023 16:46

There’s a mobile vet franchise called Cloud9 which offers at home euthanasia. A lot of traditional practices are struggling to offer home visits due to staffing at the moment, though worth asking your own vet first.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 07/05/2023 16:50

There's a YouTube video "Walnut's Last Walk" where a man put a post out for dog walkers to join him and his elderly whippet (Walnut) for one last walk.

Hundreds turned out .

OK, he had to carry his dog ( who had been through many ups and downs with him) to the sand.
The dog was old and ailing you could see ,, but the sparkle was still in his eyes that one last time .

Then a planned, quiet slipping away .

I;m not proposing for a second that you put an open invitation out there , but you can , as Eggs says plan a day and make the most of the time .

Fourfurrymonsters · 07/05/2023 16:52

I’m so very sorry. I’ve been there, and had to make that decision alone and even though now I can see I did entirely the right thing by my boy and let him go in peace and dignity, I beat myself up about it for a long time afterwards.
Years later we now have another 4 retrievers, all elderly and my 12-year old boy is fading. I am utterly dreading the next year or two because I know what’s coming. The only way to get through it is to understand that giving your beloved girl a dignified end is your last and greatest act of kindness. It’s a horrible paradox that doing your best for her will be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done and will break your heart, but there’s no way around it. Sending you huge hugs.

KnottyKnitting · 07/05/2023 16:59

So sorry you are facing this heartbreaking decision. Definitely see if they can do it at home. Our dog had become very frightened at the vets due to a number of appointments with tests and examinations in the few weeks before we had her pts. I didn't want her last moments to be frightening and stressful.

She was comfy in her bed when the vet and the nurse arrived. She had spent the afternoon being given lots of treats and cuddles. She barely woke up wasn't at all distressed and went very peacefully.

Take care Flowers

ScattyHattie · 07/05/2023 17:05

It is hard I think is also some relief when can see quality of life has dropped and know it will only decline further. It may feel wrong deciding to end a life but it's actually a gift being able to give pets a swift passing compared to suffering humans have waiting for nature to take its course.

It's nice being able to plan that time so you can spoil your dog, have realized at home and to prepare yourself rather than having an emergency euthanasia. People do sometimes book, cancel as have perked up and rebook. My vets rang before vets set off to check it was still wanted.

There are vets that only do end of life home

visits if you Google for your area. They can also take away for cremation if you wish or you can arrange this separately with a local company yourself.

GallbladderWoes · 07/05/2023 17:06

There are lots of vets out there offering at home euthanasia, our local one is The Rainbow Bridge Vet, and she's lovely.

It will be hard, I lost my two just 5 weeks apart last year and I was devastated 💔

Sending love OP

Floralnomad · 07/05/2023 17:14

Our local pet crematorium has a home euthanasia service , and they are lovely . 💐.

Railwayroad · 07/05/2023 17:17

God….I dread this day and my dog is only 5.

Lamelie · 07/05/2023 17:27

It’s very hard. But as devastating as it was it wasn’t as bad as the anticipation- knowing you have make that call and when and doing the best for your darling dog.
We went for at home and wonderfully it was very delayed, she wasn’t in pain so every extra hour was a bonus. We took lots of photos, had a splendid day out with her, mainly being carried and she died in ds’ lap. I left her on the sofa overnight, had a last cuddle and then ds and dh buried her in the garden (not allowed so don’t broadcast it, the vet said something about are you making your own arrangements? You’re not allowed to bury her in the garden but if you do dig deep because foxes)

IngGenius · 07/05/2023 17:32

@Lamelie it is fine to bury your dog in your own garden in the UK (if you own the land)

Lamelie · 07/05/2023 17:37

IngGenius · 07/05/2023 17:32

@Lamelie it is fine to bury your dog in your own garden in the UK (if you own the land)

Skim over anyone squeamish

Not when they’ve been put down as the remains are then ‘harmful to human health’

Letsnotargue · 07/05/2023 17:39

I’ve had to do this three times, and making the decision is always the hardest. Two of mine were very clear ‘it has to be today or tomorrow’ but one was more difficult to judge. I agree with the phrase ‘better a week too early than a day too late’. Dogs don’t have plans or wishes for the future, they just have the here and now and if they’re poorly then that’s what gave me the strength.

In terms of logistics I just went onto auto pilot and I can remember hearing the words come out of my mouth on the phone to the vets and not really
recognising what I was doing. It does feel so alien but it is the right thing to do. Two were PTS at home and we then drove them to the per crematorium. One was during covid and we had to go to the vets, wait outside until they had done their checks and then we met them in their garden where he was PTS. We took him from the vets to the pet crem as I didn’t want to leave him there. The pet crem were great and stayed open a bit late so we could make it to them through the traffic.

I agree that this bit is worse than anything to come. Give your dog lots of love while you can, but take comfort in the fact that you are doing her the greatest kindness ❤️

IngGenius · 07/05/2023 17:46

Lamelie · 07/05/2023 17:37

Skim over anyone squeamish

Not when they’ve been put down as the remains are then ‘harmful to human health’

Show quote history

Only for those that need the information click on the link.

Most dogs pts by the vet can be buried in the garden they lived in.

Burial of dogs in the UK

How to bury your dog or cat

A guide on how to properly bury your dog or cat in your garden after they have passed.

https://www.quietusvet.co.uk/bury-burial-dog-cat-uk

Eggseggseverywhere · 07/05/2023 18:40

Please please op find the strength to be there til the end. We had ddog sedated before the pts meds went in. Ddog had a quick jab on the thigh and vet left the room. Ddog had no strangers around as she slipped into a deep sleep. When she was out of it they put the drip and pts meds in. Ddog was oblivious.. Cost an extra £50 and worth every penny. We had her cremated and ashes returned.. I felt like I had done the very best I could for her when it mattered most.. Remember your ddog won't know they aren't going home... They will know you were there as they fell unconscious..

Theskyoutsideisblue · 07/05/2023 18:43

Ours is 9 and I know I can’t cope. Love and strength

ToHellBackAndBeyond · 07/05/2023 18:45

I'm so sorry you're facing this but happy for your dog that you are putting her first. That's the kindest and most selfless act of love any dog can ask for when they are not able to go on. Be there, hold it together for her and cry after. She'll know you loved her. 💐

Original poster
morelippy · 07/05/2023 18:45

I will definitely be there.

Those who have said the anticipation is worse than afterwards.. I'm so glad you've said that. I am absolutely dreading making the decision and going through with it, but I think Im going to be hugely relieved when it's over. That makes me feel so guilty though.

We won't be burying her in the garden as we plan to move fairly soon and I couldn't bear to leave her behind.

OP posts:
FiveShelties · 07/05/2023 18:51

I am so very sorry for you, it is an awful decision to make but it is the last loving thing we can do for a much loved pet.

As @Eggseggseverywhere said, your dog will not know she is not going home, she will just know that you are there.

mixedrecycling · 07/05/2023 19:05

Oh goodness, this thought always brings me to tears, although DDog is still young and healthy.

Hang on to the memories of your time together. I am sure you gave her the best life and - when it comes to it - a peaceful, loving end.