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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

I don't know how I'm going to do it, even though I know I must and will

80 replies

morelippy · 07/05/2023 09:29

Our girl is fading, and while she's ok atm, it won't be long before we need to be brave for her.

I will, I absolutely will not let her go too long. But I just don't know how I will get through it. The thought of deciding when, actually going through with it. I love her so much.

I've lost family in the last few years and now I'm losing my girl. I just don't think I can do it.

I'm sorry I don't even know the point of this post.

OP posts:
REP22 · 11/05/2023 17:42

I'm so sorry. It is utterly heart-wrenching.

But please know that, as awful as it is, it is an act of love. It's the last gift you can give to your friend, to release them from their physical struggle and give them dignity and peace.

I had private cremations for my wonderful dogs. Your vet should know of a firm that can arrange this (I used Dignity - Pet Cremation & Memorial Services | Dignity Pet Crematorium - I cannot praise them highly enough), and I received the ashes back in beautiful and tasteful caskets. For my last dog, I also received a paw-print in clay.

My experience has been that, when it is time, you unquestionably know. With the two dogs of mine that I knew to be approaching their ends, they had been contentedly and bravely getting along and then, one day, I looked at them and just knew. I could read it in their eyes. It's something you can't really explain.

It's heart-breaking. Such a cruel trick of fate to make their lives so short compared to our own.

But please know that you will be doing the right thing. She cannot decide for herself and she trusts you to make the right choice for her when the time comes. You will not be letting her down or betraying her trust.

Sending you much love. x

REP22 · 11/05/2023 17:46

I am so sorry @morelippy, I have just seen that she is now at peace.

Heartfelt sympathy and love to you. She was so very lucky to have lived her life with such a loving and caring owner, who did all the right things when they mattered the most throughout her life, from beginning to end.

Hugs and best wishes. x

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 11/05/2023 18:53

@morelippy @SoosanCarter thinking of you and sending thoughts. You've done all you can for your pups and given them a peaceful ending with the people they love and who love them. Run over the bridge and be pain free, wee pups.

pookiedoodlepuppy · 11/05/2023 19:18

So sorry for your loss , You loved her , and I've no doubt gave her the best life she could possibly have . Cherish those memories of the good times , they were the best .💐

Original poster
morelippy · 11/05/2023 20:17

Thank you for so many kind words. It's strangely comforting that complete strangers in my phone understand and take the time to comment with such kindness.
@SoosanCarter I'm sorry you're going through this too. It's truly heartbreaking isn't it.

OP posts:
Sunnycornwallanddevon · 11/05/2023 21:31

Much love ❤️ so hard

shockthemonkey · 11/05/2023 21:40

Total sympathy and solidarity here OP. It comes round too fast imo. Here’s a vote for pressing your vet to come to you. If they absolutely won’t then one of those specialist home pts services. I was there eight years ago and will be there again in not too long. 🐾🌹

SoosanCarter · 12/05/2023 00:23

morelippy · 11/05/2023 20:17

Thank you for so many kind words. It's strangely comforting that complete strangers in my phone understand and take the time to comment with such kindness.
@SoosanCarter I'm sorry you're going through this too. It's truly heartbreaking isn't it.

Today has been awful. I’m so sad. His bed is still in the sitting room, I can’t bear to move it.

deepspace9 · 12/05/2023 21:12

I'm so sorry 😞. It's heartbreaking 💔. Our 13 year old Weimaraner is fading and we know the time will soon be here. We were sure that last week we would lose him but he seems to have sprung back a little. It is inevitable though.

Thinking about you and hope you are ok x

captncrunch · 13/05/2023 00:43

OP I've just found this thread. I'm so sorry for your loss
I'm going through this right now, or about to. Just here crying in the middle of the night, in bed with my gorgeous 14 year old boy who has declined very suddenly this week. I feel like I have suddenly noticed how old he is and I'm not ready, like he's always just been there throughout all these eras of my life and I've taken it for granted.

He's plodding about but only awake for about 2 hours a day. He wees in the house several times a day. Isn't interested in going outside. He looks sad. But he loves us so much and I can't figure out if he still has quality of life or if he's in pain. I can't bear putting myself through the pain too early but how do you know before it's too late? Our vet ran blood tests and said that liver enzymes are high so he may be in the early stages of liver disease. She said we could monitor him a bit longer and see if he rallies.

Anyway this thread made me feel less alone in it all. My condolences to you on the loss of your lovely dog. I hope you are doing ok.

Paininthederriere · 13/05/2023 02:12

@morelippy & @SoosanCarter & anyone else in this position right now.
I’ve never had to do this but made the awful decision yesterday & let my beautiful lab go. I’d always planned at home but the vets were so compassionate & he slipped away in my arms. My heart just keeps breaking. I can’t stop crying & smelling his blanket & bed. The guilt is horrendous as he had a complicated condition & was outwardly fine until the end. My heart goes out to you both. Recrimination keeps winning over the positives atm. But they will come. We are so privileged to have had their love. It’s just so very hard 💔

SoosanCarter · 13/05/2023 02:35

Paininthederriere · 13/05/2023 02:12

@morelippy & @SoosanCarter & anyone else in this position right now.
I’ve never had to do this but made the awful decision yesterday & let my beautiful lab go. I’d always planned at home but the vets were so compassionate & he slipped away in my arms. My heart just keeps breaking. I can’t stop crying & smelling his blanket & bed. The guilt is horrendous as he had a complicated condition & was outwardly fine until the end. My heart goes out to you both. Recrimination keeps winning over the positives atm. But they will come. We are so privileged to have had their love. It’s just so very hard 💔

Thinking of you. I keep bursting into tears too. I went to see a friend today, and coming back to no waggy welcome was awful.

Paininthederriere · 13/05/2023 03:27

@SoosanCarter aww thank-you. You too. It’s horrific isn’t it. I was sitting down earlier & thought no one else was in the house & then saw the door from the kitchen opening just like it did when my boy would push it open & come running through full of the joys. I jumped out of my seat in disbelief & hope at the same time that it was him again. It’s just heart breaking. (Turned out to be my brother who hadn’t realised I was in).
It’s a strange comfort to hear from others in the same position. I can’t bear to look at photos of him but can’t stop myself looking at them. It’s torture. I’m going to take a sleeping tablet as it’s been so fraught. Sending you sympathy & support x

Tara336 · 13/05/2023 06:25

I had to make the decision 4 weeks ago today, it was something I've always dreaded but the vet told me they could try a few things that "might" work but that it would be hard on DDog and I had always promised myself I'd do what was right for him not me. I am proud that I hadvthe courage to hold it together and keep calm for DDog. I held him in my arms as he went. It was one of the toughest things I've ever been through but I didn't let him down, 4 weeks later I still spontaneously burst into tears if I think about him. I miss him terribly, but we had an amazing life together and he was loved so much.

Words · 13/05/2023 06:38

My heart goes out to you OP, and all the others on here who are grieving.
I've been there and I know the agony of this situation.

babyproblems · 13/05/2023 06:41

It’s v v v hard. You have to see it as not letting her suffer. It’s the kinder option. It’s hard to know when but when they start to have no quality of life it’s time. Remember the times together and if you can adopt another then do it xxxx

Original poster
morelippy · 13/05/2023 08:59

@captncrunch how is your boy this morning?

2 days since we lost her and still crying. Like someone else though I do feel quite proud of myself for being brave for her. I too held it together and she fell asleep with me holding her and chatting quietly in her ear. (Before I completely lost it).

48 hours later I don't feel any guilt.. she really would have been suffering by now and I'm so glad she's not. I just feel an overwhelming emptiness and miss her so much. I know grief well... and I know the only thing that helps at all is time.

It helps so much to hear others stories. Thank you so much for sharing them.

OP posts:
SoosanCarter · 13/05/2023 09:58

There’s still a rectangular outline of fur on my bedroom carpet, from the edge of his bed. I can’t bear to hoover it. But this morning I managed to wash a few toys for the next one.

captncrunch · 13/05/2023 11:50

Thank you @morelippy

Our boy is up and about, has been lying on the floor but awake a couple of hours this morning watching the kids play, he's asleep on the floor now.

He has good days and bad days. He had a couple of fits last week which was awful but then plodded on.

I think part of what is troubling me is making the decision too soon. When I took him to the vet after his second fit the vet seemed to suggest he would be fine carrying on and we just monitor the situation. But then he is always quite perky at the vet because he loves her, she gives him lots of cuddles and treats! It makes me feel like we are doing the wrong thing taking him in. But at home he really has very little to his existence, he just moves from one place to the other sleeping and wees and poos on the carpet every day. Are vets usually understanding if you make the decision? It will break my heart so much that I'm not sure I could cope if we brought him in and she tried to persuade us to carry on.

My biggest fear is he will die while I'm at work and I'll come home and find he's gone alone. 💔 I've had him since he was 8 weeks old and he's been one of the few constants in my life for the last 14 years. I just want to do the best for him.

Love to you all. It really is so lovely to read others posts, I feel less alone. My friends don't have dogs so don't fully understand.

captncrunch · 13/05/2023 11:51

@SoosanCarter that broke me! I'm so sorry for your loss.

Original poster
morelippy · 13/05/2023 11:59

@captncrunch I felt the same all of last week. She was moving about, sleeping loads. I didn't think she had much in her life but she seemed fairly content. It felt too soon because she seemed reasonably happy with her quiet life.

Everyone kept telling me I'd know, but tbh I didn't see how. Then on Wednesday she seemed to struggle with life a bit more.. even the bits she was eating she wasn't keen on ( and she's always loved food more than anything). She was still going outside when she needed to but she didn't want to and there was no wandering about having a sniff.

Then on Thursday she refused her meds even though they were wrapped in smoked salmon. I just knew.

I did wonder if once it was done I'd feel better and tbh I do. All the hurting is being done by me now. And I'd rather it be me than her.

Hugs for you. You'll do the right thing.

OP posts:
gogohmm · 13/05/2023 12:55

Thinking of all of you in this difficult position. I know it will be me before too long, but I'm grateful that we can make this decision for our pets when as humans we are left to suffer on in similar situations. Our final gift to them is to end suffering

shockthemonkey · 13/05/2023 18:12

😢

Justkeepingplatesspinning · 13/05/2023 18:15

@captncrunch Our old boy (14) went last autumn. He looked at me on the Sunday and his expression told me he was ready to go and I got him into the vet the next day. He went downhill so quickly over about 48 hrs but like your dog he loved the vets and even on his last day was perky when he saw where we were. It's probably better to be a day or two early than late so your doggie doesn't suffer. Thoughts coming your way.

Paininthederriere · 13/05/2023 19:23

@SoosanCarter oh that would kill me 😭
@morelippy thank you for this thread & sharing. You’re right time is the only healer 💐