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The doghouse

If you're worried about your pet's health, please speak to a vet or qualified professional.

Original poster

My dog is a stubborn muppet

42 replies

Wine4whine · 09/04/2023 21:03

Light-hearted!!!

I daren't post anywhere else as I'm sure I'll get absolutely flamed however I feel the need to vent about my otherwise lovely dog.

He's a well trained dog, responsive to cues, good recall and obedience (he has so few brain cells that he always looks remarkably pleased with himself whenever he completes a request).

BUT

Every night, without fail, if I stand up and leave the room he steals my seat on the sofa. Every. Single. Time.

He then lays there looking like he's giving me the middle finger with his head between his paws.

He weighs 8 stone - I can't just pick him up and move him.

I have even barricaded my seat with cushions (stacking 8 cushions in my place). This worked for a couple of days until I came back in to find an 8 stone, baggy skinned lump flopped awkwardly atop the stack of pillows.

This is a dog with so few brain cells that he frequently walks into/through inanimate objects, tries to catch a ball with his paws and insists he can squeeze between tiny gaps at high speed and sends everything flying.

Obviously this is light hearted... He's a fantastic dog really.

And yes he is allowed on the furniture, no we don't consider this an issue....until he decides we are the furniture (genuinely believes he's a tiny lap dog)

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 09/04/2023 21:07

You reminded me when mine was younger. He used to race DH down the corridor to steal his space on the sofa 😁

lljkk · 09/04/2023 21:08

We can't possibly grasp the situation without a picture, OP.

OldTinHat · 09/04/2023 21:09

Oh! I think I love your doggo!

Just sort of sit on/next to him and wiggle your backside in until he has to budge up. Or rattle the treat bag from far away, give him a treat and run like hell back to the settee whilst he's eating it and claim your space back!

Original poster
Wine4whine · 09/04/2023 21:13

@OldTinHat I'm ashamed to say I do now resort to sweeties which is in no way improving this entirely needless situation.
Sitting on him doesn't work. He's so bloody stubborn he doesn't care 🤣🤣

we have a large corner sofa....he can be put for the count snoring elsewhere on the sofa, I will leave the room and then come back in to find he has silently moved! It's unnecessary haha

OP posts:
Original poster
Wine4whine · 09/04/2023 21:19

Photographic evidence 🤣

My dog is a stubborn muppet
My dog is a stubborn muppet
OP posts:
lightinthebox · 09/04/2023 21:21

Mine is a sofa seat stealer too! All I have to do is lean forward and she sneaks in behind me and starts pushing me off.

PopethYnIawn · 09/04/2023 21:24

He's gloating as well. Twat.

Original poster
Wine4whine · 09/04/2023 21:24

@lightinthebox he attempts this one occasionally with his dad...unfortunately for him, stealth isn't his strong point. DDog I mean 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Wine4whine · 09/04/2023 21:25

@PopethYnIawn yes, yes he does gloat....which is what makes it all the more infuriating. I don't understand how he has the brain cells for this but not for doing dog things like catching a ball.

OP posts:
pickledandpuzzled · 09/04/2023 21:28

Haha! Love it. Mine does the same, but as he's about 20kg and I'm 90kg, he does move when I threaten to sit on him. He tells me he was just keeping my spot warm, though.

With DH it's a different matter. He barks at the door, DH gets up to let him out, and the dog nicks his seat. DH then sits somewhere else 🤣

Original poster
Wine4whine · 09/04/2023 21:32

@pickledandpuzzled that's amazing 🤣🤣 mine "accidentally" stretches and prods DP in the ribs/leg/foot etc etc

OP posts:
Climbingthelaundrymountain · 09/04/2023 21:49

Every single time I get up, the dog steals my seat. I just say "out" and he scurries off my seat looking guilty 😂

thispostisaboutyou · 09/04/2023 21:50

Mine is exactly the same. I always think he's trying to overtake my position in the pack 😂 Luckily he's smallish so I just pretend I'm going to sit on him with my massive arse and then he moves

Original poster
Wine4whine · 09/04/2023 22:03

@Climbingthelaundrymountain in every other day to day circumstance that's exactly what this Muppet would do! I can hold my hand up from across a field and he'll come straight back and sit at my feet, he does numerous other intelligent trained dog things....will he remove his sizeable behind from my seat? No.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wine4whine · 09/04/2023 22:05

But then I'm unsure if I'm expecting too much....this is a dog that lays down by going down on the front end and just flopping the back end sideways.....like a failed head stand. He is also scared of acorns and bird song. I feel my expectations are too high

OP posts:
roastednuts123 · 09/04/2023 22:18

No advice but this thread has made me smile. I also have a stubborn dog Grin

Original poster
Wine4whine · 09/04/2023 22:46

@roastednuts123 glad to hear we aren't fighting the stubborn dog fight alone 🤣

OP posts:
TakeMyStrongHand · 09/04/2023 23:06

Oh, he is beautiful! And he looks so happy and pleased with himself!

I also have a stubborn dog but he very much has an uninterested grumpy face nine times out of ten! I personally find it hilarious to ask him to do something or call his name and watch his cogs turn as he decides if there is anything in it for him and whether to obey. Normal dog owners would be most disgusted with him!

StillMedusa · 10/04/2023 00:28

Mine does the same.. if you leave 'your' spot.. she's in there faster than she ever moves at any other time of day!

She has a preference for one big squishy armchair. Dh's chair. She KNOWS Dh goes to bed early. If it gets to 9.30 and he hasn't gone she starts huffing at him and telling him to get out of her chair Grin She has him well trained...

MaryDerry · 10/04/2023 00:32

Oh he isn"t stubborn...he's smirking at you.

The delight in his face knowing you are now at a sofa disadvantage is very plain to see.

Hope your floor is comfy for you.

elm26 · 10/04/2023 03:10

Mine is also a sofa stealer! My DH only has to get up to get a drink and he's in his spot, curled up like it's his seat, he pays the rent, he is the king and you know what? He absolutely is the king of the castle here 😂

He moves when DH tells him to but their little faces 🥹 yours is a big loveable baby OP, beautiful dog xx

Aweebitpainful · 10/04/2023 03:12

Mine does this in the night when I get up to use the toilet. Every time I find her in my bed... right in the spot I just vacated!

chipsandpeas · 10/04/2023 03:14

my lhasa apso does this the second i move from the sofa shes in my spot and looks at me like im a piece of shit when i force her to move, then shes all wanting cuddles

LBF2020 · 10/04/2023 05:50

Mine goes up to my H and puts his front paws up on the sofa and his face directly in the way of H so he cannot see the TV. Then the dog nibbles his ear, H raises his hand to stop the tickles. DDog then gently takes his wrist in his mouth and leads him off the sofa to claim his spot. He does similar in the mornings, he rests his head on the edge of the bed, H gets up to take him for a wee but DDog jumps in to the bed. Golden retriever 😬😬

pickledandpuzzled · 10/04/2023 06:55

Oh I'm glad to hear mine isn't alone in his dad manipulation!