My dog is a stubborn muppet

[Wine4whine]

Light-hearted!!!

I daren't post anywhere else as I'm sure I'll get absolutely flamed however I feel the need to vent about my otherwise lovely dog.

He's a well trained dog, responsive to cues, good recall and obedience (he has so few brain cells that he always looks remarkably pleased with himself whenever he completes a request).

BUT

Every night, without fail, if I stand up and leave the room he steals my seat on the sofa. Every. Single. Time.

He then lays there looking like he's giving me the middle finger with his head between his paws.

He weighs 8 stone - I can't just pick him up and move him.

I have even barricaded my seat with cushions (stacking 8 cushions in my place). This worked for a couple of days until I came back in to find an 8 stone, baggy skinned lump flopped awkwardly atop the stack of pillows.

This is a dog with so few brain cells that he frequently walks into/through inanimate objects, tries to catch a ball with his paws and insists he can squeeze between tiny gaps at high speed and sends everything flying.

Obviously this is light hearted... He's a fantastic dog really.

And yes he is allowed on the furniture, no we don't consider this an issue....until he decides we are the furniture (genuinely believes he's a tiny lap dog)

DDog does this with DH seat-the minute he stands up! DPup is also learning to do it. And when he comes back and shifts them they both look so very very sorry for themselves before climbing onto my lap for a reassuring cuddle 😂

My last dog got used to early bedtimes, too. We often held church meetings at home, because of baby sitting, and the dog would get up at nine, stand in front of the vicar and bark! Time's up, mate. Off you pop.

I was going to say you were unreasonable for not posting a pic, but then I saw you did. He is stunning!

That is a gorgeous dog. :)

Mine does this, kind of. He isn't a soppy dog at all and will not generally go on beds or the sofa but 60% of the time I get myself ready for bed, I hear him toddle off upstairs and find him in my spot on my bed. He then gets annoyed when I get in (always around him and not making him move like an absolute mug) and huffs as he walks off.

Thankyou for all the lovely replies!! Glad to hear I'm not alone in my sofa plight 🤣

DDog also gets on the bed if one of us gets out. DP leaves for work at stupid o clock in the morning.....the minute he's out of bed DDog is in., Fine if DP has gone to work...not so fine when he's just got up for a pee. His other favourite trick is to get into bed and literally sit on my head if he can't get to a pillow. A lovely thing to wake up to lol.

He doesn't do mornings so refuses to get up and go outside until everyone else has been up for a good hour or so

I use tin foil to keep my ddog off the backs of the sofa - following a recommendation on MN. It works well (although she’s half the size of your ddog).

Can you try keeping some sheets of foil handy to reserve your seat?

I'm glad we aren't alone with having a dog that thinks he's a chihuahua 😄

With DH it's a different matter. He barks at the door, DH gets up to let him out, and the dog nicks his seat. DH then sits somewhere else

I wonder which one has the brains out of those two...

This should explain things 😉
Click on image to get beginning of text.
(off facebook, don't know source)

Try luring off with a treat, while holding a different treat out of sight of the dog (behind your back). When (if?) the dog gets off, don't let it have the lure treat, but reward with the different one previously out of sight.

If this works, you should be able to stop using a lure treat, and just using your hand without the treat but still using the reward treat in your other hand. Eventually, with a bit of luck, the dog will start anticipating. This is when you can introduce a cue word and reduce the use of the reward treat to random occurrences.

Good luck 👍

Mine 'accidentally' back kicks me in the face (like a mule) when I am trying to trim his feet. They are ticklish.

All of these stories make me feel so much better hahaha!
Muppet decided to sit delicately, like a giant ornament, on the foot stool in front of me earlier...looked ridiculous. And also, he doesn't fit!

I grew up with large dogs and have always had them as an adult....mainly GSD or GSD crosses so he's my first mastiff X. It's been a learning curve 🤣 the sheer lack of brain in most normal areas is astounding.

However, he was outside this afternoon when myself and DP heard the pitter patter of the sulo bin lid (DDOG has form for stealing from the sulo bin if it's 3/4 full - I have photographic evidence somewhere) I was well aware that both bins were far from full so confused as to why he was attempting to open the bin. Imagine my delight when I stepped into the lean to on the side of the house to find DDOG standing on a chair in order to reach further into the sulo bin and steal a lasagne tray. Why is this level of brain power not applied normal day to day living?

As a side note - would I have been unreasonable to have wet myself laughing if he'd fallen in?

He's a beauty! Mine does exactly the same.

@ilovesushi don't let him hear you say that.....he'll become even more smug

My golden retriever and I play 'sofa go round.'

I'll be spread out on a sofa and he'll join me for cuddles and scrunges.

I'll get up to go to the loo and there he is, completely spread out on the sofa, so I'll move to a different sofa.

Eventually he realises then comes and joins me for cuddles and scrunges.

Eventually I'll get up to make a cuppa. So I come back and he's all spread out so I go back to the other sofa.

Rinse and repeat.