Puppy regrets- I’m so sad

[Joey2412]

After a years of talking and research and finding the perfect puppy we bought our cocker home in Dec. Our 3 children adored him and we hoped the cat would accept him. As weeks have gone by my 5 year old has become increasingly withdrawn from him and hates coming in the room if he is there as he is so bitey. The kids spend most the time in the other room
to stop being harassed by him. I know these things will get better and we have training booked but I miss hanging with my kids. The pup can’t be left alone at home as he managed to get up on work surfaces and dinner table- I’ve rearranged everything but he stillmanages it. He is crate trained and is a dream at nighttime.

But the main issue is our poor cat. He won’t leave her alone. She has lost so much weight and we all miss spending time with her. She just dashes in and out when she has a spare chance. Im worried she will go out and not come back.

i can’t imagine being able to leave him out of the crate when we go out as she will be stuck. He has cornered her a few times and she won’t fight back. We are seriously thinking about rehoming as would be kinder but I cant imagine the guilt I would feel. Spending my days in tears.

I don’t want to leave it too long before making a decision as I think that will make it so much harder but I’m seriously worried about the cat and can’t believe I’m hating having a dog so much after I longed for it

Ps biggest take home from the book is always have a toy etc on hand ready to throw to him

I get really confused when people say they have done loads of research and then they get a cocker spaniel 🤯 cocker spaniels are high maintenance, they are particularly bitey especially as puppies, there is also something called cocker rage when they can completely lose it with little warning, as well as needing massive amounts of exercise otherwise they can be destructive. They also are prone to separation anxiety. Did your research not highlight any of these red flags??
Just from my pov when we researched although yes, they did say excitable, I rarely saw bitey, and the separation anxiety was dressed up as a bit clingy and just screamed loyal family dog at me because it basically said they hated being away from people but my god I’d never have guessed having one is like the neediest child ever- I actually spend more time with him some days than my children as he follows me about bumping into me (but it is cute and he is a legend and I wouldn’t trade him - now- he is I hate to say hard work and we went through the trenches but yes, I’d never recommend the breed unless people had loads of room and time, we spend a lot of time playing!!)

We spent 17 years with a rescue dog with significant issues. We managed them. She led an epic life. I’ve been teaching agility for over 10 years. I trained my own to a high grade. Advanced obedience too. I’ve helped lots of other people with dogs with various issues. I’ve walked other peoples dogs. I understand dogs.

Ive found a puppy bloody exhausting. Still do even though I can see glimpses of light at the end of the sometimes very dark tunnel.

Its ok to struggle. It’s ok to question things. It’s ok to worry and to vent. Sometimes things are not what we expect. Some of us can adapt. Sons of us cannot. It’s all ok.

What you want OP is conformation you aren't a bad person you don't need others conformation do what you want to do.
My dog is 9 and honestly I regret every minute of it for reasons I'm not going to go onto.
Your kids are first priority they aren't young forever. Do what you think is best.

Awh OP, I could have written this myself. We also have a cocker spaniel puppy (show type) and a cat and he also used to go for the cat quite a lot. Our cat is quite docile as well so wouldn't fight back, he'd just meow and run off with the dog chasing. We've separated the house out, so the cats sanctuary is upstairs and the dog is not allowed upstairs at all, we would always call our puppy back if he ever went near the cat, and give him a tasty treat or an exciting toy. It's been about 3 months now and there are moments when he goes to annoy the cat, but now the cat tolerates him, will sometimes sit next to him and our puppy also leaves him alone most of the time.

Give it time, really do. Our puppy was SO bitey, they call them cockerdiles but it's starting to ease off now. I promise you it does get better (everyone used to say that to me and I didn't believe them). Honestly we were so close to rehoming him as we felt so sad for the cat and my legs/arms were so full of scratches because of the constant biting (he was drawing blood at every opportunity!) Get some Whimzees, they're vegetable chews and they last ages so it'll keep your pup busy and mentally stimulated. Also enforce regular naps - cockers are so needy, they never let you out of their sight so will need to be put in a crate for sleep during the day, ours won't sleep otherwise! I know you have bowed out of this chat but if you do read this, just know that I've been there and it does/will get better.

Hate these sad threads about puppies being puppies and people wanting to get rid of them.

Sorry to say that i woods want to rehome the puppy. Sounds like perhaps you don't have the time to train them and your cat was there first, poor thing must be so confused as to why they have been pushed aside for this new dog.

three days after we got our dog, I sat down on the sofa and bawled my eyes out because I had no idea what I was taking on, the toilet training was killing me and my son had a really bad reaction to the dog. I wanted to surrender him to a shelter. And then I would be one of those people who abandoned a puppy and I cried harder at that thought.

He is 18 months now and absolutely part of the family. Although I have to say I wouldn't take on a puppy again, he's a now a great dog who I love dearly and I wouldn't give him up for the world. I think the puppy blues are common. Hopefully it gets better for you

Have you ever had a puppy before? People underestimate how horrible puppies are. They're cute demons from hell.

My current dog was a god damned monster for his first 2 years and the kids hated him. Now he's settled down and they love him. He's a 90lb Rhodesian Ridgeback and is very protective of them. RR's are 1000% harder breed to deal with than any spaniel could dream of. Believe me when I say the first 2 years were ..umm...challenging.....It's really hard to train the puppy biting out of them, and usually can't be truly solved until they get their permanent teeth.

Dogs aren't disposable. Getting rid of a dog because you can't or won't deal with the behavior the right way is unforgiveable.

It's not unforgivable. If more people accepted they'd bitten off more than they could chew at an appropriate moment, we might not have so many unforgivable tragedies involving children and dangerous dogs, not to mention dogs that are neglected and badly handled. Reflect on the resources that you dipped into with your RR and remember that not everyone will be capable of anything approaching that. They may not realise until the puppy is in the house. Reaching out for help and knowing when to step back is better for everyone in the long run, albeit better still not to have got the dog in the first place.

if you can get past this stage things might start looking up and you might even love your doggo more than your kids 😂 or not, it's really hard work and I hear you. i have had the same kind of bitey maniac who wouldn't leave my cat alone. Now the cat lives up on high surfaces where she can still be fed and watered and fussed and biteypoohead has to just sit and whine and leave her alone. When biteypoohead is on lead, resident cat comes up to him, flirts, rolls over and lets him sniff her so i think in time when he calms down, cat will become more relaxed.
Incidentally, the biting gets worse before it goes away because of teething. We had a really awful time with him and then started finding his baby teeth everywhere!

i think generally, all puppies go through several phases of 'unacceptable' behaviour and regression is common until they finally get it and start doing more of the things you want, time and patience and all that.

Incidentally my current 7 month old pup is our 2nd ever dog and he is going through a regression phase of bolshy bitey bitey because he thinks this is an easy way to initiate play at the moment. obviously no play happens until he stops bitey bitey and eventually i know this will stop, and he already self corrects...its like you can see the cogs in his brain working out how to do the right thing.

give pup and yourself a chance , best of luck 🐶😊

I hope this is helpful. Your situation sounds similar to one local to me, different circumstances, same breed and issues. A retired couple living close by took on a dog exactly like yours, same breed and age. The circumstances were different in as much as the original owner was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his very elderly dog of the same breed. The problem began almost immediately - he had forgotten just how much hard work, energy and effort a puppy was compared to his faithful elderly dog. He simply could not manage and the puppy was not getting the life it required.
The retired couple who adopted her have been absolutely the right owners for her. They are almost always both home the majority of the time, they enjoy long daily walks and time in the park with the dog. It is a match made perfectly for the dog and for them - and also for the genuinely lovely elderly gentleman who simply made a mistake by not realising he could not meet the needs of the dog.
Personally I would contact the Cocker rescue society and ask if they could start to match your lovely dog with a home better suited ? If this sounds like something you would consider it might help everyone involved - and the cat too. I do hope this helps.

How’s it going op?