Puppy regrets- I’m so sad

[Joey2412]

After a years of talking and research and finding the perfect puppy we bought our cocker home in Dec. Our 3 children adored him and we hoped the cat would accept him. As weeks have gone by my 5 year old has become increasingly withdrawn from him and hates coming in the room if he is there as he is so bitey. The kids spend most the time in the other room
to stop being harassed by him. I know these things will get better and we have training booked but I miss hanging with my kids. The pup can’t be left alone at home as he managed to get up on work surfaces and dinner table- I’ve rearranged everything but he stillmanages it. He is crate trained and is a dream at nighttime.

But the main issue is our poor cat. He won’t leave her alone. She has lost so much weight and we all miss spending time with her. She just dashes in and out when she has a spare chance. Im worried she will go out and not come back.

i can’t imagine being able to leave him out of the crate when we go out as she will be stuck. He has cornered her a few times and she won’t fight back. We are seriously thinking about rehoming as would be kinder but I cant imagine the guilt I would feel. Spending my days in tears.

I don’t want to leave it too long before making a decision as I think that will make it so much harder but I’m seriously worried about the cat and can’t believe I’m hating having a dog so much after I longed for it

Hi @Joey2412 . Have you tried feliway plug-in in an area the cat is comfortable and the puppy doesn't have access? This may help a bit.

Also maybe a cat box/climbing thing on the wall in the room where the pup is, so it's got somewhere to jump up to straight away when feeling threatened.

Was just about to suggest the feliway plug in. Hopefully OP will see it x

Zylkene can be really good too. Our second cat was attacked by a neighbours dog which really traumatised her. Zylkene really helped her feel less stressed.

I agree. Feliway has no effect on my cat at all but Zylkene works wonders.

I'd rehome. The pup is still young enough to easily find another home with no problem. Your kids and cat don't like the dog. You're struggling to train a solid leave it command. It's just misery. You did your best and it isn't working.

A) buyers remorse/puppy blues are very real

B) put a training lead on the puppy in the house, and also wellies on the children's feet can be a good deterrent

C) is your puppy getting enough sleep?

D) have you looked in to the puppy's food? Too many additives can cause the pup to be a bit hyper/wild

Can you try a plug in to relax the cat?

our dogs and cats get on really really well. BUT the dogs are not allowed upstairs. When i say get on well, they will share a bed well.

You need to rehome the puppy if you cannot cope but before you do, try separating your house off slightly, and having a dog free room/space

I felt like this so much when my cocker was a puppy. Now I couldn't be without her, even the thought of feeling like that makes me want to try. Hold tight it does get better and they are the best dogs in this world.

Sorry that's no help but please- don't do it.

I would rehome I think

Some cats will never accept a dog and if your cat ever does, it will clearly be reluctantly

She was there first so I think she has to come first. It's grossly unfair to upset her home like this and the sensible thing to do is accept that

We have a cat who detests all other animals. She would be exactly the same if I brought a puppy home - and believe me, I'd love one! But I know she'd be miserable and upset so I just can't

You've tried it and it's not working so that would be my advice. Rehome

And op - I hear you although plenty of other posters don't. It's the effect on your cat .. not the usual puppy stuff. Your cat matters and you know that

I agree. OP you said yourself your cat is stressed and not eating much. Very unfair on her, sorry that’s not what you want to hear.

That is such a hard situation. Are you training your dog to be calm around the cat? My number one focus with our puppy, now two years old, was to get her to sit on seeing our cats and immediately reward her, or if I had no treats on me, get her to come to the treat cupboard for a treat. Initially I put her a lead when the cats were nearby, so that she wasn't tempted to chase them. She learned really quickly. Treats and distraction with toys and games helped. One of cats was very stressed for the first few months and started getting urinary tract infections. We made sure the cats had the run of upstairs and their own route in and out of the house and that plug in calming stuff - feliway. Now they all rub along happily together. I spoke about my worries to the breeder from the start and when we picked up our puppy she said she would take her back if it didn't work out with the cats, so I always had that alternative. It has taken time but I am sitting on the sofa right now with a purring cat one side of me and a sleeping dog on the other.

Poor cat

Nonsense, lots of cats and dogs live happily together.

Oh yes just rehome after only 3 months. No wonder so many poor dogs end up in rescue. You don't just give up on a dog because it is harder work than you expected.

If the OP really does not want to keep the poor puppy then she should return it to the breeder NOT rehome it or give it to a rescue.

Just a practical idea to help your cat - can you get one or more tall, stable cat trees (zooplus do good ones) that lets them sit up high and watch the puppy without being chased? This really helped when our new dog turned out to be a cat chaser. Cat was able to sit still and observe the dog and dog got more used to cat being in the room but not available to pester.
A house line might be a good idea for puppy so you can interrupt chasing or other bad behaviour without having to manhandle them.

@mydogisthebest We are a foster home for a rescue and I wish more people gave up their dogs sooner not later. If this dog has come from a responsible breeder then yes of course it should go back to the breeder. Otherwise it should go to a reputable rescue who will find the pup a new home. Older dogs are much harder to place than puppies. There is no reason for this woman to slog it out for months only to realise her cat and kids will never get on with the dog and to then give it up. She sounds properly miserable. A 3 month old pup will be snapped up in an instant. A one year old dog that has lived in a stressed house with bad habits will not.

Who made you the gatekeeper of who can get another puppy when they want? a mistake doesn't disqualify someone from getting another pet for life!

Both my spaniels were absolute monsters until they were about 9 months old and the bitey monster bit got worse about this 5 month point before they stopped. Both ended up ridiculously soft mouthed and absolutely trustworthy, its the biteyness that gets the soft mouth skills, but they're not called cockerdile puppies for nothing! Both had me in tears with the relentlessness of their behaviour at this stage! And with both, separately years apart, I realised that I'd thought we were passed the puppy overtired stage but we weren't at all. We went back to a very strict routine of exercise, eat, play, sleep, and crated for regular naps, and both would be bouncing around like maniacs but a moment in the crate and they were sound asleep for hours. They were overstimulated and exhausted, which made them exhausting. They do pass through it. Honestly.

One of my bouncy maniacs was fine with the cats from about 9 months onward. The other remains a raving maniac, although a gentle one, and will bother the daylights out of the cats. A stairgate has been the answer; the cats have a floor to themselves where they can have peace and quiet, and sleep uninterrupted, and downstairs a few high perches mean they can get out of reach of the dog if he's being annoying. Often I end up with the dog and a cat or two asleep on my lap overnight.

Cocker puppies are hard but it passes, and a nightmare puppy can be a wonderful dog. Have you tried the cocker forum? There's a 0-12 month board where you can cry with and share ideas with others dealing with cockerdile bitey monsters, and they're a great source of support and advice, they got me through the 'oh God what have I done' hours.

Getting a pet is a lifetime (of the animal =commitment not just ditch and replace.

@Bunnyishotandcross Yup and she got the cat first. No can predict that two animals will not get on to the point of one being ill. She's acting responsibly toward the existing cat.

In this situation I would rehome. I don’t say that lightly, but your cat is suffering by the sounds of it and if she won’t fight back then she’s had it.

I think it’s so irresponsible to have gotten a puppy in these circumstances though (sorry) I’m not being goady but what on earth did you expect. A five year old, an established cat and a puppy 😣 they all bite OP. All of them. It bloody bastard hurts like merry hell too.
It takes bloody ages to train a dog, or at least that’s what I’ve found. Is it possible to separate the cat and dog for now, perhaps with the children in another room.

Please don’t get another dog and don’t throw the puppy in a crate and hope things get better.

Rehome puppy whilst it’s young and everyone will likely want him/ her.

Anyone who wants a dog should be made to volunteer at a rescue, for at least a few hours or borrow someone’s dog for a day. A wet day. When they are ill. Then decide!

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Aww OP I feel for you it is very tough! No matter how much research you do nothing truly prepares you for the madness of a puppy.

I got a puppy a few weeks ago, and already have 2 dogs and 5 cats in the house. Yes the puppy annoys the hell out of the cats, but I've put a baby gate up so that the cats can escape upstairs and it seems to be working fine. Once the puppy calms down I don't think it'll be as much of an issue as my other 2 dogs get along with the cats greatly.

It'll get better soon x

Hi op, I have an 11 month old cocker and two cats and a very similar situation but the youngest is 8. Read easy peasy puppy squeeze. No it will not transform your dog but we have taught him that when he’s getting bites (because he’s teething, we had to remind ourselves that this little guy was part of the family and just a teething baby) he picks up an old teddy and goes to town on it, a chewable dog treat, dog toy- basically anything at all he can take it out on. Our two cats fight and our dog chases one of the cats (has come to an agreement with the other(;))) so all 3 sleep in separate rooms- one in sitting room, one kitchen, one under the stairs /tiny utility room. It is all manageable but chaotic and it’s a case of remembering he is just a little baby and has a big heart and remembering how to have fun with him or yes, rehoming, which will not be a problem as he’s a popular breed but he could be so much easier within a year or so.

Youngest child is 8 btw!